Social awkwardness is something many people experience from time to time, but certain habits can make social interactions more uncomfortable than they need to be. While most of these behaviors are unintentional, they can create barriers that make it harder to connect with others. Recognizing and adjusting these habits can help improve your social interactions and make others feel more at ease around you. Here are 14 socially awkward behaviors that might make people avoid you.
1. Not Looking Someone In The Eyes When They’re Talking To You
Avoiding eye contact can make conversations feel distant or uncomfortable. While maintaining eye contact can be challenging, especially for those who feel shy or anxious, it helps create a sense of connection and attentiveness. When you consistently look away, it can make the other person feel like you’re disinterested or unsure of yourself, which may lead to shorter, less engaging conversations. According to All About Vision, we use our knowledge of eye function to decode eye behavior, helping us understand the tone of messages and navigate conversations more effectively.
Balancing eye contact is key—you don’t need to stare, but maintaining brief eye contact while listening and speaking shows that you’re present and engaged. If direct eye contact feels overwhelming, try focusing on the space between their eyes or their eyebrows to appear more confident and approachable without feeling uncomfortable.
2. Using Dark Humor As A Coping Mechanism
Dark humor can be funny in the right context, but using it as a default response to awkward situations can make others feel uneasy. Jokes about sensitive topics might come across as inappropriate or insensitive, especially if the people around you don’t share the same sense of humor. While humor can break the ice, dark or self-deprecating jokes often create distance rather than connection. As reported by a study from Portland State University, dark humor might be used as a coping mechanism due to its hypothesized relationship to our psychological well-being, with some research suggesting that humor use is linked to higher self-esteem and increased resilience when facing adverse life events.
Instead, try using lighthearted humor that everyone can relate to. Focusing on positive or observational jokes can help you connect with others without making the conversation feel heavy or uncomfortable. Reading the room and understanding the tone of the situation is essential to ensure your humor is well-received.
3. Resorting To Sarcasm Because You Feel Awkward
Playful teasing can be a way to bond with close friends, but using it as a defense mechanism in social situations can come across as rude or dismissive. When you tease someone to cover up your own discomfort, it can make them feel judged or embarrassed, even if you don’t mean any harm. This behavior often creates distance rather than fostering genuine connections. A recent article from TalktoAngel highlights that teasing, especially when malicious, can contribute to anxiety, depression, and social withdrawal, particularly among adolescents who are more susceptible to its negative effects.
Instead of relying on teasing to fill awkward silences, try using compliments or light, friendly comments to keep the conversation positive. Focusing on shared interests and finding common ground helps create a more comfortable atmosphere without making anyone feel self-conscious.
4. Giving Boring One-Word Responses
Short, one-word answers can make conversations feel forced and awkward. When someone asks you a question, responding with a simple “yes,” “no,” or “fine” can quickly shut down the interaction, leaving the other person unsure of how to continue. This habit can make you seem disinterested or unwilling to engage, even if that’s not your intention. Communication experts emphasize that effective short answers should be concise, clear, and relevant, adapting to the context and expectations of the audience to convey information swiftly and efficiently, as noted by Exclusive Paper.
To keep conversations flowing, try expanding your responses with a bit of detail. For example, instead of saying, “I’m fine,” you might say, “I’m doing well—just been busy with work lately.” Adding a little extra information gives the other person something to respond to, making the interaction feel more natural and engaging.
5. Standing Uncomfortably Close To The Other Person
Invading someone’s personal space can make them feel uncomfortable and anxious. While cultural norms around personal space vary, standing too close during a conversation can be perceived as intrusive or overwhelming. Most people prefer to maintain about an arm’s length of distance during casual conversations, especially with acquaintances or strangers.
Paying attention to body language cues can help you gauge the appropriate distance. If the other person steps back or leans away, it’s a sign that you may be standing too close. Respecting personal space helps others feel more comfortable and makes conversations feel more relaxed and natural.
6. Zoning Out Mid-Conversation
Letting your mind wander during a conversation can make the other person feel ignored or unimportant. Whether you’re distracted by your phone, your surroundings, or your own thoughts, zoning out sends the message that you’re not fully present. This behavior can quickly make people lose interest in talking to you, as they may feel like they’re talking to themselves.
Staying engaged in the conversation shows that you value the other person’s time and perspective. Practice active listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding occasionally, and responding thoughtfully to what they’re saying. If you catch yourself zoning out, refocus by asking a follow-up question or summarizing what they just said to show that you’re paying attention.
7. Not Understanding When It’s Your Turn To Speak
Interrupting others or waiting too long to respond can disrupt the flow of a conversation. When you consistently speak over others, it can come across as impatient or disrespectful. On the other hand, waiting too long to respond can create awkward pauses that make the conversation feel stilted and uncomfortable.
