Don’t put up with the guy who does just enough to show you he’s interested. Wait for the guy who isn’t afraid to go above and beyond the call of duty because he’ll do things that show he’s truly worthy of your time. Here’s how you know you’ve found a good one:
- He cares about what you want. He doesn’t just talk about his intentions regarding relationships, but he listens to what you want from him and where you see things going. He’ll match what you want so that you’re most comfortable being with him.
- He’s really cool with taking things slow. If you tell him you don’t want to rush physically or emotionally (or both!), he’s honestly patient with you and okay with it. He’s not going to pretend that he’s okay with you not being into casual sex only to pressure you in a week’s time. He’s serious about you and willing to prove it by waiting until you’re ready for every new step you take together.
- He goes out of his way for you. You’re stuck on the highway? He’s there to fix your flat tire in five minutes. Your relative is in the hospital? He goes with you to visit them. He doesn’t wait to be asked for his help — he offers it without hesitation.
- He puts up with the people in your life that are hard to handle. You want him and your best girlfriends to hang out and even though some of the girls can be a handful, he’s a gentleman about it and puts up with them to make you happy. It boils down to him respecting things and people that mean a lot to you.
- He puts your happiness over his own sometimes. If he wants to go out for sushi but you’re a strict vegetarian, he’ll happily go for pizza instead. He’s quick to shift his plans to make you have a great time with him instead of nagging you to try something you really don’t want to do. He knows you’ll do the same for him occasionally too — that’s what compromise is all about.
- He surprises you when you least expect it. He’s the guy who doesn’t wait for a special occasion like Valentine’s Day or your anniversary to show you how much he cares. He’ll bring you your favorite chocolates or flowers out of the blue to say he loves you instead of only doing so when it’s expected of him.
- He plans the perfect date. He’ll invite you out for dinner but it doesn’t end there. He’ll make sure to book the best table in the restaurant ahead of time so that you’ll have an amazing view and experience. Or, he’ll try to get scuba-diving lessons for you both to enjoy if you once mentioned that you’d love to try it out. He’s thoughtful AF and puts in some serious effort to show you a good time even beyond the honeymoon period.
- He respects your lifestyle choices. If you follow a certain lifestyle, such as being vegan or practicing Buddhism, he doesn’t ridicule your beliefs just because he’s got different ones. He’ll respect where you’re coming from even if he doesn’t really get what it’s about.
- He pays attention to the details. When you’re about to bite into a chocolate dessert, he’ll be quick to pull it out of reach if it’s got nuts in it because he remembers you’re allergic to them. He listens to what you say and is always ready to protect you from harm.
- He cooks you dinner when he knows you’ve had a hard day. After you’ve been through a stressful time at work, you walk into the house and see that he’s cooked a delicious meal for you. So sweet! He wants to show you that he’s there for you and he’s a soft spot to fall when the world turns on you.
- He gets in touch when you go off the radar. If you haven’t replied to his messages in a while, he might wait it out for a few days but then get in contact with you to see that you’re okay and where you’re at. He does this in a way that isn’t clingy or controlling. He just really cares.
- He gives you his time. Giving you gifts and attention via text are great, but it’s really time that he wants to invest in you. He’ll make regular plans to see you because he wants you to be a part of his life.
- He doesn’t just text. He’s not the type of guy to email or text you — he’ll do those things but he’ll make sure he also calls you regularly. This shows that he’s willing to up his game and make the extra effort to be with you.
- He drops his guard. He isn’t the type of guy to play games, such as alternating between showing interest and then pulling back. He’s a grown man who treats you with respect. He’s real and open about his intentions, feelings and life right from the beginning so you don’t have to try to figure him out.
- He learns about your bedroom preferences. He takes the time to learn about what you like and don’t like in the bedroom so he can give you great sex. It’s definitely not just his pleasure he’s after! The guy’s a keeper.