Relationships are complicated, and sometimes, it’s hard to know exactly where you stand. If you need answers, pay attention to his actions; they always speak louder than words. He might be saying all the right things, but if his behavior doesn’t line up, he may not be as committed as he claims.
1. Deep Talks? He’s Out
Whenever you try to have an honest conversation about your relationship, he pulls the ol’ switcheroo and changes the subject. If he’s dodging the serious stuff, he’s probably not ready to get real. A guy all in for the long haul will lean into those deeper conversations instead of running from them.
Tip: Don’t ignore the signs—if he’s avoiding emotional depth, it’s a red flag.
2. His Friends Don’t Even Know You Exist
You’ve been seeing him for a while, but somehow, his friends have no clue you’re even a thing. When a guy’s invested, he’s excited to bring you into his world, including his social circle. If he’s keeping you separate from his crew, it could mean he’s keeping his options open.
Tip: If you haven’t met his friends or heard your name in conversation, he might be keeping things casual.
3. “We” Is Missing From His Vocab
If everything in his life is still framed as “I” and never “we,” it’s a clue that he’s not factoring you into his future. A guy who’s serious about you will talk in terms of you two as a team—“We should do this,” “We could go there.” He might not be planning for one if he’s not even hinting at a joint future.
Tip: Pay attention to how he talks about his life—if it’s always just “me,” he might not be imagining an “us.”
4. Last-Minute Plans Are His Go-To
Spontaneous plans can be fun, but if that’s all you’re getting, it’s a sign he’s not prioritizing you. Someone committed wants to plan and make you feel special, not like you’re just an afterthought (or a booty call). If he’s hitting you up with “What are you doing right now?” more often than setting plans in advance, it could mean he’s just keeping it casual.
Tip: If he can’t make solid plans with you, he might not be thinking long-term.
5. He’s Got Wandering Eyes
Does he seem just a little too friendly with the server? Or maybe he’s checking out every attractive person who walks by. That’s a surefire sign he’s not fully invested and letting you know. A genuinely committed guy will respect your relationship and keep his focus on you—especially when you’re together.
Tip: If he’s constantly flirting or has wandering eyes, he’s likely not ready to commit.
6. He’s Still Hung Up on His Ex
If he’s always bringing up stories about his ex or comparing you to her, that’s a big red flag. It shows he’s still caught up in the past and not fully present with you. To build something real, he needs to leave those old relationships where they belong—in the rearview mirror.
Tip: If he’s stuck in nostalgia land, it’s time to discuss whether he’s ready to move forward.
7. He’s MIA During Important Moments
If he ghosts or finds excuses to miss your big moments—birthdays, family events, important milestones—it’s a sign he’s not making you a priority. Someone who’s serious will be there, not just for the fun stuff but for the important life moments, too.
Tip: If he’s constantly absent for your big events, take a step back and assess his level of commitment.
8. Family Introductions? Nah, He’s Not Into It
A guy who’s dodging meeting your family might not see the relationship going anywhere serious. Meeting the fam is a big deal, and if he’s making up excuses or seems uncomfortable with the idea, it could mean he’s not ready for that level of commitment.
Tip: If he’s avoiding the family meet-up, it might be because he doesn’t see a long-term future with you.
9. His Plans Change… All the Time
If he consistently cancels or changes plans at the last minute, it’s a sign you’re not his priority. Sure, life happens, and sometimes plans need to be adjusted, but if this is a regular occurrence, it shows he’s not making the effort to make time for you.
Tip: If he’s constantly flaking, it’s time to reevaluate how much energy he’s putting into the relationship.
10. He Keeps His Feelings Under Lock and Key
When someone is truly invested, they’re willing to be vulnerable and share their inner thoughts and feelings. If he’s keeping things surface-level and refuses to open up, it’s a sign he’s not letting you in. Without emotional intimacy, it’s hard to build a real connection.
Tip: If he’s guarding his emotions, he might not be ready to go deep in the relationship.
11. His Future Plans Don’t Include You
If he’s talking about his future without mentioning you—whether it’s travel, career moves, or life goals—it’s a sign you’re not on his long-term radar. A guy who sees you in his future will naturally include you in those conversations.
Tip: If he’s not bringing you into his plans, he might not be thinking long-term.
12. He’s All About “Me, Me, Me”
In a real partnership, there is compromise and collaboration. If he always pushes for what he wants and never considers your needs, it shows a lack of commitment to the relationship. Relationships require give-and-take; if he’s not meeting you halfway, he’s not serious.
Tip: If compromise is a foreign concept to him, it’s a sign he’s more into himself than the relationship.
13. He Pulls Away After Intimacy
Does he get distant right after you’ve had an intimate moment? It might be because he’s uncomfortable with the vulnerability of closeness. A genuinely committed guy will lean into that connection, not retreat from it.
Tip: If he’s pulling back after you get close, it’s worth asking if he’s ready for the emotional depth of a real relationship.
14. He’s Always “Too Busy”
Sure, everyone has hectic schedules, but if he’s constantly using work, friends, or hobbies as an excuse to dodge quality time, it’s a red flag. When someone is genuinely committed, they make time for their partner, no matter how packed their schedule is. If you’re constantly rearranging your life to see him, it’s time to question his priorities.
Tip: If he’s always “too busy” for you, he might not be making the relationship a priority.
15. He’s All Talk, No Action
He might say all the right things—talking about the future, how much you mean to him—but when it comes down to showing up and putting in the effort, he falls short. Words are easy; real commitment comes through actions. His commitment might be more talk than reality if he’s making big promises but not following through.
Tip: Pay attention to actions, not just words. If he doesn’t back up his promises, it’s a sign that he’s not fully invested.
