17 Ways Couples Hurt Each Other When Their Relationship Turns Ugly

17 Ways Couples Hurt Each Other When Their Relationship Turns Ugly

When relationships turn sour, it’s not always the big events that destroy them but the accumulation of small, destructive habits. These toxic behaviors can erode trust, respect, and love, leaving both partners feeling drained and disconnected. Here are 17 ways couples can unintentionally (or intentionally) hurt each other when their relationship starts to go south.

1. They Use The Silent Treatment

Young couple in the middle of relationship conflict

Giving the silent treatment may feel like a way to avoid conflict, but it’s actually a form of emotional manipulation. Instead of addressing problems, one partner shuts down communication, leaving the other feeling ignored and undervalued. This tactic builds resentment and drives a wedge between partners, making reconciliation harder over time.

2. They Keep Score

Keeping track of each other’s mistakes or perceived wrongs creates a competitive atmosphere instead of a supportive partnership. This tit-for-tat behavior poisons the relationship, as both partners focus on one-upping each other rather than working together to resolve issues and move forward.

3. They Ignore Or Disrespect Boundaries

unhappy black couple fighting

Disregarding personal boundaries shows a lack of respect and consideration for your partner’s individuality. Whether it’s invading privacy, dismissing feelings, or overstepping limits, this behavior erodes trust and creates a toxic dynamic that makes one or both partners feel unsafe.

4. They Engage In Power Struggles

Couple arguing in the morning at home

When couples fight for control, the relationship turns into a battlefield. Whether it’s about decision-making, finances, or even minor issues, constant power struggles undermine the equality that healthy partnerships need to thrive.

5. They Criticize Each Other In Public

young couple fight breakup dating romance

Public criticism can be humiliating and deeply damaging to a relationship. Instead of addressing concerns privately, airing grievances in front of others breeds resentment and erodes trust. Partners should strive to protect each other’s dignity, even during tough times.

6. They Have Frequent Jealous Outbursts

woman reading boyfriend's texts

Jealousy might seem like a sign of love, but frequent outbursts only reveal insecurity and mistrust. These episodes create a hostile environment where both partners feel on edge, further widening the emotional gap between them.

7. They Neglect Each Other’s Needs

boyfriend is cheating

Failing to meet your partner’s emotional, physical, or mental needs signals a lack of care and effort in the relationship. Over time, this neglect builds feelings of resentment and loneliness, making it difficult to rebuild connection and intimacy.

8. Their Communication Is Overwhelmingly Negative

Constant criticism, sarcasm, and negative remarks create a toxic environment that pushes partners further apart. A relationship can only survive when communication fosters respect and understanding, even during disagreements.

9. They Hold Grudges

couple sitting by trees

Hanging onto past mistakes and bringing them up in every argument prevents the relationship from moving forward. Forgiveness is essential for healing and growth; without it, resentment festers and poisons the bond.

10. They Refuse To Own Up To Mistakes

Cheating, jealous, obsession, possession. Young woman talking on smartphone while angry boyfriend sitting next to her on the park bench. Bad love relationships

A lack of accountability stalls any attempt at resolving conflicts. Refusing to admit fault shows a lack of humility and respect for your partner’s feelings, making it nearly impossible to rebuild trust after disagreements.

11. They Manipulate Each Other

Manipulation through guilt, emotional blackmail, or threats creates an unhealthy power imbalance. This behavior leads to distrust and emotional damage, eroding the very foundation of the relationship. Manipulation has no place in a loving relationship, if one or both of you resort to this tactic, things have definitely soured.

12. They Disrespect Each Other

signs he doesn't want a relationship

Name-calling, belittling, and constant criticism not only destroy self-esteem and love, it’s just downright toxic. Respect is the cornerstone of any relationship and without it, the connection becomes unsustainable. If the relationship has devolved to ridiculing, it’s a sign things have turned ugly.

13. They Sweep Issues Under The Rug

Avoiding conflict might seem like the easy way out, but unspoken issues have a way of resurfacing. Unresolved problems create tension that eventually leads to bigger blow-ups, making it crucial to address concerns head-on.

14. They Act Like Nothing Happened After A Fight

man with beard using mobile

Ignoring conflict after an argument doesn’t make it disappear. Instead, it leaves both partners feeling unheard and disrespected. Healthy relationships require acknowledgment and resolution of issues to move forward positively.

15. They Refuse To Give Each Other Space

Clinging too tightly or invading personal space can stifle individuality and create resentment. Allowing each other time and space to recharge fosters a healthier dynamic and helps both partners bring their best selves to the relationship.

16. They Play The Victim

Acting like the wronged party in every conflict deflects accountability and invalidates the other person’s feelings. Not only is this tactic incredibly childish, but it also creates a whole load of uneccsessary frustration and prevents real resolutions from happening.

17. They Withhold Love And Affection

couple sitting on couch arguing

Using love as a bargaining chip or withholding affection as punishment manipulates the relationship dynamic. This behavior creates emotional insecurity, undermining trust and stability in the partnership. If you’re both playing mind games with one another, it’s a surefire sign that things have most likely turned toxic between you both.

This content was created by a real person with the assistance of AI.

Georgia is a passionate story-teller and accomplished lifestyle journalist originally from Australia, now based in New York City. She writes lifestyle content for Bolde Media, publishers of Bolde, Star Candy and Earth Animals.