We’ve all been there. That friend who treats your time and energy like they’re endless resources—and not in a good way. They make excuses, push limits, and somehow always leave you feeling like the bad guy when you finally call them out. If you’ve been hearing things like this, it might be time to rethink how much access they have to your life.
1. “I’ll be there in five minutes!”
We all know what this really means—they’re still at home, probably just now putting their shoes on. It’s not the lateness that gets annoying, it’s the blatant disregard for your time. If they respected you, they’d just say, “I’m running late” instead of feeding you this weak excuse.
2. “Why are you making such a big deal about it?”
Classic deflection. You bring up something they did that bothered you, and instead of owning it, they make you feel like you’re overreacting. It’s a subtle way of saying, “Your feelings aren’t valid.” They absolutely are and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
3. “I totally forgot!”
Once? Sure, we’re all human. But when it becomes their go-to excuse, it’s hard not to take it personally. Forgetting plans once in a while is normal, consistently forgetting plans with you is a sign they’re just not prioritizing your time.
4. “Can we just play it by ear?”
This one sounds harmless, but it’s often a way to keep their options open in case something “better” comes along. It leaves you hanging, trying to adjust your plans around their whims. Respectful friends commit—they don’t make you wait around.
5. “You’re too sensitive.”
Ah, the ultimate gaslighting phrase. Instead of addressing the issue, they make it about you being “too much.” Boundaries aren’t you being “too sensitive”, they’re about respect. A real friend gets that and doesn’t try to make you feel bad for speaking up.
6. “Sorry, I’ve just been so busy.”
Life is busy for everyone, but when this becomes their standard response, it starts to feel hollow—especially when they somehow find time for other friends or activities. Being busy isn’t the issue; not valuing your relationship is.
7. “I thought you’d understand.”
This one hits with a side of guilt. They know they messed up, but instead of owning up to their bad behavior, they sneakily try to rely on your kindness to let it slide. While understanding is important in friendships, it’s not a free pass for disrespect.
8. “You should’ve reminded me.”
So now you’re their personal assistant? Forgetting plans is one thing, but turning it into your responsibility is next-level inconsiderate. If they cared, they’d set their own reminders instead of making you feel like the failure here.
9. “I’m just being honest.”
Honesty is great—when it’s constructive. But this is usually code for, “I’m going to say something rude, and you’re not allowed to get mad.” A good friend knows how to be real without being hurtful. If this phrase is followed by something unnecessarily mean or hurtful, then that’s not a good friend.
10. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”
When you finally muster the courage to address an issue, they flip it around, making it seem like you’re the problem for not bringing it up earlier even though you tend to walk on eggshells around them as is. It’s a sneaky way of avoiding accountability, and it’s exhausting.
11. “It’s not a big deal.”
To them, maybe. But to you, it is—and that should be enough. Dismissing your concerns as “no big deal” shows they’re not interested in hearing or understanding your perspective. Friends who care make the effort to listen.
12. “Let’s just wing it.”
Spontaneity can be fun, but constantly “winging it” usually means they don’t want to commit to plans. It’s fine every now and then, but if it’s their default, it starts to feel like they’re prioritizing convenience over consideration.
13. “I didn’t think you’d mind.”
Whether it’s canceling last minute or overstepping a boundary, this phrase assumes way too much. Respectful friends don’t take your understanding for granted—they ask before making assumptions about how you feel.
14. “You know how I am.”
Translation: “I’m not going to change, so deal with it.” Everyone has flaws, but using them as an excuse to repeatedly disrespect you isn’t okay. Growth is part of being a good friend, and brushing off bad behavior with this line is just lazy.
This content was created by a real person with the assistance of AI.
