Navigating the treacherous waters of dealing with a narcissist can feel like enduring a relentless storm when their favorite pastime is belittling you in front of an audience. It’s a well-worn tactic designed to amplify their ego while diminishing yours. In this listicle, we’ll explore 15 surprising ways that narcissists love to ridicule you in public, providing a glimpse into their manipulative games.
1. They Accuse You of Not Knowing How to Relax
Narcissists have a knack for turning what should be laid-back social situations into high-pressure performances. Imagine sipping a coffee with friends, but suddenly, the conversation is steered toward how you supposedly “never know how to relax properly.” They might comment on your inability to unwind, painting your attempts at relaxation as something that requires effort rather than enjoyment. Ridicule is often veiled as a concern, as if they’re genuinely worried about your inability to chill out. But in reality, it’s their way of implying that you lack the sophistication to enjoy life.
In public settings, this ridicule serves a dual purpose: it entertains the narcissist and reminds everyone else of their superiority. They undermine your confidence by implying that your relaxation is forced or awkward. It’s an insidious way to plant seeds of self-doubt, making you question your social abilities. Such tactics often leave the recipient feeling self-conscious long after the public encounter; this is a classic case of how narcissists twist the narrative to imply they are a victim, according to Psychology Today.
2. They Serve Up the Old Compliment-Insult Hybrid

Narcissists are masters of the backhanded compliment; it’s a classic form of gaslighting, according to Forbes. This “compliment is a blend of praise and put-down that leaves you questioning whether you’ve been complimented or insulted. Picture a scenario where they say, “Wow, you’re really brave for wearing that,” which can seem like admiration but is often just a dig. The ambiguity keeps you on your toes, and that’s precisely what they want. This tactic is all about creating confusion and making you feel uneasy.
In public, these hybrid compliments are particularly effective because they force you to accept the insult or appear unable to take a joke. It’s a win-win for the narcissist, who can then play the role of the misunderstood comedian. This undercuts your confidence and coerces you into defensive explanations, which only serve to entertain them further.
3. They Make a Passive-Aggressive Joke

Narcissists love to hide their ridicule behind the guise of humor. In a group setting, they might make a joke at your expense, then dismiss your discomfort with a “just kidding!” These jokes are usually thinly veiled criticisms, but because they’re delivered humorously, they can be dismissed as harmless fun. The real intent, however, is to make you look foolish while they play the charismatic comedian because they have little regard for others’ feelings and need to disguise their fragile sense of self, according to Psych Alive.
These situations can be particularly challenging to navigate publicly because questioning the joke’s intent can make you seem overly sensitive. This allows the narcissist to maintain the upper hand while you’re left feeling silly for taking offense. It’s a clever way to keep you in a constant state of unease, unsure when the next “joke” will come.
4. They Offer a Public Critique of Your Performance
Narcissists often love acting as if they are the ultimate authority on everything, including your skills and talents. In public, they might critique your performance in a hobby or skill, making it seem like they are just giving you constructive feedback. But the real aim is to diminish your achievements and make you question your abilities. This type of ridicule is particularly damaging because it targets your strengths and turns them into perceived weaknesses. They do this because they have pathological envy and need to undermine your or anyone else’s success, according to an article in Psych Central.
They effectively position themselves as superior by undermining your confidence in your areas of expertise. The narcissist’s critique often comes across as knowledgeable, which might win over any onlookers to their side. This leaves you feeling isolated and unsupported, possibly even doubting your capabilities.
5. They Give You Obnoxiously Loud Praise
Imagine a situation where a narcissist praises you but in an excessively loud manner, ensuring everyone around hears. While it might sound like a compliment, the reality is that the volume and context can make it seem sarcastic or belittling. This tactic is designed to draw attention and can make you feel more like a spectacle than a recipient of genuine praise. It often has the opposite effect of genuine appreciation, making you feel awkward.
In public settings, this can be particularly humiliating as it puts you on the spot in an uncomfortable way. The narcissist basks in the attention, regardless of whether it’s positive or negative. They thrive on your discomfort, using it to fuel their ego while maintaining the guise of being generous with praise.
6. The Hand Out Unsolicited “Tips”
Narcissists often mask their ridicule as helpful advice, giving you “tips” on how to improve. These critiques are usually unsolicited and offered in public to maximize embarrassment. By positioning their comments as helpful, they disguise their true intention to belittle you. It’s their way of asserting dominance, showing everyone they know best.
This tactic can be particularly deflating in public, as it implies that you’re not competent enough on your own. The narcissist enjoys the dual satisfaction of showcasing their “expertise” while putting you down. This leaves you with an uncomfortable choice: appear ungrateful for the “advice” or accept the implied criticism.
7. They Offer Faux Concern
Narcissists might express exaggerated concern for your well-being, publicly stating your “issues.” This might involve commenting on your stress levels, diet, or personal struggles, framing it as genuine care. However, the underlying intent is to highlight your vulnerabilities. Their public display of concern is less about you than about showcasing their empathy.
Such comments can catch you off-guard, making you feel exposed and vulnerable. It forces you into a position where you must defend yourself against their supposed “help.” This approach allows the narcissist to appear caring while positioning you as someone who needs their guidance.
8. They Interject With Know-It-All Intention
In conversations, narcissists often interrupt with their “superior” knowledge, belittling your contributions. Whether you’re sharing an idea or a story, they’re quick to cut in and correct or outshine you. This isn’t just an assertion of dominance; it’s a way to undermine your credibility. The interruption is often framed as helpful, making it harder to call out.
In public, these interruptions serve to show others that they are the authority, relegating you to a secondary role. It can be incredibly frustrating, especially if you’re trying to share something meaningful. The narcissist’s constant need to prove their superiority takes precedence over respectful conversation.
9. They Resort to the Exaggerated Eye Roll

