15 Reasons You’ve Spent Your Life Trying To Keep Up With The Jones’

15 Reasons You’ve Spent Your Life Trying To Keep Up With The Jones’

It’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to keep up with the Joneses, especially in today’s world, where social media flaunts everyone’s best moments and possessions. But why do so many of us feel compelled to measure our worth against others, the reasons might surprise you.

1. You Need Constant Social Validation

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In a world where likes and shares seem to measure our value, it’s understandable to crave social validation. This hunger for approval can often lead us to compare our lives with those around us. We see someone buying a new car or posting luxurious vacation photos, and suddenly, our comfortable existence feels subpar. According to Simplable, social validation refers to the tendency to conform to others’ opinions and behaviors to gain acceptance and approval. This desire for validation can drive people to compare themselves to others and seek external approval, often through social media likes and shares.

Even though the likes and comments might give you a temporary boost, it’s a fleeting form of happiness. Instead, focusing on building genuine connections and finding joy in personal achievements can offer longer-lasting contentment. Ask yourself, “Whose opinion truly matters to me?” Chances are, it’s not the people who hit the like button on your social media posts. By redirecting your focus inward, you might find that the need to keep up with the Joneses diminishes.

2. You Have Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

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Fear of missing out is a powerful motivator that can drive us to emulate the Joneses. When your peers engage in certain activities or acquire certain items, it’s easy to feel left out if you’re not doing the same. This fear can compel you to make impulsive decisions just to feel included. Whether it’s attending the latest event or purchasing the newest gadget, the anxiety of being left behind can override rational judgment. According to Verywell Mind, FOMO is the fear or perception that others are having more fun, living better lives, or experiencing better things than you are. This anxiety can lead to constant comparison and the need to keep up with others’ activities and possessions.

However, this constant chase can be exhausting and mentally draining. Instead of succumbing to FOMO, consider embracing JOMO—the joy of missing out. By accepting that it’s okay to not be involved in every trend, you allow yourself the freedom to enjoy your own pace of life. Plus, stepping back gives you the opportunity to discover what truly brings you happiness without societal pressure clouding your judgment.

3. You’re Highly Competitive By Nature

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Some people are naturally competitive, and this trait can extend beyond sports and games into everyday life. You might find yourself in an unspoken competition with neighbors, friends, or colleagues, each trying to one-up the other. This competitive nature can spur you to keep up with the Joneses as a way of ‘winning’ in the social arena. You might believe that having more or better things positions you as more successful than those around you. According to Psychology Today, competitiveness is a personality trait that varies among people and can extend beyond sports into everyday life. This innate drive to compete can fuel the desire to keep up with or surpass others in various aspects of life.

On the flip side, this mindset can lead to a never-ending race with no real winner. Competing in this way often results in superficial satisfaction, as there’s always someone else who has more. A healthier approach is to focus on personal growth and self-improvement. Competing against yourself to become the best version of you is far more fulfilling and achievable than trying to outdo everyone else.

4. You Feel Societal Pressure Deeply

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Society often sets unspoken standards about what a ‘successful’ life looks like, and these can heavily influence our choices. From owning a house to having a picture-perfect family, these societal benchmarks can pressure you into conforming. The pressure to meet these expectations can make you feel like you have no choice but to keep up with the Joneses. According to the American Psychological Association, societal pressure refers to the expectations and norms imposed by society that can influence individual behavior and choices. These pressures can create a sense of obligation to conform to certain lifestyle standards.

However, societal expectations are not one-size-fits-all. What’s important is creating a life that aligns with your values and goals, rather than trying to fit into a mold that doesn’t suit you. Reflect on what truly matters to you—whether it’s career success, family, or personal happiness—and prioritize that over external pressures. By doing so, you may find greater fulfillment and peace of mind.

5. You’re Influenced by Ads And Media

The media and advertising industries are designed to make you want more—more products, more experiences, more everything. Advertisements often show aspirational lifestyles that make us feel like we’re missing out. This constant exposure can make keeping up with the Joneses seem like a necessity rather than a choice. The underlying message is that you need the latest and greatest to be happy or respected.

Understanding the psychology behind advertising can help you resist its pull. Realize that these tactics are designed to evoke an emotional response, not necessarily to meet your needs. By developing a critical eye and questioning the necessity of purchases, you can take control of your spending habits and focus on what truly adds value to your life.

6. You’re An Insecure Person

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Insecurity can be a significant driving force behind the need to keep up with the Joneses. When you’re unsure of your worth, you might look to external validation to fill the void. Acquiring things that others have becomes a way to mask underlying insecurities or boost self-esteem. It’s easier to measure your worth through possessions than to confront and resolve personal insecurities.

However, material possessions seldom solve deeper emotional issues. It’s crucial to address the root of your insecurities rather than seeking temporary fixes through consumption. Engaging in self-reflection, therapy, or personal development activities can help build a healthy self-image. As your confidence grows, the desire to compare yourself to others will likely diminish.

7. You Lack Basic Self-Awareness

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Sometimes, people fall into the trap of keeping up with the Joneses simply because they haven’t taken the time to understand what truly makes them happy. Without self-awareness, it’s easy to adopt other people’s dreams as your own. You might feel compelled to chase after things because everyone else is doing it, without questioning if it’s what you truly want.

