15 Reasons The Idea Of Marriage Is Scary AF

When you’re madly in love with someone, marriage seems like a great idea, but when you really stop to think about it, promising to spend the rest of your life with just one person is scary AF—here’s why:

  1. It’s not easy to get out of itYou can always end a marriage but then you have to go through the ordeal of a divorce. Ugh. At least when you’re not married, you can always just walk out the door when you discover your partner is cheating or doing some other horrible thing and never look back.
  2. Divorce shows you someone’s real personality. Loads of marriages end in divorce—almost half, actually. What’s scarier than that? You never know just how bad your divorce will be. As they say, divorce shows you who your partner really is. He might become a hostile, jealous, and vindictive person.
  3. Marriage changes a lot of people. There’s no doubt that both you and your partner will change over the years. But what if the change is really shocking? What if your partner just takes you for granted once you’re hitched and doesn’t make much of an effort? What if he tells you that he’s no longer attracted to you? We’ve all heard the horror stories.
  4. You take on your partner’s drama. It’s easy to walk away from a boyfriend who’s got loads of drama, but not a husband. You promised to love, honor and deal with drama. It might not be in your vows but it’s a marriage disclaimer.
  5. The sex could become boring. Once you’ve moved past the mental hurdle of this person being the last person you ever, ever sleep with again in your whole life, there’s the issue of sex changing when you get older. You have to work extra hard to keep it hot and spicy, and that’s not always easy.
  6. Your partner could let himself go. Of course you’re both going to let yourselves go a little because marriage is so comfortable, but what if he takes this to another level? What if he stops showering or shaving and puts on 100 pounds? Yikes.
  7. Your career could suffer. One of the scariest things about marriage is that it has to be a priority in your life if you’re going to make it work. This certainly doesn’t mean everything else in your life has to take a backseat, but sometimes it happens. What if you get an amazing career opportunity across the world, but your partner doesn’t want to go? What if you get a promotion that means you’ll be working harder and longer hours, and this puts pressure on your marriage? Being married means you have to take your partner into account on every big decision that used to be up to you and you alone.
  8. You could lose yourself. Changing your name is just the start of how you’ll change. Soon, you could end up losing everything about your life from before your marriage, like your social life and single-girl nights on the town, and your crazy hobbies. Marriage is such a big part of your life. You have to work hard to be sure that you don’t lose everything else that’s important to you.
  9. You could fail. What if you fail at marriage? What if you mess it up big time and discover you’re a really terrible person to marry? It can happen. Failure is never easy to deal with, but it’s even tougher to handle when it concerns one of the biggest life decisions ever. No pressure.
  10. Your partner could settle. A study by Siemens Festival nights found that 73 percent of people who are married settled for their partners. As for people who claim that they married the love of their life, they’re sadly in the minority. Great. You might not settle, but how will you know that your partner hasn’t?
  11. Some people get hitched for the wrong reasons. Some people do it because they feel pressured by society. Others do it for money or so that they won’t be lonely. Hell no. You have a pure idea of marriage and want to do it because you love someone and want to share the journey of life with them. But then, is marriage really necessary for that to happen? Hmmm.
  12. You’ll miss being single. Those amazing nights lying around in your PJs stuffing your face with chocolate brownies, or going out on the town dressed to kill and flirt with the hottest guys or even just having your space and independence intact. You’ll be sure to miss that a lot and what if you miss single life so much that you realize you’re actually not keen to be married… after you’re married? Ugh.
  13. He might not be Mr. RightHe might’ve made an amazing boyfriend and fiancé, but how can you really know that he’ll make an amazing husband for the rest of your life? It’s impossible to know for sure. There’s also the chance that he’s right for you now, but won’t be the person you really need in 10 or 20 years. Just think of the guy you dated five years ago and how you wouldn’t dream of being with him now. Yikes, the same thing could happen with your husband!
  14. You could waste years of your life. If your marriage fails in 30 or 40 years time, you’re going to hit the single life again. How freaky would that be?! You dread becoming one of those old people you see on dating apps, trying their luck to find yet another soul mate. Even worse than that is the thought that you could waste some of your best years on a guy who turns out to be a douchebag.
  15. Marriage doesn’t guarantee commitment. If it did, so many marriages wouldn’t end. Just because it feels good that your boyfriend wants to take that giant milestone with you, it doesn’t mean it’s necessarily going to make you grow closer or stay committed. And it definitely won’t make you happy. If you’re hoping it will complete you, then you shouldn’t get married because you’ll just be disappointed AF.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.