17 Telltale Signs Your Friend is Secretly Rooting for You to Fail

17 Telltale Signs Your Friend is Secretly Rooting for You to Fail

We all want to believe our friends are our biggest cheerleaders. But sometimes, the people closest to us can harbor jealousy or secretly hope we stumble. Whether it’s because they’re unhappy with their own situation or they don’t want to be outshined, these subtle signs can show you when a friend isn’t as supportive as they seem. Here are 17 dead giveaways your friend might secretly hope you don’t succeed.

1. They Barely Clap When You Win

You hit a milestone or accomplish something major, and instead of cheering, your friend gives you a half-hearted “congrats” or barely acknowledges it. If they can’t muster up some genuine excitement for your wins, it’s a big red flag. Real friends celebrate your victories; if they’re keeping it low-key, they might be hoping you don’t keep winning.

2. They Always Downplay Your Success

couple having argument on couch

If they’re constantly saying things like “It’s not that big of a deal” or “Anyone could have done that,” they’re not just being humble—they’re undermining you. Downplaying your accomplishments is their way of making sure you don’t get too comfortable in the spotlight. A friend who minimizes your wins isn’t really thrilled about you shining brighter than them.

3. They Give “Advice” That Sets You Back

Ever notice that their advice has a way of leading you off track? Whether it’s pushing you to take unnecessary risks or steering you in the wrong direction, their “guidance” often feels more like sabotage. If their advice makes you second-guess yourself or leads to setbacks, they might not be as invested in your success as they claim.

4. They Disappear When You Need Them

boyfriend is cheating

When things get tough or you’re working toward a big goal, are they suddenly MIA? A friend who’s always busy or unavailable when you need support might not want to see you succeed. If they’re only around for the good times but never for the grind, it’s a sign they’re not as invested in your journey as they should be.

5. It’s Always a Competition

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Do they turn everything into a rivalry? Whether it’s who has the better job, who’s more successful, or even who’s more “popular,” they constantly try to one-up you. Instead of being happy for you, they’re more focused on outdoing you. A true friend won’t make your friendship a competition—they’ll cheer for you without keeping score.

6. They Hit You With Backhanded Compliments

“Wow, you did great… considering you didn’t have much experience.” Ouch. These backhanded compliments are just digs dressed up as praise. If your friend is constantly serving up insults disguised as compliments, they’re not really happy for you. Real friends lift you up, not hit you with low-key shade.

7. They Gossip About You Behind Your Back

If you find out your friend is talking behind your back or spreading rumors, they’re not just being careless—they’re actively undermining you. Gossiping about your struggles or success to others shows they don’t respect you, and it’s a major red flag that they’re hoping you don’t get ahead.

8. They Discourage You From Chasing Big Goals

When you share your dreams, do they roll their eyes or tell you it’s “too risky” or “unrealistic”? A friend who constantly throws cold water on your ambitions might be hoping you don’t go after what you really want. They’d rather keep you on their level than see you soar.

9. They Pull Away When Things Are Going Well for You

Every time something great happens in your life, do they get distant? If they suddenly stop responding to texts or cancel plans when you’re riding high, it’s a clear sign they’re uncomfortable with your success. A true friend should be there to celebrate your wins, not run away from them.

10. They Never Ask How Your Plans Are Going

If they never check in on your projects, goals, or progress, it might be because they don’t want to hear about your success. A supportive friend shows interest in your journey and celebrates your milestones. If they avoid talking about your accomplishments, it could be a sign they’re secretly hoping you don’t make it.

11. They Love Bringing Up Your Past Mistakes

If they constantly remind you of times you’ve failed or made mistakes, they’re not helping—they’re holding you back. Instead of focusing on your growth, they drag you down by bringing up your past slip-ups. A real friend should help you move forward, not keep throwing your old mistakes in your face.

12. They Critique Every Move You Make

Close up of Upset Young Couple having Conversation

Constructive criticism is one thing, but if your friend constantly picks apart your decisions and never offers helpful advice, they might be trying to chip away at your confidence. A friend who only criticizes without offering support doesn’t want to see you succeed—they want to see you second-guess yourself.

13. They Side With Others Against You

If they always seem to take someone else’s side in disagreements or conflicts, it’s a sign they’re not rooting for you. A friend who consistently sides against you, especially in tough situations, may be more interested in seeing you fail than succeed.

14. Jealousy Seeps Out When Good Things Happen to You

Bored girl listening to her friend having a conversation sitting on a couch in the living room at home

Do they get weirdly quiet or seem off when something good happens in your life? If they react to your success with envy or bitterness instead of excitement, it’s a sign they’re not happy for you. Their jealousy might be masking their desire to see you stumble, rather than celebrate your achievements.

15. They Brush Off Their Own Success When You Achieve Something

ugly guy

If every time you achieve something, your friend suddenly acts like their own accomplishments don’t matter, they might be trying to make your success seem less significant. By downplaying their own wins, they’re subtly minimizing yours. A real friend celebrates both your victories and theirs without playing down either.

16. They’re Always Asking for Help, but Never Offering Any

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Do they constantly lean on you for support but never return the favor? A one-sided friendship like this is a sign they’re more focused on their own progress than helping you succeed. If they’re always asking for help but never there for you, they might secretly hope you don’t surpass them.

17. They Act Weird When Others Praise You

If they get uncomfortable or seem irritated when other people compliment you or recognize your achievements, it’s a clear sign they’re not thrilled about your success. A supportive friend will be happy to see others praise you—they won’t downplay your accomplishments or act jealous when you get the spotlight.