Paying attention to social cues can help you find the right timing. Wait until the other person finishes their thought before jumping in, and aim to respond within a few seconds to keep the conversation moving naturally. Practicing active listening can also help you pick up on subtle signals that it’s your turn to speak.
8. Not Being Able To Accept Compliments With Grace
Deflecting compliments or responding with self-deprecating comments can make others feel awkward or unsure of how to interact with you. While it might feel uncomfortable to accept praise, dismissing kind words can come across as insecure or unappreciative. This habit can make people hesitant to offer compliments in the future, limiting opportunities for positive interactions.
Accepting compliments gracefully shows confidence and helps build rapport with others. A simple “Thank you, I appreciate that” is often the best response. If you feel the need to add more, try acknowledging the compliment with a brief, positive statement like, “That means a lot coming from you” or “I’ve been working hard on that, so it’s great to hear.”
9. Standing With Closed-Off Body Language
Crossed arms, slouched shoulders, and a tense posture can make you seem unapproachable or disinterested. Body language plays a significant role in social interactions, and closed-off gestures can create barriers that make others feel unwelcome. Even if you’re not intentionally trying to distance yourself, these signals can subconsciously affect how others perceive you.
Adopting open, relaxed body language helps create a more inviting and approachable presence. Stand or sit with your shoulders back, arms at your sides, and feet shoulder-width apart. Keeping your hands visible and maintaining a relaxed posture can make you seem more confident and approachable, encouraging others to engage with you.
10. Not Being Able To Read Social Cues
Missing subtle social signals can lead to awkward interactions, especially if you continue behaviors that others find uncomfortable. For example, failing to notice when someone is disinterested, uncomfortable, or trying to end the conversation can make you seem unaware or insensitive. Social cues include body language, tone of voice, and changes in facial expressions, all of which provide context for how others feel.
Improving your ability to read social cues takes practice and attentiveness. Pay attention to the other person’s posture, eye contact, and facial expressions to gauge their comfort level. If they start looking around, shifting their weight, or giving short responses, it might be time to change the subject or wrap up the conversation.
11. Not Knowing When Someone Is Trying To Wrap Up A Conversation
Continuing to talk when someone is trying to end the conversation can make them feel trapped or frustrated. Subtle signs like glancing at their phone, checking the time, or stepping back slightly often indicate that they’re ready to move on. Ignoring these cues can create awkward situations where the other person feels obligated to stay longer than they want to.
Recognizing when a conversation is winding down helps you leave on a positive note. If you notice the other person giving signs that they’re ready to leave, wrap things up with a polite statement like, “It was great chatting with you” or “I’ll let you get back to what you were doing.” Ending the interaction at the right time leaves a better impression and makes future interactions more comfortable.
12. Being The Uncomfortable Third Wheel In A Conversation
Joining a conversation between two people who already know each other can be tricky, but lingering without contributing can make you feel like an outsider. If you stand silently while the other two continue their conversation, it can create awkwardness and make them feel unsure of how to include you. This dynamic often happens when you’re unsure how to jump in or feel nervous about interrupting.
To avoid feeling like the odd one out, look for natural opportunities to contribute. If the conversation pauses, introduce yourself or add a comment that relates to the topic. Making eye contact, smiling, and using open body language can also help signal that you’re interested in participating. If you still feel out of place, it’s okay to politely excuse yourself rather than standing awkwardly on the sidelines.
13. Making Inappropriate Jokes To Break The Ice
Using humor to ease social tension can be effective, but jokes that are off-color, offensive, or poorly timed can backfire. Inappropriate jokes can make others feel uncomfortable, judged, or unsure of how to respond. Even if you’re trying to lighten the mood, humor that crosses social boundaries can create awkwardness and damage first impressions.
Instead of relying on edgy jokes, use light, relatable humor that’s unlikely to offend. Observational humor or playful comments about shared experiences are usually safer choices. Pay attention to how others react to your jokes, and adjust your approach if you notice discomfort or confusion.
14. Speaking In A Monotone Voice
A flat, emotionless tone can make conversations feel dull and uninspiring. When your voice lacks variation, it can be harder for others to stay engaged, as it may come across as disinterest or low energy. This habit is common among people who feel nervous or unsure of themselves, but it can create barriers to building connections.
Adding inflection and warmth to your voice helps make conversations more engaging and relatable. Practice varying your tone, emphasizing key words, and using natural pauses to convey interest and enthusiasm. Smiling while you speak can also help your voice sound warmer and more inviting, making interactions feel more enjoyable for both you and the other person.
