15 Signs You’re Not Right For Each Other No Matter How Into Him You Are

There are many reasons why a relationship can break down, some of which aren’t even your fault. Even if you’re really into a guy, but if you’re not compatible, nothing will change that. If you’ve been waiting for that final push to walk away, here are some clear signs you’re not right for each other.

  1. You’re always fighting. This is one of the biggest signs you’re not right for each other. This isn’t just a healthy bicker about which burger joint you’re going to hit this weekend. It’s more than that, and it’s awkward for the friends you hang out with and for the members of the public when you start going at it. Often, arguments stem from passion about a subject or the other person, but if it’s just shouting at and disrespecting each other, then that’s not good enough.
  2. You have the same arguments over again. If you find that you have never sat down and resolved the same big issues that were problems when you first got together, that’s an issue. It shows that you don’t value the relationship or each other enough to actually sort that s–t out. You’re in survival mode rather than trying to grow or evolve together. Yes, you might have broken heart syndrome when you break up, but that’s better than arguing non-stop.
  3. People stop wanting to hang out with you. It’s never good news if you’re going in such a toxic circle with your partner that you’re no longer fun to be around. This is particularly true if the main source of socialization you get outside your partner starts to diminish. It’s a vicious cycle because you aren’t getting that love or attention from your partner or from any other source. That’s just not healthy.
  4. You feel more like yourself with friends. If you don’t feel like you are, or can be, a version of yourself that you like around your partner, this is one of the most obvious signs you’re not right for each other. You should feel accepted, seen, loved, supported, and challenged in a relationship. You deserve more than the bare minimum, believe me. It’s a sign that you’re no good for each other if you no longer like spending time with him.
  5. You need more alone time than ever before. I mean ‘alone’ time in all of the senses. If the time spent with your partner is no longer serving you then it’s clear that you don’t value their presence anymore. In fact, it probably actively drains you and you might even start to despise it.
  6. You’re clouded by the past. Don’t let how things used to feel keep you in a situation that’s changed if you aren’t right for each other. Don’t stay with someone you don’t love. It’s just not worth it. Accepting that things have changed is the first step.
  7. You can’t satisfy each other sexually. Quite apart from the personal and emotional connection that you’ve lost, if, within all of that, you’re not meeting each other’s sexual needs, then you really are in the final stages of the death of the relationship. We’ve all been there where we’ve stayed in a relationship because the sex was good. If even that’s gone, get thee to a bar, friends.
  1. You’re ignoring each other’s emotional needs. It’s at this point that the breakdown in the relationship has gone passed the point of neutral ignorance; you’re now actively putting each other in a worse emotional situation than before. This toxicity shows that you no longer care about each other, or each other’s growth. You probably know what you’re doing is hurting each other because you know each other’s trigger points, that’s why if you’re not right for each other, just get out of there.
  2. You’re both distant. This means that you’re not invested in the present moment. You’re always thinking about some mystical future date when you’ll feel free or ready to grow. That can’t happen when you’re with someone that you’re not right for. It means you waste each other’s time and start to feel trapped.
  3. You’re spending less time and less together. This is particularly bad when you’re in a situation where you’re living with each other. It can get very claustrophobic and really isolating if you don’t have a friendship group that you can rely on. Make sure you still get quality time from somewhere else after your relationship falls apart.
  4. You’re ready to give up. Simply put, it takes two people to break up a relationship. It’s not just about people who make mistakes, but also about the people who let it happen or don’t create a space of open communication. You don’t view the relationship as being worthy of saving so you just sit in it and stew. It’s not good for anyone.
  5. You know what you want and it isn’t this. But then you have to be brave enough to call out a relationship that doesn’t serve you anymore. If you’re over it, that’s enough. You owe the other person a discussion, of course, but if they’re not right for you anymore, don’t stay in a relationship when you know what you really want.
  6. Your friends tell you to move on. Our friends always have our best interests at heart and they see things we don’t. This means that when even they weigh in on how your relationship is going, or if they notice a change, that’s a sign to move on.
  7. You stop feeling ambitious. Relationship depression is a real thing, and it stops you from thinking about your future in an ambitious way. You’re forced into thinking about the world as it feels: limiting and filled with regret. But that’s not what life is, or should be, so talk to people close to you about what you’re feeling and they’ll help you extract yourself.
  8. You feel trapped. Sometimes, you think a relationship will last forever. But, by the time a few years have passed and you’ve changed jobs or thought about life differently, things change. That’s natural — in fact, it’s good. It shows you have grown, and real growth is the ability to move on and commit to a decision. No one deserves to feel trapped.
Hannah has a Masters degree in Romantic and Victorian literature in Scotland and spends her spare time writing anything from essays to short fiction about the life and times of the frogs in her local pond! She loves musical theatre, football, anything with potatoes, and remains a firm believer that most of the problems in this world can be solved by dancing around the kitchen to ABBA. You can find her on Instagram at @_hannahvic.