14 Things A Guy Should Give You Even If He’s Not Your Official Boyfriend

You’re casually dating or hanging out. Even though you’re not wearing the girlfriend label, that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be treating you like a queen. Here are 14 standards he should meet even if you’re not an official couple.

  1. You should know where you standYou might not be heading to a relationship but you still deserve to know where you’re at right now. It’s so much better than having sex or a casual relationship only to realize later that he saw things totally differently and had different expectations. Just be clear and upfront and you’ll both save yourselves the drama.
  2. You should be respected. Screw the guys who only treat women with respect and chivalry when they want to date them officially. A guy should be respectful to every woman he meets. If he can’t do that, you shouldn’t even want to spend time with this loser.
  3. Mixed messages are off the table. You deserve to deal with a guy who’s consistent, even if you’re just sleeping together. He should show up for dates when he says he will and make an effort with you. He can’t be lazy and expect women to fall over for him. Screw that.
  4. You deserve to feel special. You’re not replaceable and if a guy treats you like you are, he deserves to get a drink splashed in his face. The “build her up, then break her down” dating strategy might claim to work for guys, but it’s total BS. A guy who treats a woman as though she’s the most interesting, beautiful, and alluring person in the room will always get her respect and time.
  5. You should receive emotional honesty. You might know what he wants, but how does he feel about you? This is crucial to know because you don’t want to waste your time on a guy who isn’t really into you. It’s unfair AF of him to lead you on. If he can’t even answer how he feels about you, that’s enough of an answer!
  6. You should be treated with kindness. You shouldn’t be ghosted by a guy you dated or ignored in RL when you bump into the guy you had sex with last night. What a jerk! He should be treating you with kindness and consider your feelings. You’re a human being, for goodness’ sake.
  7. You should be supported. He might not be your boyfriend (yet), but he’s dating you and should be showing you support. When you have a rough day, he should ask you you’re doing. When you have a great day, he should be genuinely happy for you. If he can’t do that, he’s a selfish a-hole.
  8. You should feel safe. Whether you’re his booty call or his future girlfriend, if you’re sleeping together, he should make you feel safe. He should always carry condoms and be willing to wear them. If he doesn’t, he’s not only stupid AF but he’s fine with putting your life in danger even though he claims to care about you. Loser!
  9. You should feel free to speak up. You and the guy should have open communication right from the first date. This enables you to learn about each other, figure out if you’re right for each other, and respect each other’s boundaries both inside the bedroom and outside of it. This makes for a great time together, no matter what happens later.
  10. You should be able to trust him. You should be able to trust the guy you’re spending so much time with. He should show that he’s trustworthy by being reliable, punctual, and keeping his word. A guy who leaves you hanging is not a good person. Cut the strings and forget about him. If he seems trustworthy but you just get the sense that something’s not genuine about him, do yourself a favor and leave.
  11. You should have your spaceJust because he’s really into you, it doesn’t mean he should expect you to be around him all the time. He should give you space you need to do your own thing and chase your happiness. Without that, the best relationship—or “almost relationship”—can become toxic really quickly.
  12. You can leave with no hard feelings. Relationships end and sometimes casual dating doesn’t even reach the relationship waters. It’s life. But no matter what happens, you deserve a guy who won’t give you unnecessary emotional baggage by going AWOL on you and who is man enough to give you closure when things come to an end. 
  13. You’re not treated like his girlfriend unless he means it. It’s so crappy when a guy acts like he’s your boyfriend on dates but doesn’t actually make your relationship official. WTF? He’s just after the relationship perks he can get from you without making things legit. Is it so much to ask for a guy whose actions actually mean something? Ugh.
  14. You’re not just a number. If he’s dating you, he shouldn’t be screwing around with other women unless you both agreed that that was okay. Besides, if he likes you so much and he’s having such a great time getting to know you, he shouldn’t need to be getting his rocks off with other people. He should either get real or GTFO. It’s the least he can do.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.