Encountering a high-level narcissist can feel like being caught in a whirlwind of confusion, manipulation, and emotional exhaustion. At first, they appear confident, charming, and kind, but their toxic traits soon come to light. Here are 16 signs you’re dealing with one, plus some tips on how to protect yourself.
1. They Have a Grandiose Sense of Self
Narcissists believe they are extraordinary and better than everyone else. They’ll boast about their talents, achievements, and importance, often inflating the truth to make themselves look superior.
How to Deal: Don’t buy into the hype. Compliment them if you feel it’s warranted, but stay grounded in reality. Their inflated self-image doesn’t have to influence how you see yourself or others.
2. They Feed Off Attention and Admiration
Narcissists live for praise. They constantly seek validation and won’t hesitate to redirect any conversation back to themselves. If they feel unappreciated, expect them to ramp up their self-promotion to uncomfortable levels.
How to Deal: Resist the urge to feed their need for attention. Keep conversations balanced, and don’t feel pressured to affirm them constantly. They may not like it, but maintaining firm boundaries is key.
3. They Have Selective Memory
They often have a “convenient” memory, selectively forgetting events that don’t suit them or portray them in a negative light. This tactic also makes you think you can’t trust your reality.
How to Deal: Hold them accountable. Keep a record of meaningful conversations and decisions. Don’t let them gaslight you into doubting your memory.
4. They’re Missing a Sensitivity Chip
Narcissists lack the ability to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. They can come across as emotionally detached or indifferent, especially when others are in pain or celebrating joy.
How to Deal: Accept that they may never respond as you’d hoped. Don’t expect empathy or take their lack of support personally. Instead, seek emotional support from those who genuinely care.
5. They Act Like They’re a Celebrity
Narcissists expect special treatment and privileges, whether or not they’ve earned them. They’re the kind of people who cut in line or demand favors, and when they don’t get what they want, they often throw a fit.
How to Deal: Stand your ground. Don’t cave to unreasonable demands; don’t go out of your way to accommodate their sense of entitlement. You have the right to say no.
6. They Lay the Guilt-Trips on Thick
Narcissists are experts at manipulating situations and people to get what they want. Whether they use guilt, charm, or outright deception, they know how to pull strings to their advantage.
How to Deal: Be mindful of their tactics. Don’t let them guilt-trip or manipulate you into doing things that make you uncomfortable. Recognize when you’re being played, and don’t be afraid to push back.
7. They’re Power Hungry
Narcissists often define themselves by external success—wealth, status, or power. They constantly compare themselves to others and believe they deserve to be at the top.
How to Deal: You don’t need to compete or prove yourself. Let them chase status while you focus on what truly matters to you. Keep your values intact and avoid getting sucked into their comparison games.
8. They Run People Over
They see relationships as transactional. Narcissists will use people to get ahead or fulfill their needs and then discard them when they’re no longer useful.
How to Deal: Be cautious with how much you give. Check whether the relationship feels one-sided, and set limits if you notice you’re being used. You’re not obligated to keep giving without receiving.
9. Their Rage is Simmering Just Below the Surface
Narcissists have thin skin. If their ego feels bruised or they don’t get their way, they can erupt in anger, whether with passive-aggressive remarks or full-on rage.
How to Deal: Stay calm and don’t engage. Their anger is often more about their insecurities than anything you did. Try to de-escalate the situation by not feeding into it, but don’t tolerate abuse.
10. Their Magnetic Charm is Fake
When you first meet them, narcissists can be incredibly charming and magnetic. They know how to win people over, but once they feel they have you hooked, their true, more self-centered nature emerges.
How to Deal: Be cautious of charm that feels too good to be true. Recognize that it’s a tool they use to gain control. Take your time before fully trusting someone, especially if they come on too strong.
11. They Rewrite the Narrative to Avoid Responsibility
Narcissists will do anything to avoid responsibility. When something goes wrong, they’ll blame others, deny their involvement, or rewrite history to suit their narrative.
How to Deal: Don’t waste energy trying to get them to own up. Instead, focus on keeping yourself clear-headed. Document important conversations if needed, and don’t let them rewrite the story to absolve themselves.
12. They Make Out You’re Crazy
Narcissists are notorious for gaslighting—making you question your reality by denying things they’ve said or done or downplaying your feelings.
How to Deal: Trust your instincts. If something feels off, it probably is. Keep a record of important interactions, and lean on trusted friends or professionals to help validate your experience.
13. They Lock You in an Emotional Prison
Narcissists often work to isolate their targets from friends or family. The more isolated you are, the easier you are to control.
How to Deal: Maintain your support system. Stay connected with friends and family, even if the narcissist tries to pull you away. The more grounded you are in healthy relationships, the harder it is for them to isolate you.
14. They Pretend to be Weak and Vulnerable
A high-level narcissist might play the victim or pretend to be vulnerable, all as a way to manipulate your emotions and gain sympathy.
How to Deal: Be compassionate but firm. Recognize when their vulnerability is being used to control you and don’t let guilt dictate your actions. Healthy boundaries are still important.
15. They Love-Bomb You Hard
In the early stages of a relationship, they’ll overwhelm you with affection, gifts, and attention, creating a false sense of security and devotion. Which quickly evaporates.
How to Deal: Take it slow. Don’t get swept away by grand gestures; be wary of people who move too fast emotionally. Real love builds over time, not overnight.
16. They Deliberately Sabotage People
Narcissists often sabotage others when threatened by someone’s success or happiness. This could mean giving bad advice, stirring up drama, or undercutting your confidence.
How to Deal: Recognize the sabotage for what it is: an attempt to bring you down. Stay confident in your abilities and decisions, and don’t let their insecurities affect your progress.
