15 Guys That Make Great Flings, But Terrible Boyfriends

Sadly, we live in the Age of Players. It’s a terrible time for women who want to have a committed partner, but it’s a wonderful era for girls who just want a quick fling. The good news is that those of us who are just looking for a hook-up have plenty of guys to choose from; the bad news is that many of those guys, especially the ones below, are only good for a fling.

  1. The Narcissist. Narcissists are incredible one-night stands. They’ll woo you and wine and dine you before it all goes down and the sex will sizzle. However, charming as they may be, narcissists almost always ruin your life long-term, so while the fling is good, a relationship with this dangerous person is a bad idea.
  2. The Gorgeous Idiot. Everyone knows that one guy who’s absolutely jawdroppingly gorgeous… and dumb as a bag of rocks. Real-life Derek Zoolanders do exist, and they can be amazing flings, not to mention wonderful eye candy. The problem is that dealing with a guy who has the survival skills of a dodo and the IQ of a 5-year-old is that he’ll constantly embarrass you when he tries to sound smart. Don’t you want to have a guy that doesn’t need 24/7 supervision as a boyfriend instead?
  3. The Gangster. He has tattoos, at least one gold tooth, and he probably carries a gun. He’s a real, true-to-life gangster. In terms of one night stands or brief flings, nothing can be quite as exhilarating as actually getting it on with someone who could be straight out of a noir novel. His volatile, animalistic personality means that sex will likely be passionate and memorable. Unfortunately, that same volatility doesn’t translate into good relationship material unless you want to deal with a guy who might cheat on you, hit you, or worse.
  4. The Player. He’s the neighborhood Lothario, and he’s got a reputation for being a great lay. The problem with players is that they never will settle for one woman, and that means there’s a good chance that you’re his side chick if you get with him (potentially one of many). This can also mean lots of drama, regardless of whether he’s just a fling or a boyfriend. Do you really need to deal with a guy who could be using you?
  5. The Pseudo-Celebrity. If you’re wise, you will never date someone who is involved in music, entertainment, or nightlife. The guys involved don’t usually have time for girls, tend to be terrible players, and often have no respect for women because they assume you’re a groupie. On the other hand, a quick fling with a DJ or rapper can be fun, and it can give you bragging rights. It’s best to stick to quick flings with these guys, though.
  6. Your Polar Opposite. Opposites can and do attract. When it works, the sex can feel like fireworks. In order to have a good long-term relationship, though, you’d need to have something in common. With this guy, you won’t find that.
  7. The Scene Guy. This guy is 27 years old, has tattoos all over his body, spends his nights at concerts, and has a job at Hot Topic. He’s hot, but has no “grown up” clothing or tendencies. It’s best to keep guys like this as just a fling. After all, you do want a man with a future, right?
  8. The Meathead. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with dating a gym rat, and the truth is that a lot of guys who hit the weights tend to have stunning bodies. That being said, not all gym rats are meatheads. Meatheads are the ones who spend tons of time and money on tans, body building competitions, steroids, and male grooming. They might be good flings if the steroids haven’t affected them down there, but it’s very difficult to date a guy who preens and primps more than you do.
  9. The Brooding Artist. If there’s one guy who has all the passionate volatility of the Gangster without the crime record, it’s the brooding artist. Much like the Gangster, sex with an artist is great because of how emotional it tends to be. Sadly, these guys tend to be slightly insane and are almost always broke, which makes them terrible boyfriends.
  10. The Anime Geek. Though many anime conventions have lead to great couplings, it’s smart to avoid anime geeks unless you’re looking for a quick fling. These guys go to conventions with the sole purpose of having sex. They aren’t interested in the content of the convention panels or even in the Artist’s Alley. It’s all about getting laid. They don’t like the idea of getting tied down, and often view girls as objects.  That same attitude makes for awful, commitment-phobic boyfriends.
  11. The Guy With No Motivation. If he’s cute, he might be a good fling. Unfortunately, he’s not exactly going to be motivated enough to go on dates, make money, or make a girl proud.
  12. Your Ex. If you broke up, it’s because he was a crappy boyfriend in one way or another. Whether he cheated on you or just didn’t see all you had to offer doesn’t matter. What matters is that he’s already proven that he sucks. If the sex was good, by all means, use him as a fling if you can handle it emotionally. If it was bad, why would you even bother?
  13. The Bro. He chugs beer like a mofo. He parties hard, and acts like he’s still living it up in the frat house. Truth be told, bros can be fun to have as quick flings. They can be hilarious, can party with the best of them, and sometimes even look good. Sadly, they tend to be very shallow, which in turn makes them nightmarish boyfriends.
  14. The Guy Who’s Always Traveling. One day, he’s in Baltimore, the next, he’s in Vancouver. Seeing him when he comes into town is great if you’re looking for an interesting fling with lots of tales to tell. On the other hand, this guy’s wanderlust will make date planning hellish, and there’s also a good chance that he might have girlfriends in other area codes, too. In other words, it’s not worth the risk.
  15. The Mama’s Boy. Mama’s boys can be great in bed thanks to the fact that their mothers raised them to be gentle to women. Unfortunately, she also raised them to be dependent on her for everything, and if you try to get between her and her boy, it will get ugly. Just keep it at a fling, and you’ll get out unscathed.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.