I have a lot of great guys in my life who I truly adore… but they also drive me mad. None of us are perfect, but these are some of the faux pas that men commit that really get to me.
- Brag I know it’s a compensation mechanism for low self-esteem sometimes, but come on. Sometimes guys really do think they’re all that and more. Material possessions and athletic accomplishments don’t impress me. I want to be around guys who are quality people, not ones who are full of empty words.
- Mansplain Ugh, this is the worst—and it’s made even more awful because most men are completely ignorant of the fact that they do it. It’s been a culturally inherent problem for so long that guys literally have to be retrained how to speak normally to women. If there’s anything I can’t stand, it’s being patronized.
- Interrupt me I absolutely can’t stand it when guys think that what they have to say is more important than what I have to say. I’m polite enough to listen to them, so they need to return the favor. This is literally the fastest way to lose my interest in a conversation. I can tell when a guy is just bursting to talk over me.
- Act sexist I mean, it should be clear that this is hateful behavior but apparently it’s not. If a guy doesn’t realize he’s a misogynist pig, trust me, I’ll get him wise to the fact pretty quickly. I have no time or patience for this in my life—I’m a grown woman and I don’t put up with crap.
- Make derogatory comments Whether they’re sexist, racist, homophobic, or just plain mean, I will call out any guy who talks crap this way. No one should do it, but I find men to be more guilty – especially because they will throw out crap statements about women like it’s no big deal.
- Take me for granted This is a bit different but drives me just as mad. I live my life in the present. I know that good people are not a guarantee. I appreciate everyone who’s dear to me, so it bums me out when a guy takes me for granted practically right out of the gate, especially when I still treat him like he’s special.
- Act like they’re the shit. Again, this is usually insecurity but it’s still maddening. We aren’t little kids. This isn’t the way to impress a woman. Be humble, compassionate, loving, and kind. That’s how a good, mature adult man behaves. Posing and boasting don’t make a guy look cool. They make him look ridiculous.
- Expect me to laugh at stupid jokes I’m not here to placate a guy’s ego. I’m not going to tear him down for no reason either—that’s not my objective. I just don’t want to feel obligated to act like he’s the funniest dude alive when he’s not. If he actually is hilarious, I’m glad to oblige.
- Treat women poorly Clearly, this is unacceptable. I don’t care who the woman is, it’s not OK. Real men know that women are to be cherished, respected and loved. That’s the only way to get back the love that they then deserve in kind. Guys who are terrible to women don’t deserve our attention.
- Act like they know everything This is the worst. I’ve known guys who will literally spout off everything they know at the least provocation, and often they don’t know all that much. I don’t know who they’re trying to impress but it’s not working on me. I find it irritating. Know-it-alls are the worst.
- Ignore their privilege Being a man in this world comes with some inherent privileges. It’s impossible to deny and yet some guys still argue against it. Yes, there are other issues when it comes to race and sexual orientation, but the bottom line is that guys have it pretty good. If they don’t know it, they should.
- Assume they’re stronger than me I don’t mind a man offering me help, as long as he doesn’t just take over and assume he can do it better than I can. I’m actually pretty strong and I’m not too proud to ask when I need assistance. They need to back off and stop treating me like a child. I may be small but that doesn’t mean anything.
- Think they’re guaranteed sex EVER. Let’s get this straight. No one—NO ONE—is ever guaranteed sex. For anything. I don’t care what the situation is, that’s not a thing. If a man ever, ever, ever, acts like he’s entitled to my body, I’ll actually lose my mind on him right then and there.
- Dismiss me in any way I’ve worked long and hard to build my worth. I know that I have value. I will not be ignored, brushed aside, or treated like I am less than. There’s great strength and grace in standing my ground when I know that I should. Men who don’t understand my value can get out of my life.