Some phrases that people use can unintentionally harm others, especially when they dismiss or minimize emotions. The words we choose in difficult moments shape how someone feels heard or ignored. Here’s a look at phrases you may want to avoid, ranked by how damaging they can be to someone’s emotional well-being.
1. “I’m Sorry You Feel That Way.”
Saying, “I’m sorry you feel that way,” may sound like an apology, but it’s a way of avoiding responsibility and dismissing the other person’s feelings. It shifts the focus from the issue at hand to the person’s emotional response, subtly suggesting that they’re overreacting. This phrase lacks genuine empathy and understanding, leaving the other person feeling frustrated. It’s not an apology—it’s a deflection.
2. “Just Get Over It.”
Brushing off someone’s emotions with “just get over it” makes them feel like their pain is insignificant and unworthy of attention. This phrase dismisses the complexity of their feelings and sends a message that they’re overreacting. It shows a complete lack of understanding and empathy, leaving the person feeling invalidated and unheard. People who use this phrase may not realize it, but it can cause lasting damage to a person’s self-esteem and emotional well-being.
3. “Stop Being So Sensitive.”
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Labeling someone as “too sensitive” when they express hurt or discomfort invalidates their emotions and makes them feel ashamed for being vulnerable. This phrase tells them that their feelings are wrong or excessive, which can cause them to suppress their emotions in the future. People who hear this often start doubting their reactions and may hesitate to share their true feelings, leading to emotional isolation and self-doubt.
4. “You’re Overreacting.”
Dismissing someone’s feelings with “you’re overreacting” undermines their emotional experience and makes them question their reality. It suggests they’re making a big deal out of nothing, causing them to feel belittled and misunderstood. This phrase can shut down communication and create distance in relationships, as the person on the receiving end may feel like they can’t express their emotions without being judged or criticized.
5. “That’s Not My Problem.”
Responding to someone’s struggles with “that’s not my problem” clearly shows indifference and lack of empathy. It’s a harsh way of shutting down any possibility of support or understanding. While you’re not obligated to solve others’ problems, this phrase completely dismisses their feelings and leaves them feeling abandoned. People often seek empathy, not solutions, and this phrase can make them feel rejected and unimportant.
6. “It Could Be Worse.”
Responding to someone’s pain with “it could be worse” minimizes their feelings and can make them feel guilty for even bringing it up. It implies their struggles aren’t serious enough to deserve support or compassion. While it may seem like an attempt to put things in perspective, it invalidates their experience and can lead to isolation. Instead of offering comfort, it makes them feel dismissed and misunderstood.
7. “You’re Too Emotional.”
Calling someone “too emotional” shames them for having a natural response to their circumstances. It implies that they must change who they are to be more acceptable or avoid making others uncomfortable. This phrase can lead to emotional suppression and make the person feel ashamed of their feelings. Over time, it damages their self-esteem and may prevent them from expressing themselves honestly, creating a barrier to open communication.
8. “I’ve Had It Worse.”
Saying “I’ve had it worse” turns the conversation into a comparison game, where the other person’s pain is minimized. It shifts the focus away from their experience and onto yourself, making them feel like their struggles don’t matter. This phrase implies that their feelings are less significant, leaving them feeling unheard and unsupported. It’s not about who’s had it worse—it’s about recognizing that pain is real, no matter the circumstance.
9. “That’s Just How Life Is.”
Responding to someone’s struggles with “that’s just how life is” dismisses their pain and suggests they should simply accept their situation without complaint. This phrase offers no comfort or support and can make the person feel even more alone in their struggle. It’s a way of shutting down the conversation, leaving the person feeling like their concerns aren’t worth addressing or that they should deal with it on their own.
10. “Everyone Goes Through That.”
Dismissing someone’s struggle with “everyone goes through that” suggests that their pain is normal and, therefore, not worth addressing. While it’s true that many people face similar challenges, it doesn’t mean their experience isn’t valid or deserving of empathy. This phrase makes the person feel like they’re complaining about something trivial, leading to guilt and reluctance to share their emotions in the future.
11. “You’re Being Dramatic.”
Accusing someone of being dramatic invalidates their feelings and makes them feel embarrassed or ashamed for expressing themselves. It implies that they’re exaggerating or seeking attention, which can cause them to bottle up their emotions in the future. This phrase is particularly harmful because it discourages honest communication and can lead to emotional suppression. Over time, it erodes trust and creates distance in relationships.
12. “Why Are You Still Upset?”
Asking someone why they’re still upset suggests that their emotions have an expiration date. It dismisses the complexity of their feelings and makes them feel pressured to “get over it” according to someone else’s timeline. This phrase ignores that healing takes time and everyone processes emotions differently. It can make them feel like their feelings are a burden, pushing them to hide their emotions rather than seek support.
13. “I’m Just Being Honest.”
Hiding behind “I’m just being honest” when making hurtful comments deflects responsibility for how the words impact others. Honesty is important, but empathy should guide how it’s delivered. This phrase often serves as an excuse to be blunt or critical, causing unnecessary harm. The intention behind the words doesn’t lessen their impact, and using this phrase can leave the other person feeling attacked and unappreciated, which stifles open communication.
14. “You’re Being So Negative.”
Telling someone they’re being negative when they express difficult emotions shames them for sharing what they’re going through. This phrase implies that they should only express positive emotions, discouraging them from being honest about their feelings. It suggests that their emotions are burdensome or wrong, which can lead to self-doubt and emotional suppression. Over time, this response can damage the person’s mental health and self-esteem.
15. “At Least It’s Not As Bad As…”
Comparing someone’s pain to a worse situation by saying, “At least it’s not as bad as…” minimizes their experience and invalidates their emotions. While it might be meant to provide perspective, it often comes across as dismissive and unsupportive. This phrase can leave the person feeling guilty for even feeling upset in the first place, making it harder for them to express their true emotions or seek help when needed.
16. “That’s Not a Big Deal.”
Downplaying someone’s concerns by saying, “That’s not a big deal,” belittles their experience and makes them feel like their feelings aren’t valid. It’s dismissive and can cause the person to question whether their reactions are appropriate. What may seem insignificant to one person can feel overwhelming to another. Using this phrase shuts down the conversation and discourages them from openly sharing their emotions, leading to isolation and self-doubt.
17. “You Should Be Grateful.”
Telling someone they “should be grateful” when they’re going through a tough time invalidates their feelings and suggests they don’t have a right to be upset. While gratitude is valuable, using it to shame someone for feeling negative emotions can make them feel guilty and conflicted. This phrase disregards their pain and implies that they’re ungrateful for what they have, making it harder for them to express their emotions authentically.
