Did you know that growing up without much money messes with your head (yes, even if your bank account looks healthier now)? I’ve been there, and after talking with psychologists and others who grew up in similar situations, I’ve noticed some patterns that are hard to shake. Even when the money’s flowing, those old habits and thought patterns stick around like that one relative who doesn’t know when to leave the party.
1. You Feel Guilty About Any Purchase Over $20
Spending money can feel like a guilty pleasure even with a comfortable bank balance. You might find yourself lingering in a store, debating whether to purchase a $25 shirt, while others freely buy multiple items without hesitation. This internal conflict often stems from deeply ingrained beliefs about money and self-worth. As Fidelity explains, such guilt can arise when spending clashes with personal values or learned financial behaviors
2. You Hoard the “Just in Case” Stuff
You meticulously save every plastic container, thinking it might be useful someday, and your freezer is packed with leftovers you’ll likely never consume. Growing up in poverty instills the belief that every item could be valuable in the future, leading to a reluctance to discard anything according to an article in Engineer Your Finances. Drawers filled with sauce packets from takeout orders, possibly older than some of your relationships, are a testament to this mindset. While friends may not understand your hesitation to throw things away, you recall times when having extra supplies meant the difference between making it through the month or not
3. You’re Always Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop
Even with a substantial savings account, the fear of financial disaster can be overwhelming. This anxiety is common among retirees, who often worry about outliving their money, leading them to spend less than recommended during their retirement years. Studies published in The Wall Street Journal show retirees with significant savings withdraw an average of only 2.1% annually, well below the advised 4% rate, due to fears of depleting their resources. This cautious approach reflects a deep-seated concern that financial stability is temporary, despite evidence suggesting they could safely spend more.
4. You Can’t Say “No” to Family
When you grow up poor, family is often all you’ve got, and that mindset follows you into success. You feel obligated to help everyone because you remember when they helped you survive the tough times. Even when you know Uncle Joe is never going to pay back that “loan,” you still give him money because saying no feels like betraying your roots. You’re trying to lift everyone up with you, even when it’s dragging you down. Besides, the guilt of saying no feels worse than the stress of giving money you can’t really spare.
5. You Don’t Trust “The System”
Banks, investments, credit cards—they all feel like traps waiting to snap shut. You watched your parents get burned by fine print and hidden fees too many times to count. The idea of putting your money in anything more complicated than a savings account makes your stomach churn. You’ve got a deep-seated belief that the system is rigged against people like you. And even when someone explains how investing works, you can’t shake the feeling that it’s all just gambling with fancier words.
6. You’re Obsessed with Food Security
Your fridge and pantry are always overstocked, and running low on groceries triggers instant anxiety. You buy extra whenever there’s a sale, even if you don’t need it right now. The memory of empty cabinets and creative meals made from whatever was left has left its mark. You feel physically uncomfortable if you can’t see plenty of food in your kitchen. You still eat everything on your plate, even when you’re full, because wasting food feels like tempting fate.
7. You’re Stuck in the “More” Mindset
Having enough never feels like enough because you remember when you had nothing. You keep pushing for more—more savings, more income, more security—even when you’re well past what you need. Every time you hit a financial goal, instead of celebrating, you immediately move the goalposts. You can’t enjoy what you have because you’re too focused on getting more of it. The idea of being “comfortable” financially feels like a dangerous lie.
8. You Feel Like an Imposter
Every time you buy something nice or go somewhere fancy, you’re convinced everyone can tell you don’t belong there. You catch yourself explaining your purchases to people who didn’t ask, just to prove you can afford them. The ghost of your poor past makes you feel like a fraud in nice restaurants or luxury stores. You’re constantly worried someone’s going to call you out as a pretender. No matter how much success you achieve, part of you still feels like that kid wearing hand-me-downs.
9. You’re an Expert at Catastrophizing
Every financial decision becomes a worst-case scenario planning session in your head. A surprise $100 expense sends you into a spiral of “what-ifs” that ends with you living under a bridge. You automatically assume any financial opportunity is too good to be true. Your mind can turn a minor setback into a complete disaster in five seconds flat. And you spend more time preparing for financial disasters than enjoying your current stability.
10. You’re Chronically Overworked
The idea of turning down work, even when you don’t need it, feels impossible. You take on extra shifts or side gigs even though your main job pays enough. Every minute not working feels like money being wasted, just like your parents always said. You have trouble taking vacation days because the idea of not earning money gives you anxiety. “Work-life balance” sounds like a luxury you can’t afford, even when you can.
11. You Can’t Accept Gifts
Receiving presents makes you deeply uncomfortable because you’re always thinking about the cost. You immediately start planning how to reciprocate, even when people tell you not to worry about it. The idea of someone spending money on you feels wrong, like you’re taking advantage somehow. You find yourself trying to talk people out of giving you gifts. And birthday parties or holidays fill you with dread because of the obligatory gift exchanges.
12. You’re Hyper-Aware of Prices
You still know the exact price of everything, even when you don’t need to anymore. You can’t help but notice when something goes up by a few cents, just like your mom always did. Shopping with friends becomes stressful because you can’t turn off the mental calculator. You remember prices from years ago and still use them as reference points. You catch yourself saying things like “I remember when this was only…” way too often.
13. You’re Terrified of Debt
The idea of any kind of loan sends you into a panic, even for things like mortgages that could benefit you long-term. You’d rather save up for years than take out a reasonable loan for something you need now. Credit cards feel like dangerous weapons that could destroy your life at any moment. You’ve seen how debt destroyed people in your community growing up. And even “good debt” feels like a trap waiting to spring.
14. You’re Constantly Preparing for Loss
You’ve got backup plans for your backup plans when it comes to money. Every purchase comes with a mental calculation of how you could sell it if times get tough. You’re always thinking about how you could downsize or cut back if needed. You keep skills from your struggling days sharp, just in case you need them again. Part of you is always ready to go back to survival mode at a moment’s notice.
15. You Can’t Stop Comparing Prices
You’ll drive across town to save fifty cents on gas, even though you’re spending more on the drive. Every purchase requires checking prices at multiple stores, even when the difference is minimal. You know the price of everything at every store in your area, just like your parents did. You feel physically uncomfortable buying something if you haven’t compared prices extensively first. And the idea of buying something without checking if it’s on sale first feels almost morally wrong.
