Okay, let’s talk about why your parents or grandparents keep rolling their eyes at modern dating apps and telling you stories about “the good old days.” Sure, we might chuckle at some of their old-school dating rules, but they swear up and down that courting back then was way better than our swipe-right culture. Let’s dive into why the Boomer generation thinks their approach to romance had something special going for it.
1. You Had to Be Present
There were no phones to hide behind when the conversation got awkward—you had to actually talk to each other and work through those nervous moments. Boomers say this forced presence meant you got to know someone’s real personality much faster, including how they handled social situations. They’ll tell you about how you could tell a lot about someone by how they interacted with waiters or handled unexpected situations. Without the constant distraction of notifications and social media updates, they had to focus on the person right in front of them and actually give them their full attention.
2. The Dress Code Meant Business
Going on a date meant actually dressing up, not just throwing on whatever was clean and calling it good. Your grandmother will tell you stories about carefully chosen outfits, polished shoes, and looking your absolute best because it showed respect for both yourself and your date. Guys would show up in pressed shirts and often with a small gift like flowers or chocolates, while girls would spend time doing their hair and makeup just right. Boomers swear this effort in appearance reflected a deeper commitment to making the date special. They’ll tell you that when both people made an effort to look their best, it set a tone of mutual respect and importance for the whole evening.
3. Intentions Were Usually Clear
Dating typically had a more clear-cut purpose—people were usually looking for a potential marriage partner, not just someone to hang out with. Boomers say this clarity meant less time wasted trying to figure out what the other person wanted or where things were going. They’ll tell you that while this might sound intense by today’s standards, it actually made things simpler in many ways. The “What are we?” conversation wasn’t usually necessary because both parties generally understood the end goal of courting.
4. Family Was Involved from the Start
Meeting the parents wasn’t something that happened six months into dating—it often happened on the first date when the guy came to pick up his date. Boomers insist this early family involvement meant everyone was on their best behavior and took the relationship more seriously from the start. They say having parents involved (even if just hovering in the background) helped maintain certain standards and boundaries. Plus, they argue that seeing how someone interacted with their family—and how their family treated you— gave you valuable insights into their character and background.
5. The Mystery Factor Was Real
Without social media, you couldn’t stalk someone’s entire life history before meeting them—you had to actually get to know them through conversation. Boomers love pointing out how this created genuine mystery and excitement as you gradually discovered things about each other. They say there was something special about learning about someone’s interests, past experiences, and dreams directly from them rather than from their Instagram feed. Every date was an opportunity to uncover something new about the person, making the getting-to-know-you phase much more engaging and personal.
6. The Exclusivity Was Understood
Dating multiple people at once wasn’t really a thing—when you were “going steady” with someone, that meant something. Boomers say this understood exclusivity meant you could focus on getting to know one person without worrying about competing with their other matches. They’ll tell you that while this might seem limiting by today’s standards, it actually made relationships feel more secure and meaningful. The commitment to seeing where things went with one person at a time meant you gave each relationship a real chance to develop.
7. PDA Was Actually Special
Public displays of affection were much more modest, which Boomers say made small gestures feel more meaningful. Holding hands in public was a big deal, and a kiss goodnight on the porch was something to look forward to. They’ll tell you that this restraint made each little touch feel more electric and exciting. The fact that couples weren’t all over each other in public meant that intimate moments felt more special and private.
8. The Art of the Phone Call
Boomers will tell you there was something way more personal about hearing someone’s voice shake with nerves than getting a “hey” text at 11 PM. They had to plan their calls strategically, usually during specific “calling hours,” and actually think about what they wanted to say beforehand. There was no hiding behind emojis or taking twenty minutes to craft the perfect response—you had to be genuine and think on your feet. Plus, they say those butterflies you got when the phone rang and you hoped it was “them” were way more exciting than any dating app notification.
9. They Had to Meet Through Real Connections
None of this swiping through hundreds of strangers—people usually met through friends, family, church, or community events. Boomers will tell you this built-in vetting system meant you already had some common ground and shared values before the first date. Your Aunt Mary wouldn’t set you up with just anybody, and you definitely didn’t have to worry about whether their profile pictures were from this decade. They say this “six degrees of separation” approach meant you were more likely to find someone who fit into your world naturally. The pressure was also on your mutual connections to make good matches, since they’d have to deal with the fallout if things went south.
10. Dates Actually Required Planning
No last-minute “u up?” texts here—dates were planned events that showed real effort and thought. Someone had to call ahead, make actual reservations, and commit to a specific time and place (and stick to it, since there was no texting to say you’re running late). Boomers love pointing out how this planning phase showed that both people were invested in making the date happen. They’ll tell you stories about guys checking their cars twice to make sure they wouldn’t break down, or girls spending the whole day getting ready with their friends. Plus, they say the anticipation of waiting for a planned date was half the fun.
11. Group Dates Were Actually Fun
Double dates and group outings were common and served as a great way to see how your potential partner interacted with others. Boomers reminisce about sock hops, drive-in movies, and diner hangouts where groups of couples would spend time together. They’ll tell you these group settings took some of the pressure off while still allowing couples to have their own special moments. Plus, they say having friends around meant you got honest opinions about your date from people who cared about you.
12. Letters and Notes Had Real Meaning
Instead of quick texts or emojis, people wrote actual letters and notes to express their feelings. Boomers will get misty-eyed talking about finding handwritten notes in their lockers or receiving letters during summer breaks. They’ll tell you there was something incredibly personal about seeing someone’s handwriting and knowing they took the time to put their thoughts on paper. Many still have boxes of these old love letters tucked away somewhere, which they say mean way more than a screenshot of a sweet text ever could.
13. You Had to Get Creative with Communication
Without instant messaging or social media, couples had to find creative ways to show they were thinking of each other throughout the day. Boomers love sharing stories about special signals, like walking past someone’s house at a certain time or calling and letting the phone ring twice. They say these little codes and signals felt more special and personal than just sending a quick text. Plus, they’ll tell you that having to wait to share your thoughts made the moments when you could talk feel more valuable.
14. Parents Set Actual Boundaries
Having a curfew and house rules might sound lame, but Boomers say these boundaries actually helped relationships develop in a healthy way. They’ll tell you about having to get creative within these limits and how it made time together feel more precious. Parents acting as chaperones might seem old-fashioned now, but they insist it helped prevent situations from going too far too fast. Plus, they say having to respect these boundaries showed character and commitment to the relationship.
15. Word Spread Fast (In a Good Way)
In smaller communities, your reputation as a date really mattered, which Boomers say made people behave better and treat each other with more respect. They’ll tell you stories about how quickly word would spread if someone was a gentleman or… not so much. This community awareness meant people were more likely to be on their best behavior and think about the long-term consequences of their actions. They also say this accountability helped weed out the not-so-great potential partners pretty quickly.
