15 Traits Of People Who Are Alone By Choice

15 Traits Of People Who Are Alone By Choice

Being alone doesn’t always mean being lonely. For some, solitude is a conscious choice, a preference that brings peace, self-discovery, and a deeper connection with their inner world. These people aren’t antisocial or misanthropic; they simply find solace and fulfillment in their own company. Here are some of the traits of people who actually love being on their own.

1. They value their independence.

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People who choose solitude often have a strong sense of independence. They love making their own decisions, setting their own pace, and living life on their own terms. They don’t rely on anyone else for validation or entertainment, and they’re comfortable navigating the world solo.

2. They enjoy their own company.

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They’re not afraid of silence or boredom. In fact, they often relish the opportunity to spend time alone with their thoughts and feelings. They might engage in solitary activities like reading, writing, or simply daydreaming. They find these moments of introspection to be enriching and rejuvenating. As Verywell Mind notes, their mental health tends to be better for it.

3. They have strong boundaries.

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They’re clear about what they need and what they’re willing to tolerate. They don’t hesitate to say “no” when necessary, and they’re not afraid to distance themselves from relationships that drain their energy or compromise their values. They protect their personal space and prioritize their own well-being.

4. They’re extremely self-aware.

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As Psychology Today notes, people who spend time alone tend to have a deep understanding of their strengths, weaknesses, needs, and desires. They’re in tune with their emotions and can identify their triggers and coping mechanisms. This self-awareness allows them to make choices that align with their values and goals.

5. They’re happy with simplicity.

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They don’t need a lot of external stimulation or material possessions to feel happy. They find joy in the simple things in life, like a good book, a quiet walk in nature, or a meaningful conversation with a friend. They prioritize experiences over things, and they’re not easily swayed by trends or consumerism.

6. They have a rich, active inner world.

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Their minds are active and curious. They enjoy exploring new ideas, learning new skills, and delving into their creative passions. They might keep a journal, engage in artistic pursuits, or simply spend time pondering life’s big questions. Their inner world is a source of endless fascination and inspiration.

7. They’re selective about their relationships.

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They value quality over quantity when it comes to relationships. As a result, they tend to cherish deep, meaningful connections with a few close friends and family members. They’re not interested in superficial interactions or large social gatherings. They prefer to invest their time and energy in relationships that are mutually supportive and enriching.

8. They’re comfortable with silence.

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They don’t feel the need to fill every moment with chatter or noise. They can sit in silence with another person and feel completely at ease. They appreciate the power of nonverbal communication and the intimacy that can be created through shared silence. That’s because they understand that sometimes the most meaningful connections are formed without words.

9. They’re self-reliant.

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They’re capable of taking care of themselves in all aspects of life. They can cook their own meals, manage their finances, fix things around the house, and navigate any challenges that come their way. They don’t depend on other people to meet their basic needs, and they enjoy the freedom that comes with self-reliance.

10. They embrace solitude as a gift.

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They see solitude not as a punishment but as a privilege. They cherish the opportunity to disconnect from the demands of the outside world and focus on their own thoughts, feelings, and goals. They view solitude as a time for self-discovery, creativity, and personal growth.

11. They have a strong sense of self.

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They know who they are and what they stand for. They’re not easily swayed by peer pressure or societal expectations. They make choices based on their own values and intuition, even if it means going against the grain. Their strong sense of self allows them to live authentically and confidently, Healthline explains.

12. They’re creative and resourceful.

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They find innovative solutions to problems and can make the most of limited resources. They’re not afraid to experiment and try new things. They enjoy finding creative outlets for their energy and ideas, whether it’s through art, music, writing, or other forms of self-expression.

13. They’re mindful of their energy.

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They’re aware of how different people and environments affect their energy levels. They prioritize activities and interactions that nourish and uplift them, while avoiding those that drain or deplete them. They understand that protecting their energy is essential for their well-being and happiness.

14. They’re comfortable with imperfection.

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They don’t strive for perfection in themselves or others. They accept their flaws and imperfections as part of being human. They embrace the messy, unpredictable nature of life, and they don’t let fear of failure hold them back from pursuing their dreams.

15. They find joy in the present.

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They don’t dwell on the past or worry excessively about the future — they appreciate the beauty and wonder of the present moment. It’s the simple things in life that make them happiest, whether that’s a rainy day in bed, their first cup of coffee in the morning, or getting out of work early on a Friday. They find joy in the everyday moments of life, and they’re grateful for the opportunity to experience them fully.

Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.
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