We’ve all met them — the people who seem to prioritize appearances above all else. They might be fun at a party, but when you try to have a deeper conversation, it’s like hitting a brick wall. Shallowness isn’t always a dealbreaker, but it can be a major turn-off in friendships and relationships. So, how can you spot someone who’s all surface and no substance? Keep an eye out for these signs.
1. Their conversations revolve around material possessions.
Shallow people often talk incessantly about their latest designer purchase, the luxurious vacation they just took, or the fancy car they’re eyeing. It’s as if their worth is tied to the things they own rather than their character, experiences, or relationships. You might find yourself zoning out during these conversations, wondering if there’s anything more to them than their material obsessions.
2. They judge people based on appearance.
A shallow person is quick to make snap judgments about people based on their looks, clothes, or even how popular they are, according to Psychology Today. They might make snide remarks about someone’s weight, criticize their fashion choices, or dismiss someone because they don’t belong to the “right” crowd. This focus on superficial qualities reveals a lack of depth and empathy, as they fail to see the person beyond the surface.
3. They gossip excessively.
If there’s one thing shallow people love, it’s talking trash about people. They thrive on drama and are always eager to share the latest rumors, scandals, or juicy tidbits about anyone and everyone. This behavior stems from a need to feel superior or connected to people, even if it means putting people down. You might notice that they’re quick to criticize people behind their backs, but rarely offer constructive feedback or genuine support.
4. They lack empathy and emotional depth.
One of the most glaring signs of a shallow person is their inability to empathize with people. They struggle to understand or relate to other people’s emotions, often dismissing them as overly sensitive or dramatic. This lack of emotional intelligence can make them difficult to connect with on a deeper level, as they seem oblivious to the feelings and experiences of those around them.
5. They’re obsessed with social media validation.
Shallow people are often glued to their phones, constantly checking for likes, comments, and followers on social media. Their self-worth seems to hinge on the number of virtual thumbs-ups they receive, rather than real-life connections and accomplishments. You might notice that they’re more interested in curating a perfect online image than actually living their lives.
6. They have a superficial understanding of the world.
Shallow people tend to avoid deep or meaningful conversations about complex topics like politics, philosophy, or social issues. They might offer simplistic opinions or avoid the subject altogether, preferring to stick to lighthearted banter or gossip. This lack of intellectual curiosity reveals a shallow understanding of the world and a reluctance to engage with ideas that challenge their worldview.
7. They prioritize popularity over genuine connection.
For a shallow person, being popular and well-liked is often more important than forming genuine connections. They might surround themselves with a large group of acquaintances, but struggle to develop deep and meaningful friendships. You might notice that their relationships are transactional, based on what they can get from other people rather than mutual respect and support.
8. Their interests are fleeting and superficial.
Shallow people tend to have a wide range of interests, but they rarely delve deep into any of them. They might try a new hobby every week, but quickly lose interest when it becomes challenging or requires sustained effort. This lack of commitment and focus reveals a shallow approach to life, as they flit from one thing to the next without truly engaging with anything.
9. They avoid difficult conversations or emotional vulnerability.
Shallow people tend to shy away from discussions that require emotional depth or introspection. They might change the subject when things get too real, make a joke to deflect from a serious topic, or simply shut down and avoid the conversation altogether. This aversion to vulnerability reveals a fear of intimacy and a lack of willingness to connect on a deeper level.
10. They’re constantly looking for external validation.
Shallow people crave validation from people. They need constant reassurance that they’re attractive, successful, or popular. This need for external approval can manifest in various ways, such as fishing for compliments, seeking attention on social media, or bragging about their accomplishments. You might notice that they’re easily hurt by criticism and seem to derive their self-worth solely from other people’s opinions.
11. They lack genuine interest in anyone else.
A shallow person might ask how you’re doing, but they’re not really listening to your answer. They’re more interested in talking about themselves, their own problems, or the latest gossip. You might feel like you’re not truly seen or heard by them, as they seem incapable of genuine interest in your life or experiences.
12. They’re easily swayed by trends and fads.
Shallow people are often trend-chasers. They’re quick to adopt the latest fashion trends, follow popular diets, or jump on the bandwagon of the newest social media challenge. This behavior stems from a desire to fit in and be seen as cool or trendy, rather than a genuine interest in the activity or idea itself, the American Psychological Association explains. You might notice that their opinions and interests change frequently, depending on what’s currently popular.
13. They’re afraid of being alone.
Many shallow people have a deep-seated fear of being alone. They constantly surround themselves with people, even if those relationships are superficial or unfulfilling. This fear stems from a lack of inner resources and a reliance on external validation for their sense of self-worth. You might notice that they jump from one relationship to the next, unable to tolerate solitude or introspection.
14. They lack a sense of purpose or meaning in life.
Shallow people often drift through life without a clear sense of purpose or direction. They might focus on short-term pleasures and material possessions, but lack a deeper understanding of what truly matters to them. This can lead to feelings of emptiness, dissatisfaction, and a constant search for external validation. You might notice that they struggle to articulate their values, goals, or aspirations beyond superficial desires.
15. They’re resistant to personal growth and change.
Perhaps one of the most frustrating things about shallow people is their resistance to personal growth and change. They might be content with their superficial lifestyle and unwilling to challenge themselves or explore new ideas. This stagnation can be a major obstacle to forming deeper connections with them, as they seem unable or unwilling to evolve beyond their current state of being.
