When you’re about to log onto Facebook to share your fifth post in a week about how amazing your relationship is, stop and ask yourself why you feel like you have something to prove. Here are 15 signs that it’s looking good on social media but leaving a lot to be “liked” in real life:
You only post about the good stuff. No, you shouldn’t have arguments with your partner on social media for the world to see (that’s just trashy), but if your relationship is filled with conflict in real life yet you’re only posting super-positive things about your relationship on Facebook, it just doesn’t gel. Why the lies? You’re better off not posting anything at all than trying to fool people.
Your quality time is filled with taking pics to post. You’re having a great day with your boyfriend, but most of the time your eyes are on your cell phone as you try to take pictures of your special moments — the moments you’re totally missing because you’re staring lovingly at your phone. Awkward AF.
Your online persona excites you. On Facebook, you’re the girl who’s #blessed to have such an amazing guy, the girl who’s so amped to be in such a happy relationship, the girl who’s fun-loving, happy and chilled AF. In real life, on the other hand, you’re stressed out a lot of the time and feeling a tad insecure in your relationship. You’d never admit that, though. You’d rather enjoy your social media persona because she’s got it going on. She’s not real!
You post daily. You’re always posting about your relationship: where you and your boyfriend are going for the weekend, what you’re busy doing, something funny he did. Yawn. If you were really happy in your relationship, would you need to fill your friends in on every little detail that’s happening? It’s a bit too much and looks shady.
You’re bragging to hide the bad. A study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Journal found that anxious, insecure people are more likely to brag about their relationships on Facebook, especially on days when they feel insecure about their partner’s feelings. It’s almost as though you’re trying to create the love that you’re lacking on a bad day in your relationship.
You don’t comment when things get real. When someone who knows you and your relationship in RL comments on your super-happy post, asking something personal about your relationship, such as “Are you okay now?” after you and your partner had a fight, you won’t answer them. In fact, you’ll delete the comment because it’s ruining the perfect presentation of your relationship. It’s all about the facade.
You’re posting on multiple social media networks. Facebook isn’t enough. You’re posting your perfect relationship snaps on Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, Google+ and LinkedIn (OMG). Whoa, honey. A study by the University of Oxford’s Internet Institute monitored 24,000 married couples and found that the ones who used over five different networks experienced a 14 percent drop in marital satisfaction. Hmm, maybe it’s because they’re so busy on social media that they’re not engaging in their marriages.
You’re trying way too hard. You’re really working it to try to show that you’re happy, but the truly happy people don’t have to talk about it every five seconds. They don’t need to post couple selfies every day or go one step further and organize couple photoshoots. Um, you’re not even getting engaged! Why all this effort? What are you hiding?
You crave attention. It’s fine to share your relationship sometimes, but if you’re always talking about it, it starts to smell like you’re dying to get attention. It could be because you’re not getting enough attention in your relationship. Just a thought…
You want to feel worthy. You might feel validated by having a happy relationship, which is why you take to Facebook to share TMI about it. But why do you feel so validated? Having a boyfriend doesn’t mean you’ve accomplished something special and it shouldn’t make you feel like you’re somehow worthy in society’s eyes. It’s a part of your life but shouldn’t be something you use to boost your self-worth.
You don’t consider your partner. Social media is all about you. If you want to post about your relationship, you’ll go ahead — even if your partner doesn’t approve. For instance, maybe he’s not ready to share the fact that your relationship is official with all his friends, or maybe the pics of him you took make him feel uncomfortable. You don’t care. It’s unfair to do this and can cause resentment. It means you’re putting the appearance of your relationship on social media ahead of your real relationship.
You post sexy pics of yourself without your partner. It starts to get weird if you’re posting pics of yourself in bikinis looking hot AF without your partner in sight but claiming that you love him so much. Um, are you just hoping to get attention while hiding behind the fact that you’re in a relationship? Do you not see how that’s inappropriate behavior if you’re in a relationship? Maybe all these relationship-perfect posts are truly fake AF.
Your boyfriend doesn’t “like” your stuff. It’s quite telling when you’re gushing about your relationship and your boyfriend never “likes” or comments on your posts even though he’s on Facebook. Hmmm.
You’re competitive. It’s sad if you feel you need “likes” and approval from other people to boost your ego and make you feel fantastic. Facebook can place unnecessary stress on relationships, making you compare your relationship to other people’s and making you feel stressed to be the best. That’s why a healthy relationship is often one that doesn’t appear on Facebook much! It’s real and doesn’t need to prove its worth.
You seem desperate. When you’re posting so much about your relationship, it starts to feel like you’re really desperate to come across as a person who’s happy and madly in love. Maybe you’re really more in love with the idea of love than the actual relationship you’re in. Maybe it’s time to logout of Facebook and deal with your partner in real life and see what’s happening? And FTLOG, please leave your cell phone at home.
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