Sadly for us, awful people don’t wear a flashing sign that says, “Step Back, I’m toxic.” Instead, they hide behind a facade of charm and normalcy, but their actions and words leave you questioning their true intentions. Here are 16 subtle yet unmistakable signs that someone is genuinely horrible and best kept out of your life.
1. They Have a “Crazy” Ex (Or Three)
Beware of anyone who has nothing but horror stories about all their exes. Sure, we’ve all had a relationship or two go wrong, but when every ex they’ve ever had is described as “crazy,” it’s a huge red flag. Awful people rewrite the narrative to paint themselves as the victims, conveniently leaving out their role in the chaos. The fact that they can’t take any responsibility for their past relationships shows that they are likely still causing the same damage in their current ones.
2. They Use Personal Information Against You
Opening up to an awful person can be dangerous. They’ll seem understanding and empathetic, encouraging you to share your deepest fears and insecurities. But once they’ve got that information, they’ll store it and use it against you later. Whether during an argument or to manipulate you into doing what they want, they turn your vulnerability into a weapon, making it hard to trust them—or anyone else—again.
3. They Pretend to Be the Hero
Awful people love playing the hero, even when no one needs saving. They insert themselves into situations to solve problems that don’t exist or make things worse so they can “fix” them later. They’re always angling for credit and praise, even if it means creating drama so that they can swoop in and clean it up. It’s all about feeding their ego, not helping anyone.
4. They Stir up Drama and Chaos
Awful people always seem to find themselves in the middle of chaos, yet they claim to hate drama. They’re often the ones stirring the pot behind the scenes. Whether it’s subtle gossip, planting seeds of doubt, or nudging people into conflict, they quietly fuel the fire and then sit back and act like the innocent victim. It’s exhausting being around someone who’s always surrounded by tension—and worse, who enjoys it.
5. They’re Masters of the Backhanded Compliment
If they say insidious backhanded compliments like “Wow, you look great for your age,” they might be rotten. Awful people love to disguise insults as praise, making you feel good for a second, then leaving you questioning whether you’ve just been dissed. They enjoy planting seeds of doubt about your appearance, intelligence, or choices. It’s their way of tearing you down while pretending they’re being kind.
6. Their Kindness Comes with Strings Attached
Their generosity seems genuine initially, but it doesn’t take long before their favors come with conditions, guilt, and strings attached. They’ll do something nice for you, then use it as leverage to manipulate you later. Whether bringing up a favor at an inconvenient time or making you feel indebted, their kindness is just a tool to control you. Soon, you’ll question whether they do something because they care or expect something in return.
7. They Disguise Insults as Humor
An awful person will say something mean or offensive, then immediately follow it with, “I’m just joking,” to dodge accountability. They use humor as a weapon, testing how far they can go without being called out. It’s their sneaky way of being cruel while pretending they’re harmless. And if you confront them, they’ll accuse you of being too sensitive, adding another layer of manipulation.
8. They Have a Weird Obsession with Status
Status matters more to them than life itself. They’ll constantly brag about who they know, where they’ve been, and their importance. More concerning, though, is how they treat people based on perceived status. A genuinely awful person will be charming to the CEO and rude to the server, showing that their kindness is based solely on who they think is “worth it.” They’re only friendly when it benefits their social standing.
9. They Have a Victim Mentality
They are never at fault for anything. If something goes wrong, it’s always someone else’s doing it. They’ll spin stories to make themselves the victim, even when they’re the common denominator in every disaster. Whether in friendships, work, or relationships, they refuse to take responsibility, making you feel like you constantly have to play the role of the rescuer or therapist.
10. They Turn Every Interaction into an Emotional Minefield
Awful people excel at making you feel bad for even the most minor things. If you cancel plans, they’ll act deeply hurt. If you stand up for yourself, they’ll twist your words to make you seem like the bad guy. They’re experts at guilt-tripping, turning every situation into an emotional minefield where you’re constantly walking on eggshells, afraid to disappoint or set them off.
11. They’re Obsessed with Justice (If it Benefits Them)
Whenever someone else gets something they don’t, they suddenly become the champions of fairness and justice. But the moment things go their way, they forget all about it. Awful people love to preach about fairness when feeling left out or disadvantaged, but their moral compass is entirely self-serving. They couldn’t care less about evening the playing field when they’re on top.
12. They Only Apologize to Get What They Want
If they apologize, it’s not out of genuine remorse but because they want something from you. Their apologies are full of qualifiers and excuses; worse, they’ll apologize for how you felt rather than for what they did. It’s all a tactic to get back in your good graces without ever having to change their behavior. Their “sorry” is just a shortcut to avoid consequences.
13. They Always “Accidentally” Sabotage Others
You’ll find that genuinely awful people have a knack for sabotaging others, but always in a way that seems innocent or unintentional. They’ll forget to tell you about an important meeting, offer lousy advice at the worst possible moment, or conveniently leave out critical information. And when everything falls apart, they’ll act surprised and innocent, leaving you questioning if it was an accident.
14. They Love to Play “Devil’s Advocate”
Awful people love to play devil’s advocate, not because they care about debate or balance but because they enjoy stirring the pot. They’ll defend indefensible positions to see how people react and love making others uncomfortable. It’s not about intellectual curiosity—it’s about causing friction and watching the sparks fly. They thrive on tension and always seem to find a way to make things worse, all while pretending they’re just trying to “add perspective.”