15 Relationship Moves You’ll End Up Regretting

Relationships require hard work and commitment if they’re going to last, and it’s likely that you’ll make mistakes along the way. You’re human, so it’s only natural, and it’s not the end of the world. That being said, there are certain relationship moves you should never pull, because you’ll only regret them down the road.

1. Not saying how you actually feel. Obviously, you should tell the person you love how you feel about them, otherwise you’re going to be left wondering “what if” for the rest of your life. However, this mistake can also be something along the lines of not telling your S.O. that you really don’t like the way they’re treating you, or that you really don’t like the way their friends talk about you. Tactful communication is key, and if you can’t master that, you’re probably doing yourself and your relationship a huge disservice.
2. Ignoring red flags. Most seriously messed up people will have a couple of glaring red flags within the first six months of you dating them. If they’re already sending out red flags that early on, then you can bet things are going to be way worse when you’re committed on a deeper level. Don’t ignore those warning signs. If you see something seriously wrong, get out. It’s better to be safe than sorry on these things.
3. Letting your partner get in the way of having friends or family around. It’s different if your family actively hates and attacks your S.O. for no reason, but most of the time, that’s not what’s happening. If you notice that your ex is getting increasingly focused on keeping you alone, you need to stand up to them — or better yet, leave. You should never feel isolated from the people that matter.
4. Issuing an ultimatum. Ultimatums will have one of two effects: either your partner will do as you say and resent you, or they’ll leave. They aren’t healthy, and they aren’t a power dynamic you want to have play out in your relationship. If you have to give an ultimatum, then you should leave. Having to use such a heavy hand to get your way says a lot about how unhealthy your relationship already is.
5. Cheating. Don’t be that person. Seriously, if you’re so tempted to get some action from someone other than your current S.O., just break up. It’s the right thing to do, and honestly, you’re cutting the drama short by breaking it off.
6. Talking crap about your significant other to friends and family. YNo matter how much you love them, your signification other will have issues that will drive you up the wall once in a while. This is normal, but people won’t think it’s normal if all you ever do is talk about how much you hate being with that person. If you want your partner to have a halfway decent relationship with your family and friends, ZIP IT.
7. Lying about major issues and goals. Saying that you want kids when you don’t, or that you are religious when you’re not, is a good way to set up a potentially good relationship to fail. Similarly, just agreeing that you don’t want a relationship when you really do is a good way to get yourself hurt.
8. Staying in a relationship where your partner doesn’t respect you or see your feelings as valid. This is also known as staying in an abusive relationship. You’ll learn that staying won’t make things better, and if anything, it will make things worse as time passes.
9. Having a third party have too much sway in your relationship. When you allow a third person to dictate your relationship with your significant other, you’re showing your partner that they aren’t your number one. When you repeatedly put a certain friend or family member’s needs above your S.O.’s, you can rest assured that your days as a couple are numbered.
10. Stonewalling. This is also known as refusing to discuss anything with your partner, especially when they try to broach subjects with you. If you refuse to communicate with them in a meaningful way, your partner will eventually shut down and leave. Even if stonewalling is easy in the short run, it’s never good in the long run.
11. Tossing your boundaries out the window. Boundaries are healthy to have. Know where you draw the line and enforce your limits when people try to push them.
12. Lashing out at a date for rejecting you. Want to get a reputation as a psycho? This is how you do it. It’s also a good way to ruin any future chances with that person again.
13. Having a “band-aid” baby. If you’re having problems in your relationship, the worst possible thing you can do is have a baby, and this is especially true if the other person’s not fully on board with it. If you want to make your soon-to-be ex regret ever dating you (and really screw your child up, to boot), this is a good way to do it.
14. Forgetting to show appreciation for your lover, or refusing to put in work for your relationship. Because nothing drives away love like being taken for granted.
15. Slamming someone after they hurt you romantically. Revenge can be sweet, but in all honesty, it’s generally not good for anyone involved. A normal, decent human being would definitely call them out on it, but they wouldn’t go out of their way to hurt you. When you slam someone, particularly in a brutal fashion without having tried to talk it out beforehand, you end up looking worse than the person you tried to hurt.