If I think back to texts I sent guys in the past, I actually cringe. I made so many mistakes and outright faux pas that it’s incredibly embarrassing, but at least I learned from them. Here are 15 things I definitely won’t be doing again.
I know it shouldn’t be a big deal and if a guy really likes me, he won’t care if I’m double-texting. However, I must be honest: I hated the feeling after I did it. I felt a bit like a stalker and it hardly ever guaranteed a response from the guy, so it was pretty pointless.
Calling when I got no reply
A few times, I got really pissed off when a guy didn’t reply to an important text so I’d call him instead. Eek! Bad move. It just made me look so desperate for him to talk to me.
Asking generic questions
“Hey, how was your day?” or “What did you get up to on the weekend?” Yawn. I sometimes didn’t have much to say but instead of not saying anything, I’d resort to these clichés. Terrible. It was a guaranteed way to bore the living daylights out of the guy.
Sending saucy texts when I got no reply
There was a guy who would chat to me often via text and we’d exchange flirtatious messages. Then he’d disappear for a few weeks, during which time I really missed our chats. I sent him a saucy text once or twice to boost his interest. It worked, but soon he’d repeat his behavior and go AWOL and I’d feel pathetic.
Using too many emojis
I used to love using emojis at the end of a sentence and especially when I didn’t know what to say. The problem is that it’s really annoying trying to speak to someone who’s communicating with pictures. Now that I’ve dealt with guys who do that, I see how frustrating it is and won’t do it again. If I have something to say, I have to just come out and say it.
Writing too much
When a guy asked how my day was, I’d try to give him an interesting story. The problem is I’d write way too much so he’d end up with a freaking essay about my day. Boring! It’s so much better to keep the mystery alive.
Forcing myself to wait before replying
I hated being the one to reply to texts really quickly so I forced myself to wait longer. Sometimes it would be hours, other times it would be days. Either way, just led to guys asking me where I was or why I’d disappeared, which felt like I was just playing big, pathetic games.
Having arguments over text instead of in person
With a guy I dated, we sometimes got into fights over text. It was so awkward, plus it’s really hard to get across what I’m trying to say without things like tone and body language to help me out. Too much drama.
Texting too often
I enjoyed chatting to a guy so much, I’d text until the cows came home. I wanted to keep the conversation going, but while I was doing this, I didn’t realize just how little effort he was making. If I’d just stopped texting so much, I would’ve seen when he checked out of the conversation and if our conversation was even meaningful! It usually wasn’t.
Being the first to text
With a few guys I dated, I was always the first one to text to see how their day was going or to check in when they hadn’t been in touch. So lame! It’s like I was hanging onto whatever communication I could get, meanwhile the guys were just giving me crumbs.
Asking where he was
After not hearing from one guy who had the tendency to go silent for a few days, I resorted to the “Hey, where the heck are you?” text. Bad idea. It just made him feel cornered. I was basically saying, “When the heck are you going to text me, damn it?”
Apologizing too much
I was too much of a nice girl. I sometimes texted apologies for various things that didn’t require them, such as when I’d taken too long to reply to a generic text. I have a life and shouldn’t be expected to be at some guy’s beck and call.
Being too available
I’d try to come across as though I had no plans on the weekend when asked, in the hope that the guy would ask me out. No, no, no! This just made it seem like my life was boring or I was waiting around for him to ask me out. Both suck.
Replying to a late-night text
When guys sent me late-night texts, probably after drinking too much on a Friday night, I’d engage with them. We’d chat and flirt until sunrise with me thinking that I’d hear from them the next day. Only I didn’t—and once, I never heard from the guy again. I should’ve just ignored those pathetic “You still up?” texts. They were just booty calls.
Asking friends for texting tips
A few times I’ve relied on advice from my besties about what to text a guy. Bad idea! I’m the one who has to live with the consequences of sending a naughty text to a guy who’s not worth my time and the one who’ll later cringe at the angry text I sent. Ugh. Since then, my texts are private and the only person’s opinions I follow are mine. It really helps that I’ve stopped making all the above mistakes ’cause they were killing my game.
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