15 Sexual Fantasies That Are More Common Than You Think

We live in a society that holds sex as one of its greatest taboos, which means that even when we read about our fantasies, it’s quite possible that we don’t realize how common they really are. If we were to be brutally honest about it, most people have fantasies that go beyond simple missionary position. You might be shocked to hear it, but the following fantasies are actually pretty commonplace among both men and women:

  1. Being dominated or dominating. This is, without a doubt, the most common sexual fantasy out there. Some people prefer to take charge, others prefer to submit, and plenty fantasize about both situations. Domination and submission are the cornerstones of almost all BDSM fetishes, and that means that there’s a lot of ways that this fantasy can be acted out.
  2. Roleplay. The neat thing about roleplay is that it can involve domination and submission if you want, but by no means is it exclusive to BDSM. It can be anything from having a partner pretend to be a knight in shining armor to pretending to get kidnapped by a sexy bandit. Roleplay is so common, almost everybody has tried it at least once.
  3. Threesomes. It’s a fantasy, and at times, it’s also put into action. There’s something innately erotic, hot, and edgy about having two people pleasuring you at the same time. Considering that there’s an insane amount of online sex made about this subject, it’s safe to say that people fantasize about it quite regularly.
  4. Rough sex. Unbridled, all-out, full-on passionate sex is almost universally seen as hot. Who doesn’t like feeling that level of desire? A little pain mixed in with pleasure is a pretty common thing.
  5. Exhibitionism. Ever get an amazing rush of power or thrill when you accidentally flashed someone? Believe it or not, this fantasy is one of the most common out there. You don’t have to look too far to see people enact this fantasy in real life — dirty selfies are a prime example of it.
  6. Cheating. This is a fantasy that might be common, but it should stay a fantasy if you don’t want to be a jerk. Everyone fantasizes about people who aren’t their significant other once in a while, so while you shouldn’t feel guilty over the thought, the deed should stay off limits.
  7. Voyeurism. Some folks love nothing more than to be Peeping Toms or Peeping Tinas. These guys and gals may want to link up with those who find #5 attractive.
  8. Having sex in a strange location. Did you ever want to have sex in your college locker rooms? In your car? At a concert? If you have, congrats. You’re not alone! Over 70% of people’s fantasies will involve having sex in a quirky location at one point or another.
  9. Sleeping with a stranger. There may be a reason why so many romance novels involve trysts with someone the main character barely knows…
  10. Butt sex. It’s still strangely taboo, but the truth is that rap songs alone prove that there are a lot of people who are just all about the butt stuff. Though it may be considered “dirty” by some, the truth is that as long as you take a little precaution, butt sex can be just as clean as PIV.
  11. Sleeping with a celebrity. There are entire gossip magazines that basically make their money by talking about sex habits of the rich and famous. If you thought you’re the only one who fantasizes about a certain celebrity, it’s about time to have a reality check. Over 1/2 of all people have fantasized about doing dirty deeds with the celeb or model of their choice.
  12. Tying someone up/being tied up. Bondage, and movement restriction, are often cited as some of the most common kinks in the fetish scene. You’re not alone.
  13. Spanking or whipping. A little bit of pain involved  isn’t that unusual in terms of sexual fantasy. Don’t be too alarmed if you find out that your partner was naughty and wants a spanking. Around 1 out of every 4 women and roughly 1/2 of all men have wanted to incorporate this into their love lives.
  14. Sleeping with a member of the same sex. There’s a pretty common theory out there that suggests that no one is 100% straight. That being said, it’s very normal to want to try and experiment at least once.
  15. Major age differences. Did you ever want to go at it with a much older or younger guy? You’re definitely not alone there. Just about everyone has wanted to have a fling with someone that had at least a 5 year age difference at one point or another.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.