Sometimes, you might find yourself at a standstill in your relationship, unsure about where things are headed or if you’re even on the right path. If you’re feeling uncertain about your relationship, don’t panic. It’s a common experience, and there are steps, like these 15, you can take to gain clarity and make the right decision for you.
1. Pause for a second
Okay, let’s breathe. It’s easy to get caught up in a whirlwind of emotions and overthinking when you’re feeling unsure. Give yourself permission to pause and just exist in the moment. You don’t have to make any immediate decisions, you’re only job is creating space for clarity.
2. Think about what caused it
What’s really bothering you? Is it a specific incident, a pattern of behavior, or a general feeling of dissatisfaction? Grab a journal and start writing down your thoughts. Sometimes, seeing your concerns on paper can help you pinpoint the real issues.
3. Check in with yourself
How are you doing, really? Relationship uncertainty can be a sign that something’s off, but it might not always be about the relationship itself. Are you stressed at work? Dealing with family stuff? Make sure you’re not projecting other life stressors onto your partnership.
4. Communication is key (but you knew that already)
Yeah, yeah, everyone says communication is important. But it really is. If you haven’t already, it’s time to have an honest conversation with your partner. Share your feelings, but avoid accusatory language. Use “I” statements like “I’ve been feeling uncertain lately” rather than “You make me feel uncertain,” according to Psychology Today, it’s the best way to approach conversations.
5. Listen actively
After you’ve shared your thoughts, zip it and give your partner the floor. Really listen to what they’re saying…and what they’re not saying. Sometimes, their perspective might surprise you and shed new light on the situation.
6. Reflect on your relationship history
Think back to when things were good. What’s changed since then? Has there been a gradual shift, or was there a specific turning point? Understanding how you got here can help you figure out if you want to stay here.
7. Seek outside perspective (carefully)
Sometimes, an outsider’s view can be helpful. But choose wisely—your bestie who’s always hated your partner might not be the most objective source. Consider talking to a trusted friend, family member, or even a relationship counselor for a better perspective.
8. Take a trip down memory lane
Pull out those old photos or revisit places that hold special memories for you as a couple. Sometimes, reconnecting with the positive aspects of your relationship can help you decide if it’s worth working through the tough times.
9. Spend some time apart
I know, it sounds counterintuitive. But a little space can give you both room to breathe and reflect. It doesn’t have to be a full-blown “break”—even just a weekend apart can offer a fresh perspective.
10. Shake things up
Routines can be comforting, but they can also lead to complacency. Try something new together—a cooking class, a weekend getaway, or even just a different date night spot. A change of scenery can reignite that spark.
11. Address any trust issues
According to Verywell Mind, trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If there are underlying trust issues, they need to be addressed head-on. This might involve having some uncomfortable conversations, but it’s essential for moving forward.
12. Imagine your future
Close your eyes and picture your life five years from now. Is your partner there? If so, what does your relationship look like? This visualization exercise can sometimes help you get closer to what you truly want.
13. Be honest with yourself
This is perhaps the hardest part. Be brutally honest with yourself about your feelings, your partner’s behavior, and the overall health of your relationship. Are you staying because you truly want to, or out of fear, habit, or convenience?
14. Focus on self-improvement
While you’re figuring things out, why not work on yourself? Pick up a new hobby, set some personal goals, or work on habits you’ve been meaning to change. Not only will this boost your self-esteem, but it might also bring new energy into your relationship.
15. Give it time
Last but not least, remember that clarity often comes with time. Unless you’re in a situation that requires immediate action (like if you’re experiencing any form of abuse), it’s okay to sit with your uncertainty for a while. Sometimes, the path forward becomes clearer as you work through these steps.
