At some point, you’ve probably dated more than one person at the same time – and the guys you’ve dated have more than likely done the same. You could be seeing Dylan every Friday night, but also spending your Wednesdays with Shawn. You may call up Joe when you want to grab a drink but invite Brent over when you want to stay in and watch a movie. This has become a reality of dating in the 21st century, and while no one wants to know that the person they’re seeing has other options in the running, playing the field may not be such a bad idea.
It’s the perfect in-between after a long term relationship. Did a rebound relationship ever work out for anyone? When you get out of one commitment, the last thing you want to do is jump into another. But you still have needs both, physical and emotional. Playing the field gives you a chance to figure out exactly what you’re looking for in a long term commitment while still being able to connect emotionally and sexually with other guys.
You learn a lot about yourself. Different people bring out different qualities in you. Maybe you didn’t know that you’re intimidated by someone who makes more money than you, that you get jealous of guys who are friends with their ex-girlfriends, or that you actually really need to have a couple days a week to yourself or you’ll go crazy. When you’re dating several people, they’re not the only ones you’re learning about.
Guys are doing it, too. Why make a guy your priority if all you are to him is an option? Chances are, the guys you’re dating are dating other girls, as well. If you get too invested in one guy, you’ll be devastated if he chooses someone else. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
You won’t put up with BS. If you’re seeing multiple people, you’ll be less likely to put up with a guy who’s canceling on you, a guy who is treating you poorly, or a guy who is anything less than you deserve. If he won’t give you the attention you’re looking for, one of the others will.
You’ll figure out what you want. How can you know what you’re looking for if you’ve never experienced it? Being with a lawyer may sound great in your head, but how do you know that’s what you want if you’ve never actually been with one? If you’ve never been with a sensitive guy, how do you know that’s not the type of person you want to be with? Until you’ve dated around, you can never be too sure what works for you and what doesn’t.
You’ll get more of your needs fulfilled. Different men fulfill different needs. Finding the perfect person is tough, but you can easily find all kinds of satisfaction when you’re playing the field. You may call Michael when you’re horny, Bradley when you want to have an intelligent conversation and Jonathan when you’re looking to confide in someone.
You’ll be less clingy. You won’t need to see or talk to them every day because you have other options. If one can’t hang out one week, you know there are others who will be available.
You won’t settle. You’ll never find yourself thinking this must be as good as it gets. You’ll know what else is out there. You may still be dating multiple guys who don’t have it all but you’ll know certain qualities DO exist. And you’ll have no problem waiting until you find it.
You won’t take rejection so hard. If it doesn’t work out with one, it’s not the end of the world. Jack, Bill and Ryan are still interested.
You can focus on yourself. With no commitment to a guy, you have more time to do the things you want. You won’t feel bad when you go on a trip with your girls for two weeks or when you sign up for a course that takes up your weekends. You can take that job in another province and you don’t have to worry about his family dinners taking you away from your Friday night spin class.
You come across as less available. What guy wants a girl who is available all the time? Have you ever noticed that as soon as a guy realizes how busy you are, he’ll start planning dates in advance instead of asking you out as a last resort the day of? Most guys want a girl who has hobbies and is busy doing other things. He doesn’t have to know that yesterday’s hike was with a guy.
The guys you’re dating will step up their game. Guys are competitive by nature. Once he knows there are other men vying for your attention, his lame date ideas aren’t going to cut it. As soon as he knows you could easily drop him for someone else, he’s going to put in more of an effort to make sure you’re the one he chooses.
You’ll gain valuable dating experience. How many times have you been turned off or ran away from a guy because he wasn’t experienced? Chances are, you value a guy who has dated enough people to know what he wants, who can deal with all kinds of awkward dating situations, who has slept with enough girls to be comfortable in bed and who is full of fun date ideas. By playing the field, you make sure you bring this experience to the table as well.
It’s a great way to network. Okay, so maybe your date didn’t work out romantically, but someone you’re seeing may have a job opportunity for you, he could know someone in another country that you’re traveling to who he can connect you with, or even refer you to a new doctor in your area. There’s never anything wrong with meeting and getting to know new people.
It’s fun. And why would you ever turn down a good time?
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