16 Struggles Of Being A Woman That’s Bad At Expressing Her Feelings

Heartless. Cynical. Uncaring. They’re all just words you hear every day from people who don’t understand. Expressing emotions is hard for you. It’s not that you don’t have them, you just don’t know how to express them. Instead of accepting you, many people try to force you to open up (because that really helps when you’re already feeling uncomfortable). Maybe once they understand what you go through all the time, they’ll be more accepting when you’re not shouting your emotions from the rooftops.

  1. Even your friends don’t “get” you. It takes a while to find good friends who take the time to understand that you really do care, you just don’t always say it. You’re always dealing with friends who walk away just because they can’t grasp that you’re not an emotionless robot, even if that’s how it seems on the outside.
  2. You constantly have to pretend you’re more upset than you are. You shouldn’t have to do this, but it gets people off your back when everyone else is crying and you’re the only one with dry eyes. Sure, the movie was touching, but why is everyone sobbing?
  3. Mushy stuff is just uncomfortable. Everyone wants to hug or talk about their deepest emotional experiences, but you just want to shake hands and talk about the weather. You’re not trying to ruin the moment, you just hate getting all mushy. You’re pretty sure it physically hurts when there’s too much hugging.
  4. You get accused of resting bitch face a lot. You’re sitting there minding your own business when you get accused of looking bitchy. Of course, this just makes you feel bitchy. Having a resting bitch face doesn’t mean that you’re miserable or pissed off. Wouldn’t be kind of creepy to sit around with a huge clown-like smile on your face 24/7?
  5. People always think they can fix you. When you explain that you just have problems expressing your emotions, suddenly everyone’s an expert. They offer you endless advice on better communication, but you just want the conversation to end.
  6. You’re always being accused of not saying “I love you” enough. You don’t say those three little words lightly. You also feel that if you’ve said it once, you’re good. You’ve told the person how you feel, and you don’t understand why they keep pestering you to say it over and over.
  7. Hearing “I love you” makes you freeze. You know that you’re supposed to say it back. The problem is, you’re just not comfortable. Love is such as big deal and you don’t want to say it if you’re not 100% sure you feel it. Besides, what happens if it comes out wrong when you do say it? It’s better to freeze up and change the subject.
  8. You do actually express emotions, just not around anyone else. You’re not heartless and unemotional – you just have a nice thick wall that prevents those emotions from boiling over when others are around. When you’re alone, you yell at nobody, laugh at TV, cry after a breakup and all the other normal emotions.
  9. You struggle to comfort emotional friends. Your brand of comfort often comes off as hard or cold. Since you don’t react that way in front of other people, you’re not sure how that whole comforting thing works. You’re honestly trying to make your friends feel better, but it’d be much easier if they just told you what to do to fix it.
  10. You use sarcasm as a crutch. Any time you’re in a potential emotional situation, you opt for sarcasm instead. Honestly, you’re an expert at it by now. It’s meant to lighten the mood or get people off your back, but those who don’t understand you just think you’re being a cynical bitch.
  11. Guys are put off by your “cold” attitude. Sure, you think the guy coming up to you is hot – you just don’t know how to express what you’re feeling. You don’t do the flirty, touchy-feely thing too well. When you’re not immediately fake laughing at his bad jokes, he thinks you’re cold and moves on to another woman.
  12. Opening up at all is the most painful experience ever. Screw childbirth. You’ve heard it hurts, but it can’t be as bad as having to finally open up. It’s like some put your heart and gut in a vice grip, twisted a few times and then tried to yank both out through your eyes. Whoever you’re opening up for better damn well appreciate it.
  13. You’re accused of being mean, heartless or emotionally unavailable. Friends and boyfriends are cruel. Just because you don’t express your emotions like they do, they cut you down. You never meant to hurt anyone. Now you’re the one in pain and they don’t care.
  14. You actually feel bad for guys sometimes. Men are always in trouble for not expressing emotions. As a woman who can’t express her own, you understand where they’re coming from. It’s not that they don’t have them. They just express them in different ways.
  15. You like people, but they just don’t get you. You actually love being around people. Sure, they might make you feel uncomfortable sometimes, but you still enjoy it. When you’re sitting at home alone, it’s not because you hate everybody. You’re just tired of nobody understanding you.
Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.