You’ve found the perfect guy. The only problem is, he runs away screaming by the time the date ends. Does this keep happening? Where do you go wrong? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re scaring guys away. It’s okay – the problem is fixable. Think of guys as cute little deer. They scare easily at first; one wrong move and they bolt. Don’t make these mistakes when you’re first getting to know a guy and he’ll be more likely to stick around.
- Going bridezilla on the first date. The vast majority of guys don’t want to talk about marriage until they’ve gotten to know you. Hearing about how you must have periwinkle bridesmaids gowns and doves carrying your train is going to scare him away. The last thing a guy wants is to date a bridezilla. Get the guy first and then focus on wedding plans.
- Freaking out over everything. Do you have a tendency to freak out of the slightest thing? Guys are kind of turned off when they think you’re nuts. So what if your steak came out under-cooked? There’s no reason to scream at the waiter and rant the rest of the night. Keep your cool. Some things just aren’t worth the stress. Plus, if you don’t get yourself under control, guys will run for the hills.
- Demanding he change his Facebook status. One or two dates doesn’t equal boyfriend. Until the two of you sit down and have the talk about being exclusive, he’s not your one and only. Demanding he change his Facebook status to say he’s taken is a little creepy. Besides, who gives a damn about Facebook relationship statuses?
- Taking pics for social media all the time. If you just love photography, that’s great. You’re not scaring guys away. If you’re a chronic Instagramer, you might have a problem. Guys are more than a little weirded out when you have to post selfies of you eating, selfies of getting in his car, selfies of him opening the door for you and so on. Not only are you paying zero attention to him, but you’re showing him what a self-absorbed diva you are.
- Needing constant contact. He didn’t text you back within a few minutes. How could he? Maybe he has a life and has better things to do than text and call you 24/7. Guys are terrified of super needy women. Nothing’s going to scare him away faster than contacting him all the time or demanding he spend all his time with you.
- Comparing him to your exes. He knows you have a past. The start of a relationship really isn’t the time to delve deep into that past. It’s even worse when you start comparing him to your exes. This is fine to do with your girlfriends. He really doesn’t want to know he’s smaller than your last guy. To him, the comparisons just sound like you’re not over your exes yet.
- Being a bitch towards other women. Nothing screams bitch more than spending your entire date talking crap about everyone you know. If you can’t say anything nice about your friends, he knows you’re going to do the same thing about him later. Find something nice to say or just let him do all the talking.
- Acting like a guy. I get it, you want to make him feel comfortable and make him think you’d fit in with his friends. He already has guy friends. Showing up for a date looking like you’ve been working on cars all day isn’t sexy. Showing off your burping skills isn’t good either. You don’t have to go all out, but attempt to act a little like a lady until you get to know each other.
- Forbidding him to go out with his friends. This is a major no no and one guaranteed to scare guys away. No one wants to date the super possessive girl. Even if you’re dating, you both get to have your own separate lives too. Give him some guy time or watch him run.
- Asking him to meet your friends and family. The first few dates isn’t the time to introduce him to all your friends and family. It’s too overwhelming and it screams serious relationship. He doesn’t even know you yet. Guys are scared by women who try to get too serious too soon.
- Talking too much or too little. It’s not as confusing as it sounds. If the guy has to do all the talking, he’s going to try to run away as soon as possible to avoid being bored to death. If he can’t manage to get a single word in, he’s going to run just to enjoy some peace and quiet. Remember, you’re supposed to have conversations where both people talk to each other.
- Making demands. Demanding to go to the most expensive restaurant in town, asking him to dress a certain way and telling him to bring you a specific gift will probably mean the guy runs before the first date even happens. No guy likes to be bossed around. It makes him feel like he’s not good enough. The real problem is you. Stop making demands. You’re not a princess and he doesn’t exist just to serve you.
- Interrogating him. Guys don’t have to account for every second of their time. This is especially true in the beginning. No guy wants to go through 20 questions every time you talk. This also goes for wanting to look through is phone, social media accounts and email. You don’t need to investigate his life. Removing his privacy is a sure way to drive a guy away.
- Overdoing it on the flirting. We’ve all seen this. A woman wants a guy and tries way too hard to flirt. She laughs too loud even when he doesn’t make a joke. She tosses her hair and slaps some poor bystander in the face. It’s like watching a train wreck. You can’t stop it, but you can’t look away. We all know how it ends though. The guy makes his excuses and leaves as fast as possible.
- Making everything a competition. You don’t have to prove you’re better than him at everything. Guys love competition. They don’t love a woman that tries to always show them up. Would you really enjoy it if a guy had to out do you all the time? It’d probably make you feel like crap. He feels the same way and doesn’t want to stick around for more.
- Professing your love. Guys aren’t quite as afraid of commitment as they’d like us to think. Still, it’s scary as hell to hear “I love you” by the second date. This kind of goes back to being clingy. Wait just a little before professing your love. Otherwise, he’s going to think you want a commitment he’s not sure he’s ready to give yet.
See, with just a few little tweaks to how you act around a guy will prevent you from scaring him off.