Increasing self-awareness can help you differentiate between your desires and societal norms. Spend time reflecting on what brings you joy and satisfaction. This might involve journaling, meditation, or simply taking quiet moments for introspection. With better self-awareness, you can make choices that align with your true self, rather than following others blindly.

8. You Don’t Feel Emotionally Fulfilled

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For some, acquiring possessions or achieving certain milestones provides a sense of emotional satisfaction. This satisfaction can mimic happiness, leading you to believe that keeping up with the Joneses is the key to a fulfilling life. The thrill of a new purchase or the pride in matching someone else’s success can be intoxicating.

However, this emotional high is usually short-lived. True happiness often comes from within, from relationships, personal achievements, and meaningful experiences. Try shifting the focus from material possessions to emotional connections and personal growth. This change in mindset can lead to more sustainable happiness and lessen the need to compare yourself to others.

9. You’re Trying to Conform To Cultural Expectations

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Cultural norms and expectations can also play a significant role in the desire to keep up with the Joneses. In some cultures, there’s immense pressure to present a certain image or attain specific milestones by a certain age. Whether it’s owning a home, getting married, or achieving career success, these expectations can drive you to match what others have accomplished.

It’s essential to recognize that cultural expectations don’t have to dictate your life choices. Start by understanding where these pressures originate and question whether they align with your personal values. Cultivating an independent mindset allows you to make decisions based on what truly resonates with you. Embracing your unique path can be liberating and empower you to break free from societal comparisons.

10. You’re A Bit Of A Green-eyed Monster

Prostock-studio/ShutterstockEnvy can be a powerful emotion that contributes to the need to keep up with the Joneses. When you see someone else enjoying success or possessions you desire, envy can lead to feelings of inadequacy. To counter these feelings, you might strive to acquire similar things or achieve comparable success.

While envy is a natural emotion, it’s essential to channel it constructively. Use it as a motivator to set personal goals, rather than as a catalyst for unhealthy comparisons. Focus on self-improvement and celebrate your achievements. Practicing gratitude for what you have can also help diminish envy and foster a sense of contentment with your life.

11. You’re A People Pleaser And Succumb To Peer Pressure

The influence of peers can significantly impact your desire to keep up with the Joneses. When your friends or colleagues are constantly upgrading their lives, it’s easy to feel the pressure to do the same. Peer influence can make you believe that certain achievements or possessions are necessary for acceptance or respect within your social circle.

However, true friendships should not be based on material possessions. Evaluate whether your peers’ values align with your own and whether their influence is positive or negative. Surrounding yourself with people who support and respect you for who you are—not what you have—can alleviate the pressure to keep up. By fostering genuine relationships, you can focus on authentic connections rather than superficial comparisons.

12. You’ve Made A Habit Out Of It

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Sometimes, keeping up with the Joneses becomes a habit rather than a conscious choice. You might find yourself automatically striving for more because it’s what you’ve always done. This habitual behavior can stem from past experiences, upbringing, or long-ingrained beliefs about success and happiness.

Breaking free from this habit requires mindfulness and intentionality. Start by becoming aware of your actions and questioning the motivations behind them. Are you making choices based on genuine desires or out of habit? By cultivating mindfulness, you can make more deliberate decisions that align with your values, ultimately reducing the instinct to keep up with others.

13. You Crave Status And Admiration

For some, the desire for status and recognition is a driving force behind keeping up with the Joneses. Acquiring certain possessions or reaching specific milestones can symbolize success and elevate your social standing. This desire can lead you to pursue things you might not genuinely need or want.

Understanding that status doesn’t equate to happiness is crucial. True fulfillment often comes from within, from meaningful relationships and personal growth. Instead of seeking validation through status symbols, focus on building a life that aligns with your values and goals. This shift in perspective can lead to more authentic happiness and reduce the need to compare yourself to others.

14. You Have A Weird Relationship With Money

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A lack of financial literacy can contribute to the pressure to keep up with the Joneses. Without a solid understanding of personal finance, it’s easy to fall into the trap of living beyond your means to match others’ lifestyles. The allure of credit cards and financing options can make it tempting to acquire things you can’t afford.

Improving your financial literacy can empower you to make informed decisions and live within your means. Educate yourself about budgeting, saving, and investing. By taking control of your finances, you can prioritize long-term goals over short-term comparisons. Financial stability and security often bring more peace of mind than keeping up with others.

15. You’ve Fallen For The Illusion Of Happiness

The belief that keeping up with the Joneses will lead to happiness is a common misconception. Society often equates success with happiness, leading you to chase after things in the hope of attaining fulfillment. However, this pursuit often results in temporary satisfaction rather than genuine happiness.

Recognize that happiness is a personal journey, not a checklist of achievements. True contentment often comes from within, from relationships, personal growth, and experiences. By focusing on these aspects, you can find fulfillment in your unique path. Embrace the idea that happiness isn’t found in comparisons, but in living a life true to yourself.

Georgia is a passionate story-teller and accomplished lifestyle journalist originally from Australia, now based in New York City. She writes lifestyle content for Bolde Media, publishers of Bolde, Star Candy and Earth Animals.