15 Disturbing Phrases Narcissistic Partners Use to Control You

15 Disturbing Phrases Narcissistic Partners Use to Control You

Narcissists don’t argue like everyone else—they use manipulative language to control, confuse, and dominate. Their words might sound harmless, even reasonable, but they’re crafted to make you doubt yourself and second-guess your instincts. Here are 15 unsettling phrases narcissists use to throw you off balance and take control.

1. “Face it, you’re just jealous.”

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This phrase questions your motives, implying your concerns are rooted in jealousy rather than legitimate issues. It sidesteps accountability and redirects attention, making you feel petty or even paranoid for raising your concerns.

2. “Everyone thinks you’re crazy, you know?”

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By suggesting others are talking about you, they plant the idea that you’re isolated and judged. This phrase taps into fears of social rejection, leaving you questioning not only your own perspective but also your social standing.

3. “I can’t believe you’re bringing this up again.”

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This phrase might seem like simple frustration, but it’s actually designed to make you feel petty for even mentioning the issue. By implying you’re repetitive or fixated, it subtly tells you that your concerns aren’t worth discussing, making you question if you’re overreacting.

4. “I never knew you were that insecure.”

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This is a harsh attack on your vulnerability. By framing your concerns as insecurity, they make you feel weak or inadequate for even bringing it up, turning your feelings against you and making you feel like the issue lies with you, not their actions.

5. “You’re reading too much into this.”

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This tactic makes you question your own judgment, suggesting that you’re overreacting. By framing your feelings as an over-analysis, they maintain control of the narrative and make you doubt your own perceptions.

6. “Oh, so now you’re the victim?”

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This classic tactic diverts attention from the issue and onto your reaction, making it seem like you’re blowing things out of proportion. They downplay your experience, making you feel as though you’re overreacting or fishing for sympathy.

7. “I’m only telling you this for your own good.”

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Disguised as “concern,” this phrase allows them to chip away at your confidence under the guise of helpful advice. It creates the illusion they’re doing you a favor, but really, it’s just another way to control the narrative and keep you feeling small.

8. “Most people wouldn’t put up with this.”

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By implying they’re doing you a favor by tolerating you, they place themselves in a position of superiority. It makes you feel like they’re the “good guy” for putting up with you, twisting the situation so you feel grateful rather than questioning their behavior.

9. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.”

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This phrase is rooted in a narcissist’s belief in their own superiority. By declaring that they’re above explaining their actions, they shut down any attempt at accountability, leaving you feeling powerless to question them.

10. “You’re acting like a child right now.”

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Rather than addressing your concerns, this comment infantilizes you, casting doubt on your maturity and emotional stability. It’s meant to make you feel small, irrational, and less confident in speaking up about what’s bothering you.

11. “That’s your problem, not mine.”

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This cold, dismissive statement reinforces that they don’t care about your feelings. By making your concerns “your problem,” they dodge any responsibility and leave you to handle the emotional weight alone.

12. “Why do you always have to make me the bad guy?”

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This phrase subtly flips the script, turning you into the antagonist in your own confrontation. It makes you feel guilty for even pointing out a problem, as if bringing up issues is somehow unfair to them.

13. “Honestly, you’re lucky I even listen to this stuff.”

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With this phrase, they make you feel unworthy of their attention. By suggesting they’re doing you a favor just by listening, they trivialize your concerns and imply you’re a burden for even speaking up, effectively shutting down the conversation.

14. “This is why no one wants to be around you.”

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Hitting at your fear of rejection, this phrase places the blame on you for any social issues. It reinforces the idea that your concerns push people away, making you question whether you’re too “difficult” to be around.

15. “Do you seriously believe that?”

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This phrase questions your judgment, implying that your concerns are laughable. By making you feel naive for voicing them, the narcissist adds insult to injury, making you feel that your instincts are way off base.

This content was created by a real person with the assistance of AI.

Georgia is a passionate story-teller and accomplished lifestyle journalist based in New York City.