Dealing with a parent who constantly criticizes your partner can be a real challenge. It’s tough to watch someone you love be scrutinized and judged, especially when it’s coming from family. But don’t worry, you’re not alone in this. Many people struggle with this same issue. Luckily, there are things you can do to navigate this tricky situation. Here are some tips on how to handle a parent who just can’t seem to keep their opinions to themselves.
1. Have a heartfelt conversation with your parent.
Sit down with your parent and calmly explain how their criticism makes you feel. Share specific examples of comments that have been hurtful. Make it clear that you love and respect them, but their negativity is affecting your relationship with both them and your partner.
2. Set firm boundaries.
Let your parent know that while you appreciate their concern, you won’t tolerate disrespectful remarks about your partner. Explain that you are happy in your relationship and that their criticism is unwelcome. You can even try to redirect the conversation if it starts to head in a negative direction.
3. Stand up for your partner.
Don’t let your parent’s comments go unchecked. Politely but firmly defend your partner and their character. Remind your parent of all the positive qualities your partner possesses and how much they contribute to your life and happiness, Psych Central advises.
4. Limit exposure to negativity.
If your parent’s criticism is relentless and doesn’t seem to be changing, you may need to limit your exposure to them. This doesn’t mean cutting them out of your life completely, but it might mean spending less time with them, especially when your partner is present.
5. Focus on strengthening your relationship with your partner.
Your relationship with your partner is the most important thing. Make sure you’re both on the same page and have a united front against the criticism. Spend quality time together, show each other support, and reinforce the positive aspects of your relationship.
6. Get support from people you trust.
Talk to trusted friends, family members, or even a therapist about what you’re going through. Sharing your feelings and experiences can be incredibly helpful and provide you with a fresh perspective. You might also find that other people have been through similar situations and can offer valuable advice.
7. Encourage your parent to get to know your partner better.
If your parent’s criticism stems from a lack of understanding or familiarity, encourage them to spend more time with your partner in a relaxed setting. This could be a casual dinner, a fun outing, or simply a conversation over coffee. The more they get to know your partner as a person, the less likely they are to criticize them.
8. Remember that you can’t control your parent’s behavior.
Ultimately, you can’t force your parent to change their ways. You can only control your own reactions and how you handle the situation. Focus on what you can control, like setting boundaries and protecting your relationship with your partner. Accept that your parent might never fully approve of your partner, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a happy and fulfilling relationship with both of them.
9. Try to understand your parent’s perspective.
While their criticism may seem unfair, try to put yourself in your parent’s shoes. They may have concerns rooted in their own experiences or cultural background. Understanding their perspective doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but it can help you navigate the conversation with more empathy and potentially find common ground.
10. Don’t take it personally.
It’s easy to feel hurt and defensive when your partner is being criticized, but try to remember that your parent’s comments are often more of a reflection of their own issues and anxieties than a genuine assessment of your partner’s character. Try to separate yourself from the criticism and focus on maintaining your own well-being and the health of your relationship.
11. Practice patience and understanding.
Changing someone’s deeply ingrained opinions and behaviors takes time. Don’t expect your parent to transform overnight. Be patient, understanding, and persistent in communicating your feelings and boundaries. With time and effort, you may be able to shift their perspective or at least minimize the impact of their criticism on your relationship.
12. Maintain a sense of humor.
Sometimes, a little laughter can go a long way in defusing tension. If your parent makes a particularly absurd or exaggerated comment, try to find the humor in it. A lighthearted response can disarm their negativity and remind everyone that it’s not worth getting too worked up over.
13. Find allies within your family.
If you have siblings or other family members who are supportive of your relationship, enlist their help. They can offer a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, and even intervene when your parent starts to criticize your partner. Having a united front can make a big difference in how you navigate this situation.
14. Consider professional help.
If your parent’s criticism is causing significant strain on your relationship or mental health, consider seeking professional help, Forbes urges. A couples’ therapist can help you and your partner develop strategies for dealing with the criticism, while a family therapist can facilitate communication and understanding between you, your partner, and your parent.
15. Prioritize your happiness and well-being.
At the end of the day, your happiness and the health of your relationship are what matters most. Don’t let your parent’s negativity overshadow the love and joy you share with your partner. Focus on building a strong, supportive, and fulfilling relationship that can withstand any criticism that comes your way.
