16 Signs Your Bestie Is Actually Your Biggest Enemy

It sucks to think that the person you confide in and turn to, the person who knows your biggest weaknesses and most cringeworthy secrets, could actually turn on you. Has she done it already? Here are 16 signs that your best friend might actually be your enemy disguising cruel intentions with a smile.

1. She’s too nice to your boyfriend. It’s cool that she makes an effort with your new boyfriend, but um, does she have to cross her legs like that or give him a lingering look? Wait, is she flirting with him? It might not be anything more than harmless charm, but honestly, it’s inappropriate. Can’t she go flirt with someone else? If she can’t respect your boundaries, she’s not a real friend.
2. She does your lipstick. When you go visit her, she’s quick to whip out her makeup kit and tell you that your lipstick needs to be touched up. Or she’ll fluff up your hair and tell you to get a haircut. Whoa, controlling much? It doesn’t do your confidence any good being around someone who always makes you feel bad about yourself.
3. She hangs up when it’s your turn. You’re always there for her when she needs to cry about her boss or boyfriend for hours but the minute you need her to listen, she’s too busy, telling you she’ll call you later or just not sounding interested. Messed up.
4. Her way is always better. She’ll always try to one-up your suggestions for places to go for dinner or where to shop. It’s like she knows better and you don’t have any taste. Oh please. She needs to get off her high horse already!
5. She’s always late. It’s understandable if she rocks up to dinner 10 minutes late because of traffic, but if she’s always arriving late and doesn’t even make excuses anymore, it’s not on. It’s a lack of respect for whatever else you’ve got going on in your life.
6. You feel weird after seeing her. It’s sort of like an unsettled feeling that you can’t shake easily after hanging out with your bestie. You can’t even say exactly what it is that leaves you feeling like that, but you know that there’s something about her that causes it. Listen to your gut!
7. She plays down your success. When she finds love or starts an exciting business, you’re really happy for her, but when you’re the one basking in the limelight for a bit, she’s either nowhere to be found or she downplays your success. Say you just got promoted at work. She might say, “Ah, you’re so lucky” when really it was hard work that got you where you are. Or she might ask, “So you’re the boss now?” to which you’d have to reply, “No, I’m his assistant.” There you go: in one comment, she’s just made you feel bad about your promotion.
8. Her social media comments are about you. You don’t want to sound vain, but it sometimes feels like the person she’s complaining about on Facebook could be you. Hmmm. It’s not cool that she’d take to social media to make such veiled comments. Why not just be open and speak to you directly?
9. She pressures you. It sometimes feels like high school all over again with how your friend tries to get you to do things you don’t want to do, whether it’s going to a spinning class or trying a new cocktail. When you don’t want to, you’re called “boring”, “lame” or something else insulting.
10. She makes you uneasy. When you invite your friend to a work function, you find yourself trying to keep her away from your colleagues out of fear of what she’ll say. She tends to make insulting comments to strangers or just steal the spotlight from everyone. A friend who can’t respect other people in your life is not a good friend!
11. She’s friends with someone who hurt you. It might feel childish to tell your bestie that it hurts when she hangs out with a friend who cheated on you with your ex-boyfriend, but you shouldn’t have to. If she’s truly your friend and she knows what that person did to you, she won’t support them… unless she’s not as caring as you thought.
12. She’s not a feminist. She isn’t sympathetic of what women go through or how unfairly they’re treated. Come to think of it, she’s not much of a sisterhood kind of girl. Perhaps because she only looks out for herself. This is not the type of team player you want in your circle of sisters.
13. She wants the bad news. When life hands you lemons, a real friend will sit and listen to how you feel and help you to feel better. A frenemy, on the other hand, will want all the horrible details without offering you much support. It’s like she gets off on your bad times. Sick.
14. She makes you feel guilty. When you’re having a great time in your life, your friend seems to be having a horrible time. It seems to follow this pattern often. The result? You end up feeling guilty for celebrating because it’s unsupportive of what she’s going through. It’s really her way to keep you down and get your attention.
15. She changes in public. She’s kind and sweet when you spend one-on-one time with her, but when other friends are present she changes. She isn’t as nice to you and might even put you down in front of others to boost her popularity, calling it a “joke.” WTF?
16. She’s negative. You might think whenever your friend encourages you not to do something, such as achieve your dreams, it’s just that she’s a negative person in general. But it could be more sinister. She might just be negative with you, hoping to discourage you from living your life because she doesn’t want to be left behind. Toxic!