You meet a guy and he seems so nice! He treats you the way you deserve, goes out of his way for you, and makes you feel great about yourself. You fall head over heels and can’t believe you met someone so kind. Well, not to burst your bubble, but he could be a fake. The unfortunate thing about fake nice guys is that they’re not that easy to spot. So, here are 15 tell-tale signs of a fake nice guy.
1. He’s Nice All Of The Time.
At first thought, this probably sounds like a dream! Who wouldn’t want to date someone that was nice 24/7? Well, I’ll tell you the problem with that—that’s not real life. No one is constantly “on” or feeling their best. We all have bad days and someone’s ability to show you when they’re having one doesn’t make them “not nice,” it makes them real and authentic.
2. He Tells You He’s A “Nice Guy.”
It sounds kind of obvious, but if someone has to tell you they’re nice, they’re probably not all that nice. Because the truth is, the guys who are really nice aren’t using their time to pat themselves on the back, they’re using it to show you—through actions and not just words—their nice nature.
3. Your Friends And Family Are Suspicious Of Him.
We’ve all been in situations where we’ve had rose-colored glasses practically superglued to our faces. When you’re in like with someone, it’s so easy to overlook any questionable qualities because they’re making an effort not to show you. But other people—like your friends and family—are likely to see through that. So listen if they speak up.
4. He Never Owns Up To Mistakes.
Lots of fake guys could win an Oscar for the way they play the victim. He’ll gaslight you into thinking that he couldn’t have done what you said he did because “he’s a nice guy.” He’ll even find a way to turn it on you, where you end up confused and apologize. If he can’t admit his faults, that’s a red flag and you should run.
5. His Words And Actions Don’t Match Up.
As I said before, actions mean more than words. If a guy is telling you he really likes you or that he wants to get to know you but makes no effort to plan real dates or ask you questions about yourself, well, he’s a fake. You deserve better.
6. He Seems Overly Concerned About Your Well-Being.
Everyone wants someone to care about them! But if a guy is so concerned about you to the point where he’s telling you things like “your friends aren’t your real friends,” that’s manipulation. He’s trying to control you under the guise of concern, but we’re not going to let that happen.
7. Something Doesn’t Feel Right.
You know those people who are so OVERLY nice that it actually crosses into creepy territory? You have to trust your gut, especially when it comes to dating, and if something doesn’t feel good, it probably isn’t. Before you know it, they’ll be throwing out subtle jabs and backhanded compliments, so it’s best to just stay away.
8. He Has A Tantrum When He Doesn’t Get His Way.
The thing about fake nice guys is that as soon as they don’t get what they want, they get upset. A truly nice guy would be able to express himself in a calm and collected way even if he was disappointed. A fake nice guy shows you a “nice” front, but underneath it is a man who doesn’t know how to communicate in a productive way.
9. The Nice Things He Does For You Feel Transactional.
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Have you ever been taken out to a nice dinner where you and the guy were really vibing and things seemed to be going well? And then, when the check comes and you’re getting ready to leave, the mood turns. You can feel that the guy expects you to reciprocate the “nice thing” he just did for you. But real talk: a truly nice guy wouldn’t make you feel like you had to return a favor, he’d do something simply because it made you happy.
10. He’s Always Looking For Your Approval.
When a guy is overly nice, that could mean that he’s just trying to get external validation. This type of guy is probably really insecure about himself, so making you like him is a way for him to boost his self-worth and self-esteem. But that’s not your job, so if he seems like he’s doing something nice just so you’ll appreciate him, it’s time to break up.
11. He Overdoes It On The Compliments.
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Everyone loves to be complimented, but when the flattery starts to get into the over-the-top territory? It becomes a bit of a problem. Here’s what we mean: someone who praises you for every little thing you do even if it’s not that big of a deal (like how he said your sip and paint drawing looked like a Matisse) isn’t genuine and, frankly, kind of annoying.
12. He Tells You Unnecessary Lies.
If you invite him to something, he’ll tell you he’s out of town when he’s really just grabbing dinner with someone else. Or he’ll tell you that you look amazing when you’re running on two hours of sleep. Instead of doing the nice and honest thing (like saying he has plans but offering to reschedule), he lies for no reason and that’s a turnoff.
13. He Tries Too Hard.
He’ll step in and do things for you that you could easily do yourself, like the fact that you’ve never opened a door around him. Sure, that’s chivalrous, but when it gets to the point where he won’t even let you open the bathroom door for yourself, it becomes weird and controlling. If he doesn’t act this way around everyone, then you seriously need to consider why he’s acting this way around you.
14. He Doesn’t Like Conflict.
The thing about fake nice people is that they want to be loved, so they won’t do anything to put that in jeopardy. So if you find that he’s always agreeing with you or not speaking up when he disagrees with something, he’s not being genuine.
15. He’s Not So Nice When People Aren’t Around.
For fake nice guys, it’s all about putting on a show. So the moment he feels like he’s able to drop the mask, he’ll do it. You might see this kind of behavior around service workers or waitstaff because he doesn’t feel like he needs to impress them. Gross.
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