15 Etiquette Rules Southerners Love To Ignore

15 Etiquette Rules Southerners Love To Ignore

If you’ve ever spent time in the South, you know that Southerners have their own way of doing things. From their love of sweet tea to their penchant for monogramming everything, there’s no denying that the South has its own unique culture. But when it comes to etiquette, Southerners are known for playing by their own rules. Here are 15 etiquette rules that Southerners love to ignore, much to the chagrin of etiquette sticklers everywhere.

1. Using “ma’am” and “sir” sparingly

In the South, using “ma’am” and “sir” is a sign of respect, The Bitter Southerner notes, but it’s not something that’s thrown around lightly. Southerners reserve these titles for their elders or those in positions of authority, not every random person they encounter. So if you’re expecting to be called “ma’am” or “sir” by every Southern cashier or waiter, you might be in for a disappointment. In the South, respect is earned, not given out freely.

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2. Waiting for everyone to be seated before eating

friends at a massive dinner party

In the South, food is a big deal, and Southerners don’t like to wait. When the food is hot and ready, Southerners dive right in, even if Aunt Sally is still making her way to the table. Waiting for everyone to be seated before eating is seen as a formality that just gets in the way of enjoying a good meal. So if you find yourself at a Southern dinner table, don’t be surprised if people start chowing down before you’ve even unfolded your napkin.

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3. Keeping conversations light and superficial

Southerners are known for their hospitality and charm, but that doesn’t mean they’re always eager to engage in deep, meaningful conversations with strangers. In fact, Southerners often prefer to keep things light and superficial, especially when they’re first getting to know someone. Asking probing questions or delving into heavy topics right off the bat is seen as rude and invasive. Instead, Southerners prefer to stick to safe subjects like the weather, sports, and local gossip.

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4. Dressing up for every occasion

While Southerners are known for their love of fashion and style, they don’t believe in dressing up for every occasion. In fact, many Southerners take pride in their ability to look put-together and stylish in even the most casual of settings. Whether they’re running errands or attending a backyard barbecue, Southerners know how to make a pair of jeans and a t-shirt look chic. So if you’re expecting everyone at a Southern gathering to be decked out in their Sunday best, you might be overdressed.

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5. RSVPing promptly

In the South, RSVPing to an invitation is seen as more of a suggestion than a requirement. Southerners are notorious for waiting until the last minute to let the host know if they’ll be attending an event, or for showing up without having RSVPed at all. This laid-back approach to party planning can be frustrating for hosts who like to have a clear headcount, but for Southerners, it’s just part of the laid-back, go-with-the-flow attitude that defines their culture.

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6. Using a knife and fork for everything

man eating crawfish southern food

Southerners are all about comfort food, and that means eating with your hands, per Conde Nast Traveler. Whether it’s a piece of fried chicken, a biscuit, or a slice of watermelon, Southerners believe that some foods just taste better when you dig in with your fingers. Using a knife and fork for everything is seen as fussy and unnecessary, and Southerners aren’t afraid to get a little messy in the name of a good meal. Just make sure to have plenty of napkins on hand.

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7. Saving the last bite

In many parts of the world, it’s considered polite to save the last bite of food on your plate for the host or for someone else at the table. But in the South, cleaning your plate is a sign of appreciation and respect for the cook. Leaving food on your plate is seen as wasteful and ungrateful, and Southerners take pride in their ability to finish every last morsel. So if you’re dining with Southerners, don’t be afraid to go back for seconds (or thirds).

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8. Keeping your elbows off the table

Southerners are known for their laid-back, casual approach to dining, and that means they don’t put much stock in formal table manners. One rule that often goes out the window? Keeping your elbows off the table. In the South, putting your elbows on the table is seen as a sign of comfort and relaxation, not rudeness. So if you find yourself dining with Southerners, feel free to prop your elbows up and dig in.

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9. Arriving fashionably late

In many parts of the world, arriving fashionably late to a party or event is seen as a sign of sophistication and social savvy. But in the South, punctuality is key. Southerners believe that arriving on time (or even a few minutes early) is a sign of respect for the host and the event. Showing up late is seen as rude and inconsiderate, and it’s not uncommon for Southerners to start events right on time, even if not everyone has arrived yet.

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10. Keeping your hands to yourself

Southerners are known for their warm, friendly demeanor, and that often translates into a lot of physical affection. From hugs and kisses to back slaps and shoulder squeezes, Southerners aren’t afraid to show their love through touch. This can be a bit jarring for those who are used to a more reserved approach to personal space, but for Southerners, it’s just a way of showing that you’re part of the family.

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11. Sticking to a strict schedule

In the South, time is a fluid concept. Southerners believe in taking things slow and enjoying the moment, even if that means running a bit behind schedule. This laid-back approach to time can be frustrating for those who are used to a more regimented way of life, but for Southerners, it’s all about prioritizing people and experiences over arbitrary deadlines. So if you find yourself waiting on a Southern friend who’s running late, just relax and enjoy the extra time to chat and connect.

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12. Avoiding controversial topics

Southerners may be known for their charm and hospitality, but that doesn’t mean they’re afraid to speak their minds. In fact, Southerners are often quite opinionated, especially when it comes to politics, religion, and other hot-button issues. While some may see discussing controversial topics as impolite or divisive, Southerners believe in having honest, open conversations about the things that matter to them. Just be prepared for a lively debate if you bring up a contentious subject at a Southern gathering.

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13. Engaging in small talk

In many parts of the world, small talk is seen as a necessary part of social interaction, a way to break the ice and establish a connection with someone new. But in the South, small talk is often seen as a waste of time. Southerners prefer to cut to the chase and get to know someone on a deeper level right away. This can be a bit intimidating for those who are used to more superficial conversations, but for Southerners, it’s a way of showing that they value authentic connection over empty pleasantries.

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14. Sticking to a strict dress code

While Southerners are known for their love of fashion and style, they don’t believe in adhering to strict dress codes for every occasion. In fact, many Southerners take pride in their ability to mix high and low fashion, pairing designer pieces with vintage finds or casual basics. This eclectic approach to dressing is seen as a way of expressing one’s individuality and creativity, rather than conforming to arbitrary fashion rules. So if you find yourself at a Southern event, don’t be afraid to let your personal style shine through.

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15. Maintaining a sense of formality

Above all else, Southerners value authenticity and genuine connection. They believe in being true to oneself and building relationships based on honesty and trust. This means that they often eschew formality and pretense in favor of a more relaxed, down-to-earth approach to social interaction. Whether it’s using nicknames instead of titles or sharing personal stories right off the bat, Southerners prioritize realness over rules. So if you find yourself in the South, don’t be afraid to let your guard down and be yourself. Chances are, you’ll fit right in.

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Jeff graduated from NYU with a degree in Political Science and moved to Australia for a year before eventually settling back in Brooklyn with his yellow lab, Sunny, and his girlfriend, Mia. He works in IT during the day and writes at night. In the future, he hopes to publish his own novel.
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