We’ve all stuck our foot in our mouth at some point—I know I have! But there’s a difference between the occasional awkward moment and saying something that makes everyone in the room cringe. Let’s talk about the biggest verbal no-nos that we should probably strike from our conversation playbook forever.
1. “You’re Still Single?”
Being single isn’t a disease that needs curing. It’s not like there’s some relationship deadline we all need to meet before we expire. When you say this to someone, you might as well be saying, “Wow, no one wants to date you?” (Which, by the way, is super not true!) Some people are living their best single life by choice, focusing on their career, or just haven’t met someone who appreciates their extensive collection of rubber ducks. Whatever the reason, their relationship status isn’t up for discussion unless they bring it up first.
2. “You Look Tired Today.”
Has anyone in the history of ever felt better after hearing this? It’s basically code for “Wow, you look rough!” Even if you’re genuinely concerned about your work bestie’s dark circles, this isn’t the way to go about it. Trust me, they’ve probably already had a lovely chat with their mirror this morning about how exhausted they look. Instead of pointing out their zombie-like appearance, why not just ask how they’re doing? Who knows, maybe they’ll actually want to tell you about their Netflix binge that kept them up until 3 AM.
3. “Have You Gained/Lost Weight?”
Unless you’re someone’s doctor during a check-up, their weight is absolutely none of your business. Like, not even a little bit. Maybe they’re dealing with health issues, maybe they’re stressed, or maybe they just really love their mom’s lasagna—it doesn’t matter! Bodies change all the time, and commenting on someone’s weight is about as helpful as pointing out that water is wet. Plus, you never know what kind of relationship someone has with their body, so let’s just keep our thoughts about other people’s physical appearance to ourselves.
4. “When Are You Having Kids?”
Oh boy, this is a big one. Let me tell you why this question needs to be launched into the sun: you have no idea what someone’s going through behind closed doors. Maybe they’re trying and struggling with fertility issues. Maybe they can’t afford kids right now. Maybe— wild thought here—they just don’t want any. The thing is, people’s family planning isn’t like a Netflix series that you can demand updates about. It’s deeply personal stuff, and nobody owes you their reproductive timeline.
5. “I Can’t Believe You’ve Never Heard of That!”
Come on, we’re not all part of some cosmic hive mind that knows everything about everything. Maybe someone didn’t grow up watching the same shows as you, or maybe they were too busy mastering quantum physics to keep up with pop culture. Being excited to introduce someone to something you love is great—making them feel like a cave dweller for not knowing about it isn’t. Instead of going all judgy-mcjudgerson, why not get excited about being the one to introduce them to this amazing thing?
6. “At Least It’s Not…”
Oh, the classic “someone has it worse” comfort attempt. Here’s a fun fact: telling someone their problems aren’t that bad because others have it worse is like saying they can’t be happy because someone else has it better. Ridiculous, right? When your friend is upset about losing their phone, they don’t need to hear about your cousin’s friend’s neighbor who lost their entire house. They just need you to say “That sucks!” and maybe help them look for it.
7. “You’re Too Young/Old For That.”
News flash: age is just a number when it comes to most things in life (except maybe entering a bar or renting a car). Want to start learning ballet at 50? Rock on. Want to get really into bird watching at 25? Watch those birds, friend. Putting age restrictions on joy is like putting pineapple on pizza—controversial and unnecessary. Life’s too short to let someone else’s age expectations hold you back from what makes you happy.
8. “Is That What You’re Wearing?”
You know that moment right before you’re heading out the door, feeling pretty good about yourself, and then someone drops this bomb? Talk about a confidence killer. It’s like they’re saying “Hey, I know you spent time picking this out, but let me make you second-guess everything about your choices real quick.” Unless someone’s about to walk into a black-tie event wearing a chicken costume (and honestly, even then, maybe they’re making a statement), keep those fashion critiques to yourself. Their style might not be your cup of tea, but guess what? They’re not dressing for you.
9. “Why Are You Still Not Over That?”
Oh, I’m sorry—I didn’t realize there was a universal timeline for processing emotions. Imagine if we treated physical wounds this way: “Wow, your broken leg still hurts after two weeks? Just walk it off!” Sounds crazy, right? Emotional healing is even more complex than physical healing, and everyone moves at their own pace. Maybe they’re not “still not over it”—maybe they’re actively working through it, and your comment just made them feel worse about their progress. Let’s stick to being supportive instead of being the healing police.
10. “You’d Be So Pretty If…”
Let me stop you right there. This is basically saying “You’re not pretty enough as you are, but here’s my unsolicited advice on how to fix that.” Spoiler alert: nobody asked! Whether it’s about their hair, their clothes, their weight, or anything else, adding conditions to someone’s attractiveness is like putting terms and conditions on basic human dignity. Here’s a wild idea: maybe they’re already pretty fantastic exactly as they are, and your beauty standards aren’t the universal measure of worth.
11. “I Told You So.”
Ah yes, the four words guaranteed to make any bad situation approximately 1000% more annoying. Look, we get it—you’re a modern-day Nostradamus who saw this coming from a mile away. But you know what’s not helpful when someone’s already dealing with the consequences of a mistake? Reminding them that they should have listened to your infinite wisdom. Unless your goal is to make sure they never share their problems with you again, maybe keep that prediction victory dance to yourself.
12. “You’re Being Too Sensitive.”
This is basically the grown-up version of “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!” (Which, by the way, also never helped anyone stop crying.) When someone’s feeling hurt or upset, telling them their feelings are an overreaction is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline. Maybe they are being more sensitive than you would be in the same situation—but guess what? They’re not you. Everyone processes emotions differently, and invalidating someone’s feelings is a one-way ticket to them never trusting you with their emotions again.
12. “What’s Wrong With Your Face?”
Unless you spot a spider crawling across someone’s forehead or they’ve got spinach in their teeth (in which case, please do tell them!), there’s absolutely no reason to comment on someone’s facial features. Whether it’s acne, scars, birthmarks, or just their natural expression, trust me—they know what their face looks like. They’ve probably spent way more time looking at it than you have. Plus, lots of facial features might be tied to medical conditions or personal stories that aren’t any of your business.
13. “Why Don’t You Just…”
Oh sure, because no one in the history of having problems has ever thought of the super simple solution you’re about to suggest. “Why don’t you just cheer up?” to someone with depression, or “Why don’t you just get a better job?” to someone struggling financially— because it’s just that easy, right? If someone’s sharing a problem with you, chances are they’ve already run through the “just” scenarios in their head about a million times. They’re probably looking for support, not a quick fix that oversimplifies their situation.
14. “You Look Good for Your Age.”
This backhanded compliment needs to be retired ASAP. What does that even mean—good “for your age”? Are we supposed to look progressively worse as we get older like we’re all slowly transforming into trolls? When you add that qualifier, you’re basically saying “You look good… considering how old and decrepit you should look.” How about we just stick with “You look good” and leave age out of it entirely? Or better yet, compliment someone on something that has nothing to do with their appearance.
15. “Whatever, It’s Fine.”
Ah, the passive-aggressive battle cry. We all know that when someone says “It’s fine” in that tone, it is most definitely not fine. This phrase is like emotional morse code for “I’m upset but I don’t want to talk about it, but I also want you to know I’m upset but don’t ask me about it, but also please read my mind.” If something’s bothering you, either speak up about it or take some time to process your feelings. Playing the passive-aggressive game just leaves everyone feeling frustrated and confused.
