Marriage is complicated. You might love your partner and have built a life together, but sometimes you might catch yourself looking at your divorced friends and feeling a little envious. While they seem to be living their best lives, you’re still in a marriage that doesn’t quite feel right anymore. But even with that envy, the idea of leaving your marriage can still be terrifying. Here are 16 reasons you might secretly envy your divorced friends, even though you’re not ready to make the leap yourself.
1. They Have the Freedom to Do What They Want
One of the first things you notice about your divorced friends is how much freedom they have. They make decisions without having to check in with anyone—whether it’s going on a spontaneous weekend trip or just spending the day exactly how they want. It’s hard not to wish you had that kind of freedom too, especially when your marriage feels full of compromises.
2. They Don’t Have to Walk on Eggshells
If your marriage has been rocky for a while, you might feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, trying to avoid conflict or upsetting your partner. Your divorced friends don’t have to worry about that anymore, and you’ve noticed yourself envying that. They get to be themselves, say what they need to say, and not worry about triggering an argument.
3. They’ve Rediscovered Themselves
Over the years, it’s easy to lose a little bit of yourself in a marriage. While you’re stuck in a rut, your divorced friends are in full-on “rediscovering themselves” mode. They’re picking up old hobbies, trying new things, and figuring out who they are outside of a relationship. If you feel like you’ve lost touch with your own identity, it’s hard not to envy the fresh start they get to have.
4. They Don’t Have to Compromise All the Time
Marriage is all about compromise, and sometimes, that’s exhausting. Your divorced friends don’t have to deal with that anymore. They don’t have to constantly negotiate with someone else. Meanwhile, you might feel like you’re always giving up a little bit of yourself to make the relationship work.
5. They’re Open to New Love (or Just Having Fun)
Even though divorce is tough, a lot of your friends are starting to dip their toes back into the dating pool. The excitement of meeting someone new, going on fun dates, or even just flirting again is something you can’t help but feel a little envious of—especially if the romance in your marriage has faded.
6. They’ve Created Their Own Space
Your divorced friends probably have their own space now, where everything reflects their style and preferences. No more arguing over furniture or décor—just their own tastes and aesthetics. If you feel like your home doesn’t quite feel like your space anymore, it’s hard not to admire the control and independence they have over their environment.
7. They Seem Less Stressed and More Relaxed
Marriage can come with a lot of emotional baggage, especially if things aren’t going well. But your divorced friends often seem so much more relaxed and happy. Without the daily stress of navigating a strained relationship, they get to focus purely on what makes them feel good. Meanwhile, you might feel like you’re carrying the weight of trying to hold things together.
8. They Don’t Have to Deal with In-Laws
Dealing with in-laws can be one of the trickiest parts of marriage. Whether it’s holiday obligations, family drama, or trying to meet their expectations, it can get exhausting. Your divorced friends don’t have to worry about that anymore. While you’re balancing family dynamics, they’ve cut ties and don’t have to deal with those pressures.
9. They Can Prioritize Their Career Without Guilt
For your divorced friends, focusing on their career doesn’t come with guilt or tension anymore. They can take new job opportunities, work late, or switch careers without having to worry about how it affects their partner. If you’ve ever felt like you had to sacrifice career moves for the sake of your marriage, you’re probably looking at your divorced friends with a smidge of envy.
10. They Have Complete Control Over Their Finances
Money is a huge source of conflict in marriage. Whether it’s differing spending habits or disagreements about saving, financial stresses can get the better of us all. Your divorced friends get to make their own financial decisions now, no questions asked. If you’re tired of arguing over money, it’s hard not to wish you had that same control over your finances.
11. They Don’t Have to Fake It Anymore
When a marriage isn’t going well, there’s often a lot of pretending—acting like everything is fine when it really isn’t. Your divorced friends, on the other hand, have been through that difficult process and now they don’t have to fake it. They’re living their most authentic life, and they’re free from the pressure to keep up appearances. You might be thinking to yourself how that honesty can be refreshing when you’re stuck wearing an emotional mask.
12. They Can Make Plans Without Checking In
Remember when you could make plans without having to factor in someone else’s schedule or preferences? Your divorced friends are living that life again. They can say yes to last-minute invites, plan spontaneous trips, or spend the weekend however they want—without worrying about compromising with a spouse. Meanwhile, you might feel like every decision requires a discussion or negotiation.
13. They’re Not Afraid of Being Alone
One of the hardest things about considering divorce is the fear of being alone. But your divorced friends have faced that fear head-on, and many of them have realized it’s not as bad as they thought. In fact, they’re thriving on their own, building self-confidence, and learning to enjoy their independence again. If you’re scared of what life might look like without your partner, it’s hard not to admire the strength they’ve found in being alone.
14. They’re Reinventing Themselves
Divorce often brings a new chapter of reinvention. Whether your friends are starting new hobbies, moving to a new city, or completely overhauling their lives, they’re embracing change in ways that might feel impossible to you right now. Watching them start fresh can make you wonder what it would be like to hit the reset button on your own life and pursue things that excite you again.
15. They’re Building Healthier Relationships
After divorce, many people take time to reflect on what went wrong and what they want in future relationships. Your divorced friends might be dating again or starting new relationships with clearer boundaries and better communication. Meanwhile, you’re feeling stuck in a marriage that no longer feels fulfilling or healthy.
16. They Had the Courage to Leave
Above all, what you probably envy most about your divorced friends is their courage. Leaving a marriage is one of the hardest, scariest decisions a person can make, and they did it. They faced the unknown, went through the emotional turmoil, and came out stronger on the other side. Seeing them live happily, after such a tough decision, might leave you wondering if you have the strength to do the same.
