16 Habits That Instantly Make You More Elegant and Respectable

Contrary to popular belief, being elegant and respectable is not about designer clothes or a fancy job title. More often than not, it’s the little things—those daily habits and behaviors that speak volumes about a person’s character. Want to up your elegance game and earn more respect? Here’s a list of habits that can make all the difference.

1. Mind your manners

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“Please,” “Thank you,” and “Excuse me.” These magic words never go out of style and using them regularly shows consideration for others and a touch of class. Hold doors open, offer your seat to someone who needs it more, and always RSVP to invitations. These small courtesies can make a big impression.

2. Speak well of others

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Gossip might be tempting, but it’s a fast track to losing respect. Instead, make it a habit to speak positively about people, even in their absence. If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all. Your reputation for kindness will precede you.

3. Be punctual

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Showing up on time (or even a few minutes early) for appointments and meetings is a sign of respect for others’ time according to Forbes. It also shows a high level of reliability and organization…both highly respectable traits. If you’re running late, always call ahead to let the other person know.

4. Practice good posture

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Stand up straight and sit tall. Good posture not only makes you look more confident and elegant but, according to the Cleveland Clinic, it’s also great for your health. Bonus: it can instantly make you look slimmer and more put-together. Win-win!

5. Cultivate a calm demeanor

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Keeping your cool under pressure is a hallmark of elegance. Take a deep breath before reacting to stressful situations. Speak calmly and avoid raising your voice, even in disagreements. A level head and a steady voice will always command respect.

6. Dress with intention

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This doesn’t mean you need to wear a three-piece suit to grab coffee. It’s more about putting thought into your appearance and dressing appropriately for each occasion. Clean, well-fitting clothes that are in good shape go a long way. Remember, how you present yourself is a form of non-verbal communication.

7. Embrace continuous learning

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Whether it’s picking up a new skill, learning about different cultures, or staying updated on current events, stay curious and open to new ideas. Why? Well, it’s not only great for your brain, but a commitment to lifelong learning is both elegant and respectable. Mind = sharp. Conversations = interesting.

8. Use proper table manners

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Knowing which fork to use for salad might not come up in your everyday life, but basic table manners say class with a capital “C.” Chew with your mouth closed, use your napkin, and wait for everyone to be served before eating. These habits show consideration and refinement.

9. Show empathy

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Try to understand others’ perspectives and feelings, even if you disagree. Offering comfort or support to someone in need, without expectation of return, is one of the most respectable things you can do. It shows you have character and emotional intelligence.

10. Maintain personal hygiene

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This might seem obvious, but it’s crucial. Regular showers, clean hair, brushed teeth, and subtle (if any) fragrances go a long way in making a good impression. Being well-groomed is a form of self-respect that others notice.

11. Keep your word

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If you say you’ll do something, do it. Reliability is incredibly respectable. If circumstances change and you can’t follow through, communicate promptly and honestly. Your integrity will earn you respect in both personal and professional spheres.

12. Offer genuine compliments

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Take notice of others’ efforts and achievements, and offer sincere praise. But just make sure it’s genuine—false flattery is easily detected and can backfire. A well-timed, heartfelt compliment can brighten someone’s day and showcase your emotional intelligence.

13. Practice financial discretion

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Elegance is definitely not about flaunting wealth. Avoid discussing money matters in casual settings, and never brag about how much you make. Being discreet about finances, whether you’re doing well or struggling, is a mark of class.

14. Handle conflict gracefully

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Disagreements are inevitable, but how you handle them speaks volumes. Stay calm, listen to the other person’s perspective, and focus on finding solutions rather than placing blame. The ability to disagree respectfully is highly admirable.

15. Give back to your community

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Whether it’s volunteering your time, donating to causes you believe in, or simply helping a neighbor, giving back shows a sense of social responsibility. It demonstrates that you care about more than just yourself, which is incredibly respectable.

16. Practice discretion

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Knowing when to speak and when to remain silent is an art. Don’t overshare personal information or others’ secrets. Being known as someone who can keep secrets will earn you trust and respect.

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Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.