Have you ever had a friend, partner, or coworker who set off your internal alarm bells? That uneasy feeling isn’t paranoia—it’s your intuition picking up on subtle red flags. Here’s how to spot untrustworthy people and their sneaky behaviors before they have the chance to manipulate or burn you.
1. They Never Apologize
If someone can’t apologize for their mistakes, it’s a sign of a deeper issue. Refusing to take responsibility is a major red flag. Trustworthy people own their actions and apologize when necessary. If they constantly dodge accountability, it’s a sign they can’t be relied on.
2. They Gossip About Others
If they’re always gossiping about others, beware—they may try to create a false bond by sharing “secrets” with you. However, it’s likely they’ll talk about you the same way to someone else. Genuine friends build trust without putting others down.
3. They Pile on the Compliments
A few compliments are nice, but constant praise feels insincere, especially from someone who’s just met you. Over-the-top flattery can be a tactic to get you on their side quickly, and it’s often a sign of manipulation. True friends don’t need to go overboard to make you feel valued.
4. They Make Intense Eye Contact
While eye contact is usually positive, overly intense eye contact can feel unsettling. It’s often a tactic to seem trustworthy and genuine. However, if someone’s trying too hard, it may be a performance rather than an authentic connection.
5. They Lure You in With Fake Openness
When someone overshares too soon, it might feel like you’ve made an instant connection. But beware: this can be a tactic to create a fake bond quickly. Genuine relationships take time to build, so don’t ignore the warning signs if they’re trying to get close too fast.
6. They Distract You to Keep Their Distance
If someone avoids meaningful conversations by making jokes or changing the subject, they may be trying to hide something. Distractions prevent you from getting close or seeing their true intentions, making it hard to trust them.
7. They Keep Things Vague
Does this person often say “maybe” or “not sure”? When someone is constantly vague, it’s a sign they’re not committing to anything. It’s a way to keep you at a distance emotionally and to avoid responsibility.
8. They Only Talk About You
While it might feel flattering at first, a trustworthy relationship involves both people opening up. If someone only focuses on you and keeps their life hidden, it’s a red flag. This tactic keeps them safe while putting you in the spotlight.
9. They Make Snide Comments
Snide remarks or passive-aggressive comments can seem harmless, but they’re often a way to test boundaries. Don’t let subtle digs slide—they can reveal a tendency for criticism and manipulation that won’t benefit you in the long run.
10. They Move Too Fast to Get Close
If someone tries to rush the relationship, calling you their best friend or significant other quickly, it’s a red flag. Building genuine connections takes time, and rushing is often a tactic to secure a place in your life before you see who they really are.
11. They Don’t Show Guilt or Remorse
If they hurt someone and shrug it off like it’s no big deal, that’s a clear red flag. Genuine remorse shows they care about others’ feelings. A lack of guilt or remorse indicates that they don’t value relationships deeply. People who brush off mistakes or laugh at others’ pain aren’t likely to be supportive or compassionate friends, and they’ll probably only bring negativity into your life.
12. They Question Your Loyalty
If they’re constantly questioning your intentions or accusing you of being untrustworthy, it’s a red flag. Untrustworthy people often project their insecurities onto others, creating doubt and confusion. They may accuse you of things they’re actually guilty of, keeping you on the defensive. Genuine friends and partners don’t make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells; they support you and trust you without constant accusations.
13. They Don’t Deliver on Their Promises
Broken promises are a huge sign of inconsistency. If they constantly apologize but keep letting you down, it’s clear they’re not reliable. Being trustworthy means doing what you say you’ll do. Someone who can’t follow through may seem apologetic, but empty promises hurt in the long run. Watch how they act rather than just what they say, and you’ll see their true character.
14. They Fidget and Act Distracted
If they can’t focus when they’re with you, constantly checking their phone or staring off into space, it’s a red flag. Fidgeting and a lack of attention often mean they’re not fully invested in the conversation. It’s disrespectful and can show that they’re hiding something or simply don’t care. True friends are present, and they make you feel valued by giving you their full attention.
15. Their Actions Don’t Match Their Words
Words are easy, it’s actions reveal true intentions. If someone’s behavior contradicts what they say, take it seriously. They might talk about their integrity or kindness, but if their actions don’t reflect that, trust their behavior instead. Actions are the best indicators of someone’s character, and consistent behavior is a foundation for any trustworthy relationship. Pay close attention, and don’t overlook inconsistencies.
