We’ve experienced feeling something is off when you talk to someone who seems super friendly, but you detect a hint of manipulation. They might act like they’re trying to build a connection, but if they use these phrases, there’s an ulterior motive.
1. “I can see where you’re coming from.”
It sounds like they’re on your side, but it’s all surface-level if they haven’t really engaged with what you’re saying. This line can make it seem like they understand when they’re just skimming over your experience. Proper understanding comes with effort, not blanket statements.
2. “We have so much in common.”
Sure, shared interests can bond people, but throwing this out too soon? It feels like a shortcut to connection. It’s often more about fast-tracking trust than genuinely finding common ground. Be wary when this pops up too early in a conversation.
3. “Experience teaches us a lot.”
They position themselves as the wise ones in the conversation. It’s a subtle way to dismiss what you’ve learned and push their worldview instead. Not everything has to be a lesson they’ve already mastered.
4. “You’ll get through this; I’ve faced similar challenges.”
On the surface, this seems supportive, but it often reduces your struggles to just another chapter in their book. It can feel dismissive like what you’re dealing with isn’t unique or worthy of deeper conversation.
5. “You’re too insightful to feel that way.”
This is tricky because it sounds like a compliment, but what it’s really doing is telling you your feelings aren’t valid. It’s a backhanded way of saying, “You should know better,” which can make you second-guess your emotions.
6. “You know what I mean, right?”
This phrase is about getting you to agree without understanding what’s being said. It pressures you into nodding, even if you don’t fully agree or grasp the point. It’s a sneaky way to bypass honest discussion.
7. “I can tell you’re trustworthy.”
Flattery, right? Not quite. By saying this, they’re subtly nudging you to open up and share more than you might be comfortable with. It’s an unearned compliment meant to fast-track your loyalty without building a genuine connection.
8. “It seems like we’re aligned on this.”
This is their way of pushing an agenda while making you feel like you’re already on the same page. It creates a false sense of unity, making it harder to voice dissent or express your true feelings.
9. “I understand what you’re going through.”
This sounds comforting but can shut down the conversation before it even starts. By claiming understanding too quickly, they’re signaling they don’t want to dig deeper into your emotions, which stops you from expressing your full experience.
10. “I see your perspective, but have you thought about…?”
That little “but” is where the manipulation lies. It shifts the conversation back to them, subtly undermining your thoughts. They might seem open-minded, but really, they’re steering the conversation toward their agenda.
11. “You’re part of a select group.”
This one plays on your need to feel special. It creates division by making you feel like you’re part of an exclusive club, alienating others, and fostering an “us vs. them” mentality. It’s not about unity—it’s about control.
12. “Let’s keep this just between us.”
This might feel like they’re letting you in on something private, but it’s often a tactic to isolate you. By sharing a “secret,” they’re building false intimacy while creating a sense of obligation to side with them.
13. “I appreciate your insights; they’re valuable.”
It sounds nice, but it can be a way of soothing you without actually taking your thoughts seriously. It gives the illusion of listening while they plan how to steer the conversation back to their agenda.
14. “We all have our struggles, right?”
This phrase tries to make your unique situation feel like just another common struggle. It glosses over the details and makes you feel like your challenges aren’t special or worthy of deeper attention, which can be frustrating.
15. “I wouldn’t think twice about your choices.”
This one’s a smooth way to sound supportive while making you second-guess yourself. Its focus is on getting you to justify your decisions, shifting the dynamic from open conversation to subtle judgment.