15 Things Strong, Independent Women Need From The Men We Date

Being a strong woman means you’re ambitious and driven and make things happen. You’re not submissive or happy to let your boyfriend take the lead. You’re the lead character in your life, ambitious, outgoing, and badass. You really need a guy who does these 15 things if you’re going to be happy with him:

  1. He challenges you. There’s no doubt that you challenge him and stimulate him mentally, but it’s boring if he’s not doing the same in return. You want a man who makes you think, questions you, and even takes a stand if your confidence is looking a little like arrogance. He can tell you when you’re wrong, which is quite refreshing.
  2. He sees other men flirting with you and doesn’t feel threatened. You don’t have time for drama. When you’re out and a guy hits on you, you wouldn’t dream of spending the night consoling a jealous, controlling boyfriend. Hell no. You need a man who’s secure and feels proud to be the one you’ve chosen instead of jealous of the guys trying to chase you. Of course he should be proud—you’re totally captivating and he’s lucky AF to have you.
  3. He shows his support and is your biggest cheerleader. You’re driven and chasing your dreams, so the last thing you need is a guy who’s not going to be cheering you on. You won’t stand for a man like that. Every boss lady needs a man applauding her in the wings.
  4. He’s constantly ticking goals off his list. While you’re making things happen and building your own empire, he’s also successful and ambitious. You need this in a partner because you want someone who’s on the same wavelength. Plus, if he’s concentrating on his goals as much as you are, he’ll be more likely to support you as you achieve yours.
  5. He appreciates your bluntness. As a strong, independent woman, you don’t waste your time sugarcoating things. You’re honest and sometimes blunt, and you want a guy who thinks in the same way you do and loves this side of you. It cuts out a lot of drama.
  6. He takes action. You roll your eyes at guys who are all talk and no action. You need a guy who’s unafraid to be bold, fearless and chase down whatever he wants in life—including your relationship.
  7. He reminds you to loosen up. Your life can be busy and stressful, and sometimes you forget to let your hair down. A guy who reminds you to smell the roses and unwind a bit after a busy day at the office is the kind of guy you need in your life so you don’t neglect your need for TLC and relaxation.
  8. He talks to you, not at you. If he’s a strong, successful man, he might be one of those who end up lecturing you instead of having a conversation. Ugh, so damn annoying. You need a man who enjoys conversing but won’t talk down to you because he’s threatened by you. That’s a man-child!
  9. He allows you to open up. Every strong woman needs a partner who makes her feel comfortable enough to let her guard down. You want to be able to open up, express yourself and be vulnerable without the fear that he’s going to use your words against you. Although the world sees you as badass, you need a partner who can see you when you’re not feeling that strong and remind you why you’re amazing.
  10. He isn’t clingy. You’ve got places to be and things to tick off your to-do list, so the last thing you need is a man who’s going to be texting you “where are you?” messages halfway into your day or sulking because you’re too busy to meet for drinks. Please, man, go get a life!
  11. He knows how to be alone. It’s great when he’s got his own stuff going on so he’s not always in your pocket. It’s also a sign of maturity if a guy can have his own hobbies, friends and things to do, without depending on you to make his day. Especially since you might be too busy making your own.
  12. He knows when to back off. Although he’s there to offer support, he also needs to know when to back the hell away, like if you’re in a dangerously bad mood. One of the struggles alpha females face is finding people who can handle them at their worst by knowing when to support them and when to leave.
  13. He asks for your opinion. When he’s thinking about what book to buy or where to invest his money, he’ll ask you for your opinions. He makes it clear that he values what you have to say, and not just when choosing a tie in the morning.
  14. He treats you like one of the guys. No, not in your relationship, but when it comes to your success. He doesn’t change the way he speaks to you about success or goals because you’re a woman. Rather, he treats your success as one of his buddy’s, meeting you on the same level instead of making you feel that your success doesn’t match up to his.
  15. He keeps up with you. It’s not easy keeping up with an alpha female who’s busy AF and living a fabulous life, so you need a guy who can accept your stressful schedule and full social life without getting left behind or being intimidated by you. If he can do that, he’s a keeper.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.