Hook-up culture has definitely loosened standards on who we sleep with, but that doesn’t mean you should just sleep with anyone. Even when you’re literally just finding a good person to have a brief fling with, you need to choose wisely. A bad hook-up can mess up a lot more than just a fun night out. The good news is that you can generally tell that a guy’s a no-go by looking for these easily spotted signs:
- He doesn’t quite seem stable. If a guy has “crazy eyes,” or if you’ve seen him get into a lot of fights, do not hook up with him. Just like guys warn other guys not to stick their penis in crazy, girls should be warning one another not to slam their clams on crazy. Having sex with someone who’s unpredictable can lead to very, very unpleasant fallout. Haven’t you ever seen Fatal Attraction?
- He’s under the influence. Look, everyone has had a drunken hook-up once in a blue moon. However, that doesn’t mean that’s a good thing. If he’s doing lines of coke or blackout drunk, he’s in no shape to consent (and probably wouldn’t be that good even if he could). Besides, cleaning puke off your bathroom floor isn’t cool.
- He’s grimy. Some people just have sleezeball written all over their faces. If he acts like a guy who would offer you money for sex, or if he has a bad local reputation, don’t hook-up with him. You won’t feel good about it in the morning, and you might end up with an STD if he’s really gross.
- He’s taken. Do not be the other woman. If you see a wedding ring, saw him with a date, or see a tan line where a ring should be, don’t even go there. It’s terrible karma, and you deserve better.
- You’ve already caught him lying to you. If he’s lied about how many partners he’s been with, bragged about being a “relationship guy” then proved otherwise, or lied about talking crap about you, it’s a no-go. Who knows what else he’s lying about?
- You’ve overheard him talking crap about you or other women. This isn’t a guy who respects women. This isn’t a guy who respects you. While it may seem like this isn’t a big deal during a hook-up, it actually is. A guy who has no problem talking crap about you before he sticks it in will have no problem telling others all the sordid details of the hook-up.
- He pressures you to sleep with him. This is one of those things that should be a key indicator that you shouldn’t sleep with someone. If he keeps wheedling you for sex or won’t take no for an answer, you need to block his ass faster than a ninja blocks a high kick. A guy who pressures you to sleep with him isn’t a guy who respects boundaries.
- He’s not on the same page as you, emotionally speaking. If you want a relationship with him, and he’s looking for a one night stand, you’re not on the same page. Simply put, a good hook-up is one where you’re both on the same page. If he’s already saying no to even the possibility of a relationship, don’t try to keep him around.
- He won’t get tested or wear a condom. This is the definition of unsafe sex. Unless you’re fine with risking HIV transmission, don’t be that person. If the guy in question is actually fighting you on this topic, it’s not worth the risk – even if he finally gives in to condom use.
- It’s all about him and his needs. A guy who is too self-absorbed will not be able to handle the emotional aspects of sex. He will not be interested in pleasing you or meeting your needs. Do yourself a favor and avoid this twatwaffle.
- He’s told you that you’re not hot enough for girlfriend status, but hot enough for a hook-up status. Repeat after me: “Honey, you’re cute, but you’re not that cute. I don’t date or hook-up with guys who think that way. Ciao, bello.”
- You’d be embarrassed to admit you had sex with him. Don’t make the mistake of sleeping with someone you’d be embarrassed about later. You might find out that they told everyone that you two did it.
- He can’t communicate with you. If a guy is expecting you to be a mind reader, don’t hook up with him. Good sex takes communication, anyway.
- He’s your ex. NO! BAD! An ex is an ex for a reason! He’s not good for you!
- He’s your friend’s ex. Look, 99.9 percent of the time, this is not cool. Do not put your friendship in jeopardy for the D. That’s just Girl Code, people.
