15 Signs Your Ex Is Still Obsessed With You

15 Signs Your Ex Is Still Obsessed With You

Breakups can be tough, but what’s even tougher is dealing with an ex who just can’t seem to move on. Maybe they’re constantly texting, showing up where you are, or bombarding your social media with likes and comments. It can be hard to tell if these are just signs of lingering feelings or a full-blown obsession. If you’re wondering if your ex is still head over heels (and not in a good way), here are a few tell-tale signs.

1. They’re constantly trying to contact you.

frustrated blonde woman texting

It’s normal for exes to check in now and then, especially if the breakup was recent. But if your ex is blowing up your phone with texts, calls, and DMs at all hours, it might be a sign they’re not over you. If the communication feels excessive or unwanted, it’s time to set some boundaries, Psych Central suggests.

2. They’re showing up where you are.

Running into an ex every now and then is one thing, but if they seem to always be where you are, it could be intentional. Whether it’s “accidentally” bumping into you at your favorite coffee shop or conveniently showing up at the same party, these frequent encounters might be a sign they’re still hung up on you.

3. They’re constantly checking your social media.

smiling man texting on couch

It’s natural to be curious about what an ex is up to, but if your ex is constantly liking, commenting, and sharing your posts, it could be a sign they’re still invested in your life. If their social media activity feels obsessive or intrusive, it’s time to consider adjusting your privacy settings or blocking them altogether.

4. They’re talking about you to mutual friends.

It’s one thing to vent to friends after a breakup, but if your ex is constantly talking about you to mutual friends, it’s a red flag. Whether they’re badmouthing you or reminiscing about the good times, it shows they’re still thinking about you a lot.

5. They’re trying to make you jealous.

If your ex is suddenly posting photos with attractive people or bragging about their dating life, it might be a ploy to make you jealous. This behavior is often a sign they want your attention and are hoping to rekindle your interest.

6. They’re comparing their new partner to you.

why do guys flirt

If your ex has moved on to a new relationship but is constantly comparing their new partner to you, it’s a clear sign they’re not over you. Whether they’re pointing out similarities or differences, it shows you’re still on their mind.

7. They’re trying to sabotage your new relationship.

Cheating, jealous, obsession, possession. Young woman talking on smartphone while angry boyfriend sitting next to her on the park bench. Bad love relationships

If your ex is actively trying to interfere with your new relationship, it’s a major red flag. Whether they’re spreading rumors, making negative comments, or trying to create drama, it’s a sign they’re still obsessed with you and can’t stand to see you happy with someone else.

8. They’re refusing to let go of shared belongings.

If your ex is holding onto shared belongings, like clothes, photos, or gifts, it could be a way for them to maintain a connection to you. It’s important to set clear boundaries and ask for your things back if they’re refusing to let go.

9. They’re trying to get your attention in any way they can.

Whether it’s sending you random texts, commenting on your social media posts, or even showing up at your doorstep, your ex is trying to get your attention in any way they can. This behavior is often a sign that they’re still hoping to get back together with you.

10. They’re making threats or trying to intimidate you.

If your ex is threatening you or trying to intimidate you, it’s a serious sign that they’re obsessed with you. This behavior is dangerous and should not be tolerated. If you’re feeling threatened, it’s important to contact the police or a domestic violence hotline. The National Domestic Violence hotline is available 24/7 at 800.799.SAFE (7233).

11. They’re trying to control you.

If your ex is trying to control you, it’s a sign that they’re not over you. They may try to tell you who you can see, what you can do, and even who you can talk to. This behavior is abusive and should not be tolerated.

12. They’re stalking you.

If your ex is stalking you, it’s a serious crime. Stalking can be very frightening and can make you feel unsafe. If you’re being stalked, it’s important to contact the police and get a restraining order.

13. They’re trying to hurt you.

sad guy texting on park bench

If your ex is trying to hurt you, it’s a sign that they’re dangerous. This behavior is unacceptable and should not be tolerated. If you’re being hurt by your ex, it’s important to contact the police and get a restraining order.

14. They’re making you feel guilty or ashamed.

If your ex is trying to make you feel guilty or ashamed, it’s a sign that they’re manipulative. This behavior can be very damaging to your self-esteem. If you’re being made to feel guilty or ashamed by your ex, it’s important to talk to a trusted friend or family member for support.

15. They’re making you feel like you’re going crazy.

If your ex is making you feel like you’re going crazy, it’s a sign that they’re gaslighting you. Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that can make you question your own reality. If you’re being gaslighted by your ex, it’s important to talk to a therapist or counselor for support.

Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.