Not everyone is a great judge of character. Some people are easily fooled by smooth talkers or charming manipulators, while others have a sixth sense for spotting genuineness a mile away. If you want to surround yourself with authentic, trustworthy people, it pays to be a good judge of character yourself. In this article, we’ll explore 16 traits that are common among people who excel at reading people. Master these, and you’ll be well on your way to building a bullshit-free social circle.
1. They trust their gut.
Good judges of character have learned to listen to their instincts. If something feels off about a person, even if they can’t put their finger on why, they pay attention to that feeling. They don’t second-guess themselves or make excuses for someone else’s questionable behavior. Trusting your gut doesn’t mean judging someone prematurely, but it does mean staying alert to red flags and not dismissing your own intuition.
2. They observe body language.
People who are skilled at reading people know that actions often speak louder than words, Psychology Today notes. They pay close attention to body language, noting things like eye contact, facial expressions, and posture. They can tell when someone’s words don’t match their nonverbal cues, and they use that information to get a more complete picture of the person’s character. By observing how someone carries themselves, they can often pick up on insincerity, nervousness, or hidden agendas.
3. They ask probing questions.
Good judges of character don’t just accept things at face value. They ask questions that go beyond surface-level small talk, seeking to understand someone’s values, motivations, and past experiences. They might inquire about a person’s family dynamics, their biggest challenges in life, or what they’re most passionate about. By digging deeper and showing genuine interest, they’re able to get a more well-rounded sense of who someone is and what makes them tick.
4. They look for consistency.
People with good character judgment pay attention to patterns in behavior. They notice whether someone’s actions match their words over time, and they’re wary of people who frequently contradict themselves or change their stories. They know that consistency is key when it comes to assessing someone’s reliability and integrity. If a person’s behavior is erratic or they’re constantly making excuses for not following through, that’s a red flag that their character may be lacking.
5. They don’t ignore red flags.
Good judges of character don’t make excuses for bad behavior or brush off warning signs. If they notice someone being rude to waitstaff, lying about small things, or consistently showing up late, they take note. They understand that these seemingly minor infractions can be indicative of larger character flaws. Instead of giving the benefit of the doubt indefinitely, they’re willing to confront issues head-on and set boundaries with people who exhibit problematic behavior.
6. They observe how people treat others.
Skilled character judges pay close attention to how people interact with those around them, especially those who may be considered “beneath” them in some way. They notice if someone is kind to their subordinates, respectful to service workers, and considerate of people from all walks of life. They know that the way a person treats other people when there’s nothing to gain says a lot about their true colors. If someone is only nice to people they want to impress, that’s a major red flag.
7. They listen more than they talk.
People who are good at reading people know the value of being a good listener. They don’t dominate conversations or constantly steer the topic back to themselves. Instead, they ask questions and give people space to share their thoughts and experiences. By being fully present and engaged in the conversation, they’re able to pick up on subtle cues and get a deeper understanding of the person they’re talking to. Good listening skills are essential for accurately assessing someone’s character.
8. They trust actions over words.
Good judges of character know that talk is cheap. They pay more attention to what people do than what they say. If someone constantly makes grandiose promises but never follows through, that’s a clear sign that their word can’t be trusted. On the other hand, if someone consistently shows up, keeps their commitments, and goes out of their way to be helpful, that speaks volumes about their integrity. Actions always reveal a person’s true priorities and values.
9. They don’t fall for flattery.
People who are skilled at reading character are not easily swayed by empty compliments or excessive flattery. They can tell the difference between genuine appreciation and manipulation. If someone is constantly buttering them up or telling them what they want to hear, they’ll be on guard. They know that truly genuine people don’t need to rely on over-the-top praise to win people over. Instead, they express appreciation through actions and sincere, specific compliments.
10. They look for emotional intelligence.
Good judges of character place a high value on emotional intelligence. They look for people who are self-aware, empathetic, and able to regulate their own emotions. They know that emotionally intelligent people are more likely to be reliable, considerate, and able to handle conflicts in a mature way. On the other hand, people who are constantly flying off the handle, blaming people, or refusing to take responsibility for their actions are likely to be toxic and draining to be around.
11. They observe how people handle stress.
Life is full of challenges and curveballs, and good judges of character pay attention to how people navigate tough situations. They notice if someone remains calm and level-headed under pressure, or if they become defensive, hostile, or fall apart. They know that the way a person handles stress says a lot about their resilience, problem-solving skills, and ability to maintain healthy relationships. If someone consistently crumbles or lashes out when things get tough, that’s a red flag.
12. They look for humility.
People who are good at assessing character value humility. They’re drawn to people who are confident in their abilities but don’t feel the need to constantly brag or put anyone down. They know that truly accomplished people let their actions speak for themselves and are often more interested in lifting people up than hogging the spotlight. On the flip side, people who are always boasting or belittling people are usually trying to compensate for their own insecurities, per Psych Central.
13. They observe how people handle disagreements.
Good judges of character pay close attention to how people handle conflict and differing opinions. They notice if someone is able to disagree respectfully, listen to other viewpoints, and find common ground. They’re wary of people who get defensive, dismissive, or resort to personal attacks when challenged. They know that the ability to have productive, civilized disagreements is a hallmark of maturity and good character.
14. They look for genuine interest in other people.
People who excel at reading character can tell when someone is genuinely interested in people. They notice if a person asks thoughtful questions, remembers details from previous conversations, and goes out of their way to be supportive. They’re cautious of people who only seem interested in others when they want something or when it benefits them in some way. Genuine interest and care for other people is a clear sign of good character.
15. They pay attention to how people treat their loved ones.
Good judges of character observe how people interact with their closest loved ones. They notice if someone speaks about their family and friends with love and respect, even when venting about frustrations. They’re wary of people who constantly complain about or belittle their loved ones, as that often points to deeper issues with empathy and kindness. How someone treats the people closest to them is very telling of their overall character.
16. They trust their instincts, but verify.
At the end of the day, good judges of character know that first impressions can be deceiving. While they trust their gut feelings, they also take the time to verify their instincts with concrete evidence. They observe patterns over time, gather information from multiple sources, and are willing to adjust their opinions if new data arises. They understand that accurately assessing character is an ongoing process that requires both intuition and diligence.
