Have you ever stepped outside on a bright sunny day and blinded yourself? If so, you’re probably like me and have pale skin. Isn’t it just wonderful? Don’t get me wrong, I actually love being a pale girl – it’s taken some time, but I’ve come to accept my complexion now. I still hate all the comments and battles with the sun, but I guess even those naturally tanned girls have their own skin issues.
If you’re pale, you’ll definitely relate. If you’re not, let me introduce you to all the daily struggles we pale girls have to endure. It’ll make you finally appreciate our beautiful pale complexions. Of course, I’m sure you’ll still choose a darker complexion any day. Personally, I’m embracing my paleness and every other pale girl should too.
- The sun hates you. While everyone else has lovely sun-kissed skin, you’re pretty sure the sun is lying in wait just to burn your skin the moment you walk outside. Dear sun, I hate you, too.
- You turn red as a lobster after 20 minutes in the sun. There’s no in-between here. I’m either pale or bright red. The last time I checked, tans aren’t red. Even spray tans go horribly wrong.
- Your beauty (and skin) are blinding. I’ve decided the phrase “your beauty is blinding” was meant for pale girls. Seriously, go outside in the sun and you’re reflective. It’s kind of cool, but annoying too.
- You’ve probably been called a vampire 500 times. Haha, I’ve never been called a vampire before. Can we please end the vampire craze so maybe I can escape being called Bella or even Team Edward?
- “Fair” makeup is never the right color. Whoever makes makeup for fair skin has obviously never seen it. It’s a challenge every day trying to avoid a noticeable makeup line. Even the fairest makeup still looks a little dark.
- Veins and dark circles are your only color. Well, I guess since I can’t tan, I’ll just embrace how my veins and dark circles simply pop against my super pale skin. Yes, I’m sleeping enough. No, I don’t have a vein problem, I’m just translucent.
- Shelling out entire paychecks for sunscreen is common. Okay, so maybe it doesn’t cost that much, but sunscreen is my constant companion. Otherwise, I burn to a crisp. Of course, pale or not, everyone needs to use sunscreen.
- You bruise way too easily. Everything bruises you. I hate it. I look like I’m a total klutz or someone’s beating me on a regular basis. I always feel like I need a padded body suit just to go out.
- You get to be the “pale” friend. Notice how all your friends want you near them in photos? Your pale skin makes them look great. They also love comparing your skin to theirs. If they only knew the struggle when it comes to selfies.
- You get called annoying nicknames that aren’t funny anymore. Calling me Casper when I was 5 might have been cute. Doing it when I’m 25 isn’t. The cutesy little nicknames aren’t funny anymore.
- You’ll do anything to stay indoors. Lying on the beach looks so relaxing. The resulting burn, no matter what you do, not so much. It’s amazing how much stuff you find to do indoors just to avoid your enemy: the sun.
- You get sunburn in the weirdest places. Who knew you could burn in between your toes? I found that out the hard way. You will burn in places the average person never will.
- You get told you’ll still look great when you’re old. Thanks, that’s such a wonderful compliment. I love knowing that when I’m 80, my pale skin will make me look beautiful. Too bad it’ll just make those varicose veins stand out even more.
- You blend into white clothes. This really applies to any extremely light color. The thought of wearing a white wedding dress gives me nightmares. Imagine walking down the aisle and no one notices you at all. I guess I really would look like Casper.
- But you’re too pale for black. Nope, white isn’t the only color that goes horribly wrong on me. Pale girls know that black only accentuates just how pale they are. If you want to glow, put on a black tank sometime.
- You’re always being asked if you’re sick. I hate being asked this by people who already know me. I’m always pale. It doesn’t mean I’m sick. It’s okay – my paleness isn’t contagious. Of course, I’d love to share and see just how well you deal with it.
- You can never escape a blush. When you’re not pasty, it’s a little easier to hide a blush. Try doing it with pale skin – it’s like having two neon signs on your face. Everyone will notice and they will laugh. Of course, that just makes it even worse.
It’s nice to see pale skin making a comeback. Why should tanned girls have all the fun? Go ahead and blind the world with your gorgeous fair skin.