15 Signs You’re Just Using Him For Sex

15 Signs You’re Just Using Him For Sex ©iStock/StudioThreeDots

Just like men have women they like sleeping with but don’t want to date, women have guys who they see solely as FWB material. For guys, this is probably great news… unless they actually like the girl they’re sleeping with. Though it’s not as frequent as guys using girls for sex, this does happen.  The weird thing is that we sometimes don’t realize what we’re doing. To clear up any confusion, here are 15 signs you’re just using him for sex.

  1. You want a relationship… just not with him. You really, truly want a relationship — you’re desperate for one. However, you still don’t consider the guy you’re sleeping with as relationship material. In fact, you make a point to tell him it’s just sex pretty often.
  2. You ask him to leave immediately afterwards. You’re not looking to cuddle. You’re not looking to talk. He knows what it is, and is fine with it. If anything, you might get annoyed or confused if he wants to cuddle up.
  3. You flirt with other guys right in front of him, and you don’t care. If this happens, you’ve completely and totally discounted him as relationship material. After all, you’re not even trying to keep up appearances at this point.
  4. You’re annoyed or confused when he doesn’t want to have sex. Sure, all girls get a little miffed at rejection, but if you’re clearly more than just a little peeved, it may be because you feel like sex is the only thing he can bring to the table.
  5. To a point, you’re not taking no for an answer. He says he’s not in the mood, you keep teasing him. He says he’s tired, you either keep asking or leave in a huff. The fact that you’re behaving like this usually means you’re extremely attracted to him… but only physically.
  6. You’re abnormally sexually aggressive with him. Girls who want a relationship will usually scale back their sexual aggression. You, on the other hand, are hitting full force because you’re not really nervous about scaring him away.
  7. You have absolutely no interest in bonding with him. In a typical relationship, you may want to bond with a guy over drinks. This is not the case here — it’s all about the nookie!
  8. You have no issue bringing out your kink in full force. This may be because it’s just an arrangement that gets your BDSM needs met, or it may be because of the fact that you just can’t get it out of your system any other way. Either way, most people who are looking for a relationship are more likely to scale back the crazy side in hopes that they won’t freak them out.
  9. Officially, you’re with another guy. If the person you’re with is already taken, you are the side piece. This is the definition of using someone for sex.
  10. You never get jealous. If he tells you that he might be screwing other women on the side, you’ll shrug, then tell him to go for it. Truth be told, if you’re not jealous at all, you’re really not into him (if that wasn’t already obvious).
  11. You’re not happy about the idea of introducing him to anyone you know. If a guy is using a girl for sex, he doesn’t want to introduce her to anyone. The same goes for us chicks. We don’t want anyone to know our business.
  12. Actually, you’re really trying to keep it all on the down low, and even ask him not to tell others about it. Granted, gentle(wo)men never kiss and tell, but when you want to ensure that no one knows, it may be because you’re just looking for a fling.
  13. You’ve done this before. If you’ve been known to have a guy that you just call for a little fun, then it might not surprise you that you’re doing it again.
  14. You talk about him and treat him like a sex toy. A lot of guys actually don’t mind this kind of behavior, but if he wants a relationship, he may not be cool with it for long.
  15. You told him that what you are looking for is sex, and only sex. How much clearer can it get?
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.