When you’re in a relationship with someone who has narcissistic traits, things might start off like a dream—charming, exciting, all the butterflies. But after a while, the cracks begin to show, and a completely different person starts to emerge. If you’re feeling exhausted, confused, or like you’re always the one giving, you might be dealing with a partner who has some narcissistic tendencies.
1. It’s Always About Them
No matter what you’re talking about, they somehow make it all about themselves. You could be sharing a big win or venting about a rough day, and somehow, the conversation always seems to end up focusing on their problems, their achievements, their drama. It’s like there’s only one person on stage, and you’re just the audience expected to applaud.
2. They Act Like They’re the Main Character
Your partner walks around like the world revolves around them. They expect to be treated like royalty and get annoyed if things don’t go their way. Need to change plans because you’re sick? Doesn’t matter—they’ll act like it’s a huge inconvenience. It’s not just confidence; it’s a level of entitlement that makes it seem like they’re living in their own little movie, where they’re the star and everyone else is just an extra.
3. Criticism? Oh, They’re Not Having It
If you’ve ever tried to give them even the slightest bit of constructive feedback, you probably saw how quickly things can escalate. They can’t take criticism without acting like you’ve just declared war on them. They’ll blow up, get defensive, or find a way to spin the whole thing back onto you. Their ego is so fragile that any hint they’re less than perfect sends them into panic mode.
4. They’re Always the Victim
No matter what happens, they’re never at fault. Bad day at work? It was their boss’s fault. Argument with you? It’s because you pushed their buttons. If things don’t go as planned, they’ll tell you all about how the universe seems to be against them. They act like life’s unfair to them while conveniently ignoring their own bad behavior that led to the situation in the first place.
5. Their Appearance (or Image) Is an Obsession
They don’t just care about looking good…they’re obsessed with it. It’s all about the perfect outfit, the perfect photo, and making sure everyone knows how great their life is. Social media is their stage and they’re constantly performing, making sure they get all the likes and comments that feed their ego. To them, it’s not about being real—it’s about looking perfect to everyone else.
6. They’re Master Manipulators
It’s not always obvious, but your partner has a knack for twisting situations to get what they want. They might guilt-trip you, make you doubt your own memory, or throw a tantrum just to get their way. If you often find yourself apologizing when you’re not even sure what you did wrong, it’s because they’re really good at making you feel like you’re the problem.
7. Apologizing Is Not Their Thing
You’re probably not going to hear a genuine “I’m sorry” from them. If they do apologize, it’s more like, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” which, let’s be honest, isn’t really an apology at all. They’d rather twist the situation, find excuses, or make you feel bad for even bringing it up. They physically can’t admit they were wrong because that “weakness” doesn’t fit the image they’ve built up in their head.
8. Empathy Isn’t Their Strong Suit
When you’re feeling down or struggling, don’t expect them to really get it. They might say the right words, but it’s more like they’re checking a box than actually understanding what you’re going through. And if you’re upset with them? Forget it. They’ll act like you’re overreacting or completely ignore your feelings because, in their world, they come first.
9. They Were Super Charming… at First
In the beginning, they seemed like the perfect partner—thoughtful, sweet, saying all the right things. But once they felt secure in the relationship, that charm started to fade. Now it’s all about mood swings, dismissiveness, or even straight-up coldness. Narcissists love to use their charm to hook you, and now that they’ve got you, they don’t see the need to keep it up.
10. They’re Addicted to Validation
If your partner is constantly fishing for compliments, updating social media to get likes, or dropping hints to make you praise them, you’re not imagining it. They need constant validation to feel good about themselves, and when they don’t get it, they might get moody or even lash out. Their self-esteem isn’t coming from within—it’s coming from everyone else’s approval.
11. Rejection Feels Like the End of the World
If you say “no” to something they want or don’t give them the reaction they were expecting, you’d think you’d just delivered the worst news of their life. They can’t take rejection without feeling personally attacked, and they’ll let you know that by sulking, getting angry, or giving you the cold shoulder. “No” isn’t just a word—it’s a declaration of war.
12. They Love Bragging, Even If They Have to Stretch the Truth
You’ve probably noticed how they can turn even the smallest achievement into a big deal. And sometimes, if you pay close attention, you might realize they’re exaggerating or adding details that didn’t actually happen. They have this incessant need to constantly be building up this image of themselves as someone who’s impressive and exceptional.
13. They Hate Being Outshined
If someone else is in the spotlight—even if it’s you—your partner can’t handle it. Instead of being happy for the person getting attention, they might try to downplay their success, find flaws, or just flat-out change the subject back to themselves. It’s like they see other people’s wins as threats to their own greatness.
14. Grudges Are Their Specialty
Once you’ve had a disagreement or done something they didn’t like, they don’t forget. It doesn’t matter if it was months or years ago, best believe that they’ll bring it up again when it suits them. They’re keeping a scorecard of every little thing you did “wrong,” and they’re not afraid to use it against you in future arguments.
15. They Have to Be in Control
Your partner seems to need to call the shots on everything—whether it’s what to eat, where to go, or even how you spend your free time. If things don’t go their way, it can cause all kinds of drama. Sure, everyone has preferences, but for a narcissist, it’s about making sure they’re in charge and you’re following along.
16. Everything’s Either the Best or the Worst
There’s no in-between with them. It’s either the most amazing thing ever or a complete disaster. If things are going their way, they’re on cloud nine, but the minute something goes wrong, they’re having a full-blown meltdown. They see the world in extremes, which makes it hard to navigate normal ups and downs in the relationship. Even a simple disagreement can seem like the end of the world.
