15 Definite Signs Of Unconditional Love And How To Find It

15 Definite Signs Of Unconditional Love And How To Find It

Unconditional love is that pure, unwavering affection that transcends flaws, mistakes, and differences.

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It’s the kind of love we all yearn for, the love that makes us feel safe, accepted, and cherished for who we truly are. But what does unconditional love really look like, and how can we find it? Here are some definite signs that you’re experiencing or witnessing this rare gem.

1. Acceptance, not just tolerance, is the foundation.

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Unconditional love isn’t about gritting your teeth and tolerating someone’s quirks or shortcomings. It’s about fully accepting them, flaws and all, per MindBodyGreen. It’s recognizing that everyone has imperfections and loving them despite (and sometimes even because of) those imperfections. When you love someone unconditionally, you embrace their whole being, not just the parts that are easy to love.

2. Support flows freely, without expectations or conditions.

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Unconditional love means being there for someone through thick and thin, offering support and encouragement without expecting anything in return. It’s about celebrating their successes, comforting them in their failures, and cheering them on as they pursue their dreams. This kind of love isn’t transactional; it’s a gift given freely and generously.

3. Forgiveness is a given, not a bargaining chip.

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We all make mistakes, and unconditional love understands that. It doesn’t hold grudges or keep score. It forgives freely and completely, allowing for healing and growth. When you love someone unconditionally, you understand that their mistakes don’t define them, and you’re willing to let go of the past to create a brighter future together.

4. Honesty and open communication are valued above all else.

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Unconditional love thrives in an environment of honesty and open communication. It encourages you to share your thoughts and feelings openly, without fear of judgment or rejection. It values authenticity and vulnerability, knowing that true intimacy can only be achieved through honest communication.

5. Boundaries are respected, even when they’re inconvenient.

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Unconditional love doesn’t mean being a doormat or sacrificing your own needs and well-being. It recognizes the importance of healthy boundaries and respects them, even when it’s challenging or inconvenient. It understands that everyone has the right to say no and that self-care is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship.

6. There’s a deep sense of trust and security in the relationship.

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When you experience unconditional love, you feel safe and secure in the relationship. You know that you can be yourself, express your feelings, and share your vulnerabilities without fear of judgment or rejection. This deep sense of trust allows for a level of intimacy and connection that’s rare and precious.

7. The love feels expansive and unconditional.

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Unconditional love feels boundless and limitless. It’s not restricted by time, distance, or circumstance. It’s a love that expands and grows, encompassing all aspects of your being. When you love someone unconditionally, you feel a sense of connection that transcends the physical and emotional realms.

8. It inspires you to be a better person.

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Unconditional love has a transformative power. It inspires you to be the best version of yourself, to grow, learn, and evolve. It encourages you to step outside your comfort zone, face your fears, and pursue your dreams. When you’re loved unconditionally, you feel empowered to reach your full potential.

9. There’s a willingness to compromise and find solutions together.

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Unconditional love doesn’t mean always getting your way or having your partner agree with you on everything. It’s about finding common ground, respecting each other’s differences, and working together to find solutions that benefit both of you. It’s about valuing the relationship more than winning an argument or proving a point.

10. It celebrates individuality and encourages personal growth.

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Unconditional love doesn’t try to mold you into someone you’re not. It celebrates your unique personality, quirks, and passions. It encourages you to pursue your own interests and goals, even if they differ from those of your partner. This kind of love encourages independence and individuality, while also providing a safe and supportive space to grow and evolve.

11. It prioritizes quality time and meaningful connection.

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Unconditional love isn’t just about grand gestures or extravagant gifts. It’s about spending quality time together, engaging in meaningful conversations, and simply enjoying each other’s company. It’s about creating a deep and lasting connection that goes beyond the superficial and materialistic aspects of life.

12. It doesn’t try to fix or change you.

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Unconditional love accepts you for who you are, not who they want you to be. It doesn’t try to fix your flaws, change your personality, or mold you into a different person. Instead, it supports you in your journey of self-discovery and growth, encouraging you to be your most authentic self.

13. It’s a choice, not just a feeling.

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Unconditional love isn’t just a fleeting emotion; it’s a conscious choice to love someone deeply and completely, regardless of the circumstances. It’s a commitment to show up for them, support them, and cherish them, even when it’s challenging or inconvenient. It’s a decision to prioritize the relationship and invest in its growth, even when things get tough.

14. It’s a journey, not a destination.

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Unconditional love isn’t something you achieve overnight; it’s an ongoing journey of learning, growth, and connection. Per Psychology Today, it requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to work through challenges together. It’s about continually choosing to love each other, even when it’s not easy. It’s a lifelong commitment to building a relationship that’s based on trust, respect, and unwavering affection.

15. Finding unconditional love starts with loving yourself.

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The most important step in finding unconditional love is to first cultivate it within yourself. Learn to accept and appreciate your own flaws, forgive your past mistakes, and embrace your unique qualities. When you love yourself unconditionally, you’re more likely to attract and recognize that same kind of love from other people. It all starts with you.

Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.