15 Subtle Signs You’re On The Verge Of Being Ghosted

Ghosting happens suddenly, but it doesn’t “just happen.” There aren’t often signs that the guy in your life is getting ready to disappear from it altogether without a trace. If you don’t want to be blindsided, here are some common signs to be on the lookout for:

  1. You’ve lost your communication mojo. You and your boyfriend used to be able to talk about anything and there was always an interesting subject on the cards. Lately, it feels like you’ve lost your spark. It might even feel a bit awkward to talk, like you don’t have much to say.
  2. He’s not as on the ball as he used to be. He used to be the kind of boyfriend who was really attentive, but now, not so much. An example is with texting. He can take ages to reply to your missed calls and texts without being sorry about it or giving you a valid reason why.
  3. His best friend wonders where you areYou bump into his best friend and the guy asks where you’ve been, as though you’ve been the one too busy to hang out with your BF and his friends. Um, no. Clearly your boyfriend has been slowly fading you out of his social life. Awkward.
  4. He doesn’t have as much time for you anymore. Your dates used to go on for hours, but now it’s like he’s rushing through them. He might claim to be so busy he has to head back to the office, but you know better. Soon, he’ll be too busy to see you at all.
  5. He zones out on you regularly. He might ask you how your day was, but it often looks like he zones out when you talk or he just doesn’t remember to ask about important stuff you’re going through. It’s like your life doesn’t matter to him anymore.
  6. He only has sex with you when he’s drunk. A change in sexual habits can point to the guy not wanting to be with you anymore, so if it seems like he’s never in the mood or only heads to the bedroom when he’s had a few drinks, it could be a bad sign that he’s losing interest. It’s even worse if he doesn’t talk about it because it means he doesn’t want to work on the problems in your relationship.
  7. He only wants to see you at night. If he’s no longer available during the day but then booty calls you at night, he’s clearly hoping to downgrade you from girlfriend to fling. Things are fading — fast — and he’s hoping to get sex out of it for as long as he can. It’s also easier for him to ghost a fling than a girlfriend, so this is very convenient for him.
  8. He excuses bad behavior in other guys. When you talk about your guy friend who’s been cheating on his GF or not replying to her texts, your BF doesn’t agree with you that he’s being a jerk. Rather, he’s quick to excuse the guy’s behavior. Hmm. Could it be because he’s about to do the same thing to you?
  9. He’s changed his personality, interests, etc. You find out new things about your BF that you never knew, like how he wants to go on a hiking trip through Europe or that he wants to open up a business. He never said these things before so it’s like he’s showing you a whole new side to him. The problem? His future plans don’t include you.
  10. He doesn’t give you straight answersSometimes he seems to act a little dodgy when you ask him stuff, like who’s texting him so much. Or he just doesn’t fill you in on his life. The latter doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s cheating, but it could mean that he doesn’t want to share his life with you anymore because he’s preparing to break your heart.
  11. His previous relationships ended weirdly. If your boyfriend isn’t the type of guy who has properly broken up with his exes, but instead just stopped calling them, then it could be a sign that he’s going to do the same thing to you. It’s shady as hell.
  12. He’s too busy to hang with your loved ones. When a guy wants to remove himself from your life in a shady way, such as by ghosting you, he’s going to start slowly fading out from your loved ones. This means he’ll be “too busy” to spend time with your family or best friends when he’s really sitting at home playing video games.
  13. He’s eager to fill up his life with other people. He’s got his friends, but lately, it’s like he wants to get new ones — and they’re quite different from his old crew. If he’s so keen to form a new social circle, it could be because he’s itching to have new people in his life. If he’s not inviting you along to these outings, then he’s clearly not going to have you around for much longer.
  14. He ends friendships by cutting contact. If he moves away from friends who have upset him or just don’t interest him anymore by ignoring their texts, what’s stopping him from doing that to you, especially if your gut tells you that things in your relationship aren’t as great as they used to be?
  15. He avoids conflict. When you confront him about something in the relationship that doesn’t feel right, he’s quick to avoid the topic. He might change the subject or just give you one-word answers. It’s clear he hates conflict and would rather take the coward’s way out of it. In the same way, he could go AWOL instead of breaking up with you like a real man would.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.