Narcissists are masters of non-verbal ridicule, and the exaggerated eye roll is one of their favorite tools. It’s an expression of disdain meant to belittle you without uttering a word. When done in public, it sends a clear message to those around you that your contributions or presence are unworthy. This kind of ridicule is dismissive, making you feel small and insignificant.
The eye roll is often accompanied by a smirk or a condescending sigh, amplifying its effect. It’s a subtle yet powerful way to undermine your confidence and assert their perceived superiority. This non-verbal cue is insidious because it’s hard to confront without seeming overly sensitive.
10. They Hijack Your Story
Every time you share a story or experience, a narcissist is likely to hijack it with their version. They might start with, “That reminds me of the time when I…” and suddenly, it’s all about them. This tactic redirects attention and minimizes your experiences. It’s not just an assertion of their importance but a way to subtly suggest that your stories don’t measure up.
This can be both infuriating and embarrassing in public, as it cuts you off and sidelines your narrative. The narcissist fills the space with tales of their exploits, leaving you feeling marginalized. This continual hijacking can discourage you from sharing, allowing the narcissist to dominate conversations. [
11. They Mock Being in Agreement

Narcissists often agree with you in a mocking tone, turning what could be a supportive gesture into ridicule. This seemingly positive action feels sarcastic and insincere, designed to belittle your opinion. In a group setting, they subtly undermine you while maintaining the facade of agreement. This fake support can be disheartening and confusing, making you question your own perceptions.
The mock agreement serves to entertain the narcissist and those around while leaving you isolated. It’s a passive-aggressive tactic that is difficult to challenge without appearing combative. The narcissist enjoys the confusion it creates, thriving on your discomfort.
12. They Offer a Pseudo-Apology
Narcissists might offer a pseudo-apology when they are called out for their behavior. This is a form of ridicule disguised as contrition, often framed as, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” It shifts the blame onto you, implying that your feelings, not their actions, are the problem. Publicly, it makes them appear reasonable while dismissing your valid concerns.
This type of ridicule can be particularly frustrating because it masquerades as an apology but offers no genuine remorse. It’s a tactic that leaves you feeling invalidated, as the focus has shifted to your reaction rather than their behavior. The narcissist remains blameless, reinforcing their perceived superiority.
13. They Overshare Without Your Consent

Narcissists love to share personal details about you in public, often without your consent. This can include anecdotes or information you’d prefer to keep private, shared under the guise of being an interesting tidbit. By doing this, they strip away your control over your narrative. This public oversharing is humiliating, especially concerning sensitive or embarrassing information.
The narcissist thrives on the attention these stories bring, regardless of the discomfort they cause you. By framing it as harmless sharing, they sidestep any responsibility for your embarrassment. It’s another way to assert dominance and control over the social dynamic.
14. They Throw a Public Pity Party

When a narcissist feels like they need to regain control or attention, they might throw a public pity party. This involves making statements that paint them as a victim while subtly casting you as the antagonist. It’s a manipulative tactic designed to garner sympathy and shift focus away from the real issue. By doing this publicly, they rally support while undermining your position.
This tactic can leave you feeling helpless and frustrated, as the narrative has been twisted to paint the narcissist in a favorable light. The narcissist enjoys the ensuing attention and the validation it brings, even if it comes at your expense. It’s a strategic move to maintain their social standing and control.
15. They Dismiss You in Disguise

Narcissists often dismiss your contributions or ideas in a way that seems benign but is belittling. They might say something like, “Oh, that’s interesting,” in a tone that suggests otherwise. It’s a subtle way to undermine your worth and ideas, casting doubt on your contributions. This dismissal can be particularly damaging in public, as it influences how others perceive you.
The disguised dismissal keeps the narcissist in a position of power, as they subtly assert that your ideas are not worth serious consideration. It creates an environment where your input is consistently undervalued. For the narcissist, it’s a way to maintain control while keeping you in a state of self-doubt.