As annoying as it is to hear, there are some of us out there who just aren’t really dating material — at least not at the moment. We might not want to admit to ourselves that we’re driving guys away, but admitting there’s a problem is usually the first step to solving it. If your dating life sucks, it might actually have a lot to do with you. Here are some signs that you’ve got things to work on before you’re ready for love:
- You enact wicked double standards when dating. There’s nothing wrong with having a high standard for who you date as long as you apply that same standard to yourself. If you can’t be happy with your equal, you need to check yourself.
- In all honesty, you truly hate the opposite sex. Not all men are shallow, commitment-phobic losers. That toxic mentality will end up seeping into your relationship, and it’ll affect how you treat your partner. Get it together before you try to find a partner.
- People have regularly told you that you go after the wrong type of guys. Maybe you should listen to them?
- You’re not great at self-care. The general population will want to date someone who’s reasonably fit, smells nice, and has all their teeth. That doesn’t mean you need to be a supermodel, but a little bit of hygiene will go a long way in how attractive you are. If you don’t bother to brush your teeth, bathe, or wash your clothes, your dating pool will be greatly diminished.
- You’re desperate. Do whatever you have to in order to shake off the desperation. Seriously. Get a hookup buddy or just learn how to chill on your own. Whatever you do, do not even try to date when you’re desperate. It ruins everything.
- You’ve got a serious addiction. Dealing with an addiction of any kind — drugs and alcohol, shopping, gambling — is no time to be looking for love. Until you have that baggage checked, it may be best to go solo for a while.
- Deep down, you know you treated your exes like dirt. Most abusers know what they’re doing is wrong to some degree. They just choose not to be better people, and instead to shift the blame onto someone else. If you’re abusive in any way, a cheater, or just a bad partner, do us all a favor and stop dating immediately.
- You expect everything about that date to be handed to you on a silver platter. Sorry, princess, love doesn’t work that way. It’s a give and take, not a take and take.
- Your career is nonexistent. It doesn’t matter whether you’re male or female. If you don’t have a solid job, or a career path you’re pursing, it’s not attractive. Chasing after your dreams and having some kind of financial stability is hot, and most people will have that as a basic standard when choosing who to date.
- If you feel someone is beneath you, you treat them like crap. This is a sign that you really need to work on certain entitlement issues before you go on a date. Otherwise, who’s to say that you won’t eventually feel like your beau is beneath you, too?
- You’ve been called “creepy” a lot. Creepy can be defined in a number of ways, most commonly, it refers to a person who has boundary issues or who doesn’t understand that you can’t force a guy to be attracted to you. If you’ve been pegged as a creepy person, you’ll need to work on behaving/appearing more acceptably.
- You honestly can’t communicate without throwing a tantrum or resorting to passive aggression. In any relationship, dating or otherwise, you need to be able to talk things out in a mature, normal manner. If you can’t do that, then no one in their right mind will stay with you.
- You believe that people should date you just because you’re so pretty/nice/rich. Attraction is not something you can force. You’re not entitled to a date, ever, no matter what the movies may tell you. If you feel like you’re entitled to sex or affection in any way, you’ll likely never get what you’re chasing.
- You’re not over your ex. Get over the last one before you start the next.
- You’re bitter and jaded as hell. No lie, we all get this way once in a while. However, if you make a point to tell people how awful people are just because they won’t date you, and how true love doesn’t exist, it’s a bad sign. You may want to put your dating life on pause until that bitterness dissipates a bit.
