17 Things All Smart Guys Understand About Women

So many men think they have women figured out when really, they don’t have a clue. The versions many of them have in their heads bear no semblance to who we are in reality. Thankfully, there are some men who have taken the time to dig a little deeper in an attempt to meet us halfway. Here are 17 things all smart guys understand about women.

1. Women are ambitious. Women should demand your respect because we have all the same career and life ambitions that you do. Maybe we don’t earn the same amount of money, but we push just as hard to get sh-t done. Don’t put us down or dismiss the projects we’re working on – we don’t forget that stuff. Also, if our ambitions are different from yours, don’t assume they don’t exist. They do, and they’re just as valid as whatever you’re working towards. Smart men know this.
2. We’re equal. Smart men should get very comfortable very quickly about acknowledging that their partners are equal. No one has more power than the other, no one calls all the shots, and no one is less than the other. Women do not have to be submissive (unless we want to in the bedroom, of course) or “obey” our male partners. It’s 2022. This really shouldn’t be akin to rocket science.
3. We have big problems like you. Yes, women complain about our friends, drama from work, and about always being broke because we’re spending so much money, but that’s not to say that we don’t also feel the pressure of the modern world. We have genuine money problems, family issues, and anxieties that keep us up at night. Smart men aren’t so arrogant as to assume that women have tiny pea brains incapable of processing serious issues.
4. We should be able to complain without being bratty. Smart men know they need to create safe spaces for women so that we can complain without being made to feel bratty or annoying. Women are great communicators, and we all need to air our grievances sometimes. It doesn’t make us dramatic or petty or any of the other condescending adjectives many men like to use. It makes us human.
5. We need consistent attention and affection. We’re really complex people, constantly facing a host of equally complex problems, but sometimes we just want to be listened to and heard. Giving us attention will ensure you can build a relationship and connection with the woman you’re talking to. Smart guys understand that you can’t just come around to get laid and then ignore us for a few more days until you’re horny again.
6. We also need space sometimes too. At the same time, women need space on occasion just like men do. We can’t run our emotions on your timeline, so don’t be surprised if you want space when we want attention or vice versa. It’s a smart move to recognize where our needs overlap and diverge. Recognize that not all women are “clingy” and want to be with you 24/7. It doesn’t mean we don’t like you or that we’re cheating, just that we have lives outside of our relationship.
7. We don’t mean it when we say “no presents.” This is a universally understood fact that women always enjoy receiving gifts, no matter how anticapitalist we are in our politics. That doesn’t mean that you have to break the bank. Smart guys will know that a meaningful or homemade gift will be better received us than a generic but expensive gift.
8. We don’t owe you sex. It’s great that you’re so attracted to us that you want to jump our bones 24/7, but smart guys recognize that not only do women not always want to be pounced on but that we don’t have to have sex with you when we don’t want to because we don’t actually owe you anything. Extra smart guys also know better than to try and manipulate us into changing our minds or to sit around pouting about it like immature children.

More things smart guys understand about women

1. Most women won’t (and shouldn’t) sacrifice their careers for you. If you wouldn’t do the same in return, don’t expect it, and certainly not in the early stages of talking to someone new. Smart guys will get that our work is important to us and that we’re not willing to compromise, just as you wouldn’t. It’s all about the give and take and the ability to compromise. Align your expectations with the women in your life to make sure you explicitly say that you value our career as much as your own.
2. We need a guy with a good sense of humor.  We want someone that will make us feel good about ourselves and who will always remind us that there’s more to life than serious stuff. Women put a lot of pressure on themselves, so we need a release. Smart guys understand the importance of laughter in long-term relationships and will do their best to keep a smile on their partner’s face.
3. A lot of us actually prefer dad bods. Smart guys will also note that dad bods are very in right now. Gone are the days – well, mostly – when guys are expected to be ripped and have a six-pack as a standard expectation. Society has started to acknowledge that women don’t need to look perfect and feminine all the time, and the same has happened to our taste in men too. Most of us don’t actually care that you’re more Seth Rogen than Channing Tatum. We’re looking for something deeper.
4. We value quality time more than material goods. Every emotionally-aware woman will prefer proper quality time over a gift that a guy hasn’t put any thought into. When you’re planning date nights, this is a crucial thing to know so that you don’t just plan activities but focus on good talking time to get to know each other better and create lasting memories.
5. We love meaningful, smaller gifts. Make gifts personal rather than generic. Smart guys know that meaningful gifts are often reminders of the past or good shared memories. If you see yourself getting past the talking stage with someone, look around you for momentos of that time, like ticket stubs or other reminders of the day. This will ensure you have a bank of memories to draw on and meaningful gift ideas when it comes to anniversaries.
6. We don’t want to hear about your exes. We know that acting like Lotharios makes some guys feel big and powerful, but smart guys don’t talk about their exes to the current woman they’re seeing. They understand that it’s a power move and that it comes from a place of insecurity. They understand that women won’t respond to these tactics and in fact, we might find it to be a total turn-off.
7. We like it when you dress up. Just as men like it when women dress up, women like it when men smarten up for special occasions. This can be anything from putting a nice pair of jeans on with a shirt or getting your shoes polished and suited and booted for a friend’s wedding. It’s aspirational, and always nice to see you at your best. Smart guys will remember to send evidence of yourselves dressing up if we’re not around to witness it in person.
8. We love a tidy living space. Little touches like actually making your bed and maybe having a couple of throw pillows on the couch show that basic things like personal hygiene and steps towards self-care are in place. It shows women that you’re a smart, educated guy who can take care of himself as well as you. It doesn’t hurt to have a drawer ready to give us to store our essentials or something that will just make us feel at home.
9. We’re not your second mom. Smart guys are looking for a partner, not a replacement mother to do their washing, cleaning, cooking, etc. While we’ll likely be happy to do what we can to make your life easier/happier, we also expect you to pitch in and pull your weight. We’re not trying to have kids right now and if we were, we certainly want to be raising an oversized oaf alongside an actual baby.