15 Reasons You’re Still Single That Are Totally Within Your Control

15 Reasons You’re Still Single That Are Totally Within Your Control ©iStock/StudioThreeDots

So, you’ve been single for a while. While your friends go on hayrides with their boyfriends or spend date nights out on the town, you’re stuck eating TV dinners on the couch while watching Orange is the New Black. Being single isn’t so bad as long as you’re happy being there, but if you can’t figure out why you’re still rolling solo, check out this list of ways you might be holding yourself back from finding love.

  1. You never make the first move. Don’t rely on the guys to make the first move. It’s just as hard for them as it would be for you. If there’s a guy you like, just ask him out or you may miss him.
  2. You’re too comfortable being alone. You’ve been single for so long that you don’t know anything else. But you aren’t single because you like it, you’re just single because you’ve gotten far too comfortable. Get out of the house!
  3. You’re too picky. Yes, there is such a thing as being too picky. While you should be selective with who you date and only stay with guys you really have feelings for, no one will check off every single box on your list of qualifications. That fairy tale prince probably doesn’t exist.
  4. You’re working on yourself right now. Taking time to work on yourself? Great! Keep up the good work and wait to date until you’re ready.
  5. You aren’t putting yourself out there. You’re never going to find love if you’re never around potential boyfriends. It’s not like he’s just going to knock on your door and introduce himself (unless you have a thing for the UPS guy).
  6. You’re waiting for the right relationship. As they say, being single is better than being in a bad relationship. Never choose a bad situation just because you’re lonely.
  7. You’re afraid you’ll get hurt. You’ve had your heart broken in the past. You’re afraid it will happen again. But here’s the thing: While there’s always a chance you’ll get hurt, if you never put yourself out there, you’ll never be open to the good stuff either.
  8. You aren’t showing off your best self. All the guys are turning you down? Remember to show off your best self. Smile, dress in a flattering way and be friendly. If you slouch, frown and only ever wear Cheeto-dust-coated sweatpants, no wonder you’re still single.
  9. You aren’t going where the guys are. You aren’t on any dating sites. You only hang out with your married friends. If you really want a relationship, put yourself where the guys are.
  10. You’re not changing up your tactics. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over but expecting different results. If you spend your weekends at the bar and only end up meeting skeevy douches, best hang up that spangled club dress and try something new.
  11. You aren’t asking for help. Having a hard time meeting guys? It’s time to ask your friends. Tell your buds that you’re looking to be set up and you’re likely to have a flood of dates in no time.
  12. You’re not ready to move on. Yeah, it’s been a year since he cheated on you and you threw him out on his ass… but it still hurts. You still think about him. It’s best to get over that first before trying to start something new.
  13. You don’t know what you want. Do you like the bad boy or the good guy? Do you want a lasting relationship or a one-night-stand? If you can’t answer these questions, you’re not ready.
  14. Your self-esteem is low. You think no guys will ever like you. You bristle at the idea of putting up a dating profile because you probably wouldn’t get responses anyway. Is this your attitude? Girl, you’re amazing, so quit thinking otherwise. There’s someone for everyone, even you. Work on yourself before you try to date. The happier you are with yourself, the happier you’ll be in a relationship.
  15. You’re perfectly happy being alone. Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being single. If you’re happy this way, why mess with a good thing?
Trisha is a full time writer living in Montana. In her free time, she paints mountainscapes on her skin with body paint and reads a ton of YA